Sensual Touch

When I was young and naive I used to wonder how many babies it took to make one bottle of Baby Oil?  You know the stuff, it’s that clear oil made by the company beginning with J.  Now that I’m slightly less young, but still rather naive, I realise of course that they don’t make it out of babies. It’s used on babies… and it has other uses, one of which is as a lubricant in massage. So because we’re now on L in the Z to A of Sensual Massage the word for this post is Lubricate. L for Lubricate.

I don’t recommend Baby Oil is used as massage oil though. It can be used as massage oil if it’s all you’ve got but I find it too thick and greasy to be good for use in massage. I prefer to use different oils for massage….which we’ll cover later in this post because I’d like to talk about where Baby Oil is used as a lubricant. What I’m referring to is the use of Baby Oil in naked oil wrestling…. Did you know that naked oil wrestling was a thing?

I like combat sports. I like watching MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) and boxing and I love punching and kicking a punchbag and sparring with a partner. It’s excellent for fitness, keeping your mind sharp and is a great stress reliever. Obviously I don’t go out looking for fights, that’s not a good idea. I’ve studied martial arts which teaches you to avoid situations where it may be necessary to use your self defence techniques. If avoiding the situation doesn’t work then you learn techniques to ensure that no fighting takes place, or you only resort to fighting if it’s in self defence where there is no alternative. All sensible stuff.

I like sex. I like watching sex and eroticism, and I love having sex with a partner (or partners….why not?). It’s excellent for fitness, keeping your mind sharp and is a great stress reliever. Obviously I don’t go out looking for sex (actually it sometimes comes looking for me). I’ve studied sex ……you get the picture where I am going?

Yes…combat sports and sex… These are a few of my favourite things (with apologies to Julie Andrews). Let’s do some algebra: combat sports + sex = naked oil wrestling. Now that’s something that definitely gets my interest!

I first watched naked oil wrestling at a gay nightclub in London. It was one of those clubs, you probably know them…where you dance, drink, and get to know people (some of them intimately) in a naked environment. In reality for most of the evening people stand around watching other people standing around watching people.

It’s a people watching overload session where there’s always the hope that the hottest guy is yet to arrive. And then about half hour before the club is due to close and everyone realises the hottest guy isn’t coming there’s a rush to find some action with anyone who is as desperate as you are.

Anyway, during part of this evening, which to be honest is what attracted me to attend, there was billed a session of naked oil wrestling. Enthusiastic, and presumably exhibitionist, volunteers were sought to mess around doing naked oil wrestling for half an hour or so for the entertainment of the crowd.

The volunteers were covered in baby oil and paired up to wrestle each other in a large children’s paddling pool while the crowd encourages them with what could be described as instructions. It’s the way of these things that the volunteers aren’t necessarily those who ought to be doing a naked oil wrestling show, but there you go, you can’t have everything. A couple of the wrestlers were reasonably sexy once covered in oil and spurred on by the crowd.

I was quite tempted to volunteer to wrestle, but that voice of doubt that you get in your head when anything exciting but naughty is on offer started to talk to me.  The voice said that I’d inevitably dislocate my shoulder and end up being taken to hospital naked and covered in Baby Oil and how the hell would I explain that?

So I just watched as the guys wrestled each other. The sexiest couple (relatively speaking remember) progressed to sucking each other whilst the others, presumably not wanting to go that far, stepped out to let the couple take centre stage. As the couple slid various well lubricated parts of themselves into each other I remember being quite concerned about the baby oil going places it probably shouldn’t, but they didn’t seem worried by that.

Of course I guess the wrestling show was designed to get the crowd going, should they be in need of any encouragement. It worked very well because there was now much less people watching going on and much more close physical interaction. The friends I had gone with had disappeared and it was getting late so I found a hot guy who wanted his tonsils given a cum wash and gave him what he was looking for. Then I left for home, with the naked oil wrestling firmly imprinted in my imagination.

You know when an idea gets into your mind and over time it becomes an obsession. You start to see connections almost everywhere. You notice references to it that you’d never seen previously.  Call it fate perhaps, but you end up finding it, or it finds you. Either way it’s your destiny. It’s almost as if it was pre-determined that naked oil wrestling found me again, this time in a different location and in a different way.

Through a friend I heard about a private wrestling club that held regular wrestling sessions, including the occasional oil session.  The subtext was obviously erotic because guys at the regular sessions were encouraged to wrestle in speedos or leotards, and these could be removed to wrestle naked if they wished. The oil sessions were always naked and obviously were a little more challenging to put on than the ‘normal’ sessions because of the need to set up plastic sheeting to contain the oil. It all sounded ideal.

I knew the organiser so I signed up to a session. I’ve done proper combat wrestling, during martial arts competition, so I know how to get someone in some basic holds to submission. It’s a totally different prospect though when you’re covered in oil and naked. You have nothing to get hold of (insert your own jokes here…) so it’s almost impossible to get anyone into a hold and keep them there. It’s great fun though!  I’d recommend it if you’re thinking of taking part. Ignore that voice of doubt. I didn’t end up in hospital….yet.

So… what about using Baby Oil for massage? I don’t use it in my massage sessions. It’s too greasy and thick. For my massage clients I use Grapeseed oil, usually unscented. Grapeseed oil contains linoleum acid which tightens and nourishes the skin and it’s easily absorbed, so it’s great for massage. If you like scented oil you can also add your favourite scent to it. There’s one drawback; don’t buy white towels or massage bed coverings because Grapeseed oil leaves bad stains. You live and learn….

How much oil should you use in a massage? Well…the answer is ‘it depends’. If you are massaging a very hairy person then you’ll need plenty of oil. I’ve massaged some very hairy guys (no hairy women thankfully but there’s still time….) and if you don’t use enough oil it can be painful for the guy because their body hair gets pulled by your strokes. Use lots of oil to ensure your hands glide; he will be grateful. If it’s a hairy woman then my advice is that the oil is the least of your concerns…

Other oils I sometimes use for massage are coconut oil or almond oil. Both glide well and absorb but there is the risk that someone with a nut allergy may have an adverse reaction. I’ve used solid coconut oil a few times. It’s good because it’s less slippery than liquid oil and is useful if you want to work small areas with deep pressure. Make sure the room is warm enough though. I once massaged a guy who liked the room quite cold (who knows why?). The cold meant that the solid coconut oil I was using wouldn’t easily melt in my hands, which made the massage more challenging. Ensure the room is warm!

On the subject of temperature, I always like to warm the oil before the massage because it feels great to have warm oil against your skin. And that brings us back to babies… the ideal oil warmer is a baby’s feeding bottle warmer, it keeps the oil at just the right temperature all through the massage. If you don’t have a bottle warmer, simply boil some water and place your massage oil bottle in a cup of the hot water to warm it up.

And what oil should you use for naked oil wrestling? Who cares! As long as it’s slippery it’ll work. Just make sure that if a body part should end up inside you (by accident of course) that whatever oil you’re using will taste nice, so possibly use olive oil? Oh and if you end up in hospital you can always say it was a cooking accident…

The next letter in our sequence is K. Suggestions are welcome.

How far would you travel for a good masturbation session? 100 miles? Each way? Is that too far or is it a reasonable distance in the circumstances. I guess the answer is it depends on the quality of the session and how horny you are. All sensible thinking disappears when you feel really horny doesn’t it?

Well… I’ll admit I once drove 100 miles each way for a guy to masturbate me. Oh, and before you say I was being paid for it, I wasn’t. It was a free service, for a friend.

Normally there is a charge…just in case anyone is thinking of making a booking for my services. I’m available for weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs etc. Please see my agent to book. Actually…I don’t have an agent so if anyone is available to manage my diary (and do other odd jobs such as towel washing and carrying my massage table) please do get in touch!

I have to let you know that this masturbation event wasn’t just a normal bit of fun with my friend. There was an extra interest for making this journey. Oh… and before we continue with my story there’s something I must do. I just need to substitute ‘Masturbation’ for ‘Wank’ in this post from now on, is that OK?. I hope you don’t mind me ‘cheating’ with the Z to A. I really don’t like the Masturbation word but it’s ideal for letter ‘M’ so I’m using it as the title of the post. However I’m using wank in the writing. We already had W (see W for Where) so I’m using M for wank which is a bit of a cheat but I hope you’ll let it go.

I’m not sure why I don’t like the M word, but I do know that I much prefer to use wank, it’s so much more fun. My prudish spellcheck apparently doesn’t like it so if you see bank, want or sank used incongruously in this piece hereafter then the spellcheck will have censored me… and I didn’t see it…..apologies.

OK the rant about the M word is over…let’s get back to my odyssey for a good wank. As I said already, this was no normal wank (what is a normal wank anyway?). On this occasion I was travelling to a session where I was to be the demonstration model at a cock massage event my friend was running.

The idea of the event is that an audience watches a demonstration of a range of different wank methods on a model as part of a sensual massage. Then the audience all get to put their learning into practice on each other while the model and masseur go around helping them with the practical. It’s a good concept, and one which I was keen to support, obviously.

Now my 100 mile journey starts to make more sense doesn’t it? My friend had told me about his plans for the ‘Masturbation Techniques Workshop’ (as it was titled) and suggested that I might like to be the demonstration model. He knows me well. I remember the conversation went something like;

My Friend: “I’m running a cock massage demonstration workshop for 20 guys next week. Do you fancy being the demonstration body? You just have to lay naked on the massage table while I use 20 different techniques to wank you“

Me: “Ok“.

Doesn’t take much thinking about does it?

The day of the workshop arrived. I trimmed and prepared down there at home and then set off on the drive. The trouble with a 100 mile journey is that you have a lot of time to think about the session.

At the start of the journey I was imagining it all going well….I arrive, there’s a large audience of very attractive guys. I get instantly hard and then my mate demonstrates the 20 or so moves on me for half hour or so. At the finale I shoot a big cum fountain all over the place to loud applause from the enthusiastic audience. They demand an encore, which of course I manage after a brief refreshment break. My friend is delighted. The event is a big success.

However as the journey continues and the reality of the situation comes closer the scenario in my head begins to change. By the time I’m nearly at the destination the whole thing is going to be a disaster…I arrive, there’s 3 people in the audience. None of them are hot. I struggle to get hard and my friend has to substitute in a dildo for part of the demo (oh the shame of it….). He then desperately tries to bring me to ejaculation, becoming ever more frenzied in his technique as my soft cock refuses to respond. One guy in the audience falls asleep, the other two demand a refund.

This battle in my head between my horn and my self doubt persisted right up to the door of the location. I almost turned around at the entrance as the doubting voice in my head became stronger. Obviously my desire and intrigue was just slightly stronger than the voices of doubt in my head, and I walked into the room. In this situation my dick was doing most of the thinking……so what’s new?

How did it go? Dream scenario or nightmare? Well, as is normal with these things it was neither one nor the other.  The audience was appreciative (and with a smattering of hotties too), the demonstration went very well (my mate really is an expert masseur) and I rose to the occasion, stayed hard for the whole demonstration and managed to hold off shooting until the right moment. However there was no encore….I’m not 19 anymore. It was fun helping the audience to practice on each other and the whole workshop was successful.

We covered 20 or so different techniques in the workshop. There are of course many many more techniques than just the 20 we used and I saw the guys at the workshop use some of their own techniques as well as those they’d learned. I also see it in my work as a sensual masseur where I must have wanked hundreds of different guys, and quite a lot of females too. I say ‘wanked’ females… but going back to the wank / masturbate debate I think it feels more correct to use masturbate when it comes to females. You wank guys and you masturbate females…(if that’s your thing of course).

Some of the wank techniques work better on cut guys, and some are more suited to uncut guys. The common theme with guys is that the majority will get hard (unless there is an underlying medical condition that prevents it) after almost any type of stimulation on their cock or other erogenous areas. It’s impossible to do it wrong, only better.

In many instances arousal will happen quite quickly. Watching their response to the different techniques helps me to see which work best. If it’s not clear, sometimes I say to the guy “I love to see you wank” and then watch their technique so I know what gets them going. I can then copy this technique on them later in the massage and be sure that I’ll get a result… if you know what I mean.

In many instances with guys it’s important to slow down so that the arousal takes place over the duration of the massage. Many guys have become accustomed to rushing wanking and almost racing to climax. Sometimes this has been learned because of the stigma that has been unfortunately attached to masturbation and the fear of being caught, or just a simple lack of time. They get into the habit of “knocking one out quickly” which can be immediately satisfying but it’s often not as intense or pleasurable as an extended session done in a relaxed and comfortable environment.

With females it’s a very different situation. Almost all the female clients I have seen will generally take a longer time to reach climax than a guy. With guys it’s mostly just a physical reaction, caress their cock and there will be a result. With females it’s a lot more complicated. It’s important that they feel desired, safe and relaxed to reach climax. The arousal takes longer and is usually more a series of increases in intensity with plateaus or steps as they build to climax.

I mostly avoid any masturbation or direct touch of her clitoris until much later in the massage than I would with touching a guys cock. Once all the right conditions are in place, and she is ready then it’s possible to bring her to climax with clitoral stimulation although many times she will just enjoy the intimacy of a sensual massage without feeling the need to reach orgasm.

Common to both sexes however is that sensual massage is an opportunity to enjoy your body and immerse yourself in a seduction of erotic intimacy, which may build to a climax. An experienced and skilled sensual masseur will be able to discuss with you what you’d like to experience in the massage and will use a range of techniques and timing to help you reach your goal from the massage, whether that is an explosive climax or simply to help you explore your body and learn what it can do for you.

And of course if you book a sensual masseur to visit you in your home or hotel then you don’t need to drive 100 miles.

Relax, don’t do it, when you want to go to it, Relax, don’t do it, When you want to come…

That’s what Frankie says, or that’s what they sang back in 1983 when the song was released by the band Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Relax when you want to come, hmmm I think they were onto something! The song got banned which ensured it got played much more widely than might have been had it not been banned. A clever marketing strategy which I am sure was the intention. It’s a song about shagging which the band later admitted even though almost everyone knew it right from the release.

Even if you don’t want to come, it’s important to have opportunities in your life to relax properly. Sometimes everyday life goes well and everything lines up nicely. It’s like getting three cherries on a one arm bandit fruit machine every time the barrels spin. Other times life just seems difficult and full of what sometimes are called ‘challenges’. At those times we need an outlet to release the pressure and relax properly. I like to relax by doing yoga and exercise by swimming or running. Sometimes I do martial arts and release tension by punching and kicking a punchbag, which is very cathartic. Oh.. and did I say? The yoga is naked yoga. Naked yoga is much the best type of yoga. There’s nothing like doing happy baby pose in a room full of other naked yogis all in the same position. Not sure what happy baby pose is? Look it up…(Ananda Balasana in the Sanskrit).

My other outlet to relax is massage. I’m usually giving the massage, which I find relaxing, however in this blog I want to focus on the relaxation from receiving a massage. If you’re looking for ways to chill out and have some 100% ‘me time’ then having a sensual massage is just such an opportunity.  Lay down, let go and give yourself over to the expert hands (and other bits) of your sensual masseur….bliss!

For many of my massage clients their visit to me is their first time having a naked sensual massage. For some it’s their first time spending an hour or so naked and intimate with a guy. Because it’s a new experience for them and they don’t know me (I’m nice! But they don’t know that yet do they?) many of the clients I see are quite anxious at first. I’m not surprised by that, but it’s not exactly a recipe for relaxation. I try to overcome it by making them feel welcome, safe and reassured, and then relaxed and then aroused.  There’s many techniques and ways of doing that, some of which I cover elsewhere in this blog. However in this piece I want to focus on one specific technique that I use at the start of a massage.

I mentioned earlier that I swim to relax. Unfortunately I’m not usually allowed to swim naked at my gym so Speedos have to be worn. That’s not because they look good, it’s also because swim shorts or loose trunks tend to slow you down…theres too much drag. Speedos are streamlined. I do breaststroke and crawl and usually swim around 1km a session. The most important part of swimming properly is the ability to breath in your stroke. To swim efficiently you have to get your head in the water in the right position, which then makes it easier to get your body in the right position, and thereby reducing the drag caused by poor body position in the water. If your head is under the water (where it should be) good breathing technique is essential. Get your breathing right and you find that it falls into a pattern as you swim, breathing in deeply and then blowing out while your head is under water. This rhythmic nature of swimming breathing, the deep breaths, and the blowing out of the breath under water is calming. The deep breathing increase the supply of oxygen to the brain and it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which promotes calmness.

A similar principle applies with martial arts. Imagine a situation where you need to use the martial arts techniques you learned in the dojo. Suppose you find yourself in a fight situation….you need to use those punching, kicking and blocking techniques to defend yourself but your heart is racing and your breathing is fast and shallow which doesn’t help you to focus on protecting yourself. To fight effectively you need to be calm despite the situation. That’s why breathing techniques are taught as an integral part of the martial art training. You’ll be able to slow down your breathing, using your diaphragm to breathe deeply and get more lung capacity and oxygen to move into a composed yet relaxed state. Yoga teaches similar breathing techniques to induce a state of calm and enhance relaxation. Breathing is integral to managing your state of mind and it’s no surprise that practising breathing is an essential part of any teaching of yoga or martial arts.

Drawing on my experience of the importance of breathing in swimming, martial arts and yoga I use these techniques to reduce my clients anxiety by focusing on some breathing exercises at the start of the massage. It’s possible to quickly slow down their breathing to bring about a relaxed state….which is essential for a sensual massage. I remember meeting a new client at his apartment, let’s call him Nick. I don’t often do out calls but Nick wasn’t comfortable coming to the studio, possibly because he thought it may not be discreet (it is very discreet!), so I agreed to visit his place. Arrangements were made and at the agreed time I discreetly turned up to Nick’s 3rd floor apartment. Side note: my massage table is solid and wide, which is great, but that means it’s big and heavy which isn’t so great. There was no lift to use so I had to carry it up the 3 flights of narrow stairs. By the time I made it to his door I seriously thought about asking Nick if he’d give me a 10 minute recovery massage so I could have a rest on the table. It’s not easy to smuggle a portable massage table discreetly in to someone’s house or hotel room but I’d snuck in as unobtrusively as possible up all those stairs… until I rang his doorbell. The sound of Nick’s dog barking undid all the subtlety of my arrival unfortunately. Nick opened the door and ushered me in as quickly as possible. As I set up the table in the lounge Nick’s cute puppy dog said hello to this new visitor. The puppy was excited but Nick was nervous as we chatted about the massage and what he was looking for.  He kept saying he’d not done anything like this before and going over in detail what he wanted (and what he didn’t want), asking me what would happen when and how. I’m happy to talk in general about the massage and the main aspects but the massage loses spontaneity if we choreograph and plan it in too much detail. His questions also told me that he was anxious and needed reassurance. We agreed on a plan he was happy with and by the time I had prepared the table Nick had stripped down to his pants and his puppy seemed to have disappeared. Nick was more relaxed now and he turned away from me slipping down his pants as he adroitly mounted the table. I covered him in a towel straight away. The music started, the lights were dimmed and we were ready to begin.

I leant in close to Nick and whispered to him to take a deep slow breath in through his nose and hold it for a second before releasing it even more slowly through his mouth. We did this three times, with me doing the same, each time taking a slightly deeper slightly longer breath. By the third time Nick’s breathing was deep, slow and regular. I did some head massage which increased the sense of relaxation and I could see the tension in his shoulders and neck release. As I began to press down on his towel clad body I started to hear his breath become deeper and it sounded like he was almost snoring. That was quick I thought. Once we were almost 10 minutes into the massage he’d relaxed so much I was sure he was asleep, snoring quite loudly. As it was a 90 minute massage, I had plenty of time to relax him further and then start to become more erotic, focusing on what he’d said he was looking for. I carried on, working around his body, removing the towel, applying oil, working in some quite firm strokes on areas of tension. Usually by now someone who has fallen asleep at the start would have woken but it still seemed like Nick was asleep, certainly the snoring was as loud as ever. Time to start touching more sensitive areas….that usually brings a response. It did… he raised his bottom slightly, and his legs opened a little, but the snoring continued, which seemed strange….. “Don’t mind my puppy Jamie” Nick said over the snoring, “he’s new and this is where he sleeps, but he’s a terrible snorer”. I looked around and in the corner curled up in a basket was the sleeping puppy. “That’s OK Nick, shall I turn up the music?”.

Nick’s massage ended happily (you know what I mean…he relaxed and did what Frankie said to do) and he got out of it all that he wanted. His puppy slept and snored all through so I guess the atmosphere created was helpful to him too. I was kind of glad, I like an audience but being watched by a puppy isn’t on my bucket list.

Hello, we’re at letter S. It has to be S for Sensual doesn’t it? This is, after all Sensual Touch so S for Slippery, Slide or for Stroke is not fitting. I could do many posts using S for Sexual, Swedish Massage, Spa, Salon….but we must move on, we can’t keep letter R waiting in our journey from the Z to A of sensual massage. So it’s S for Sensual and that’s all.

In this blog post I’m answering the question I often get asked by clients, What is a sensual massage? How is this type of massage different from a Swedish massage or a salon or spa massage (see what I did there?).  Well, it’s definitely a sexy massage but not necessarily sexual. It’s also very intimate, usually done with both the client and the masseur naked, and will often end in orgasm, although it doesn’t have to. Confusing? In S for Sensual I aim to de-mystify the sensual massage, and answer the question, what is sensual massage?

The Urban Dictionary defines sensual as ‘Arousing but not entirely sexual, relating to sexual feelings without actually having intercourse’. It also says that ‘anything (doesn’t have to be sexual) that makes you feel good is sensual’. That seems to me to be a very good start of a description of a sensual massage. Maybe we need a bit more though, because a Swedish style salon massage (like one you might get in a spa or hotel) can feel good, and it isn’t sexual, so whilst it fits the definition, I’d say it isn’t a sensual massage. So what are the essential features of a sensual massage? What things should you look for in a massage offering to be sure that it’s the sensual variety? Think of this as a checklist for a proper sensual massage… if these things are on the menu, then you’re going to be served a sensual massage.

In physiology sensory stimuli such as smell, sound etc. are converted through sensory transduction in the nervous system to trigger reactions. This isn’t a scientific blog (nor am I a scientist) so I’ll just say that this means certain smells, sounds tastes and touches etc make you feel certain things, be they feelings of sexual arousal, well being, security or relaxation. Use the right stimuli and you usually get the desired result. I’m talking about the senses, all of which are present in a sensual massage…obviously…or it wouldn’t be called sensual!

Touch is obvious, we’ll dig deeper on that one later. Sight is less obvious in a sensual massage situation but it is relevant. Most of the time all you’d see while on the table is the floor through the head hole as you lay prone on the table. Turn over however and the visual aspect becomes more relevant. What you imagined whilst prone you can now see. Many of my male clients are quite visual. Much more so than my female clients. It’s definitely a male trait to be more turned on by visuals than females for whom an emotional connection is more relevant. Whether it’s in the opportunity to see themselves, and me in the mirror (always have some mirrors placed around the table), or sometimes even to watch a video of their massage, guys do like visual stimulation. I’m not talking videos of the whole massage (that’s a separate blog….M for Movies), but maybe just 30 seconds or so of a key part of the massage so to speak. If my client wants it I’m ok to film us on their phone so that they control the material. I remember one time I was filming holding the guys phone carefully so as not to cover the camera lens in oil. As things got close to the er….let’s call it ahem …’the money shot’ the phone slipped from my hand and I dropped it somewhere delicate, which sort of interrupted the moment. We played it back to see if it caught any particularly artistic shots as it fell but unfortunately not. Never mind, he got the main bit he wanted so that worked out ok…..something to watch later on back at home. On the whole I’m not keen to film the massage whilst holding a phone though because it’s almost impossible to do. I like to concentrate on the massage.

What about sounds I hear you ask?  The right music can definitely set the mood and get things going. I favour instrumentals, and classical music. One client likes to be massaged while Brahms plays which is rather lovely. I like to synchronise my movements on the table to the pace and mood of the music, for which Brahms is ideal. If you know the piece you can make each passage fit the massage rather like a film director uses music to enhance the film. It does take some practice, and doesn’t always work…especially if you select the wrong piece. I played Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture by mistake on one occasion. It’s not an ideal piece for a sensual massage. I think I had the wrong play list selected on Spotify. Once it had started I didn’t want to interrupt things to change it so I just persevered with this rousing piece becoming more and more distracting in the background. I should have just switched it but I thought I’d try and make my guys ejaculation synchronise with the canons near the end of the symphony, so I let it play on. It would have been awesome if he’d cum just as each canon boomed, what a climax. Unfortunately it didn’t work out like that and he came to soon. Not a case of premature ejaculation (he’d been on the table almost 90 minutes) but more the fault of the conductor I think. I should have been more delicate, or played a different tune.

Smell is an important sensation in a sensual massage. Some masseurs light a joss stick which fills the room with fragrance. I’m not keen on those because I don’t like the smoke. I prefer to use scented massage oil. Grapeseed oil is good oil to use in a massage because it has no smell of its own but you can add scents to it depending on your preference. Lavender is good for creating a sense of calm. I do always offer clients to use unscented oil too. Some clients I see are discreet about having a sensual massage and it’s important for them that there are no scents on their skin or hair.

Of all the senses touch is probably the most important in a sensual massage. So much emotion can be conveyed through touch. I covered some of Touch in my last blog post, T for Touch (I hope you liked it). There’s plenty more to say though because touch is like a whole language of communication. Think of different touches as different words used to convey messages. A light finger tip stroke down your inner thigh says one thing, a slap of a palm on a buttock says something else. Both are touch. Both are legitimate in a sensual massage. And it’s not just hands and fingers doing the touch. I like to use my whole body during the massage, at times just the lightest touch with my breath, at other times using my whole body weight. Sometimes my elbow, sometimes my cock. Even the anticipation of touch is enough as you trace your fingers down the person’s spine slowly and inexorably towards their bum the tension builds. I often do this standing at the head end, at the start of the massage, to signal that this is a sensual massage and I’ll go to the intimate places. Quick tip, only do it if you can be sure to reach all the way so to speak. I saw a very tall guy one time, admittedly the table was quite high but standing at the head and slowly tracing down his spine I realised about two thirds of the way down I wasn’t tall enough to reach all the way. Rather inelegantly I climbed onto the table, knees astride his head as I finished the move. Not ideal at that point in the massage (it works nicely later on for rimming).

We didn’t cover taste did we? It’s not especially relevant to sensual massage, unless you’re into some kind of unusual kink? Chocolate massage oil? There’s a thought….. it might make licking things taste less of oil.

So we covered the senses, what else is there that is an essential ingredient of a sensual massage? Does it need to be sexual? Does it include intercourse? It’s a question I’m often asked. I say it can be intimate, it can include climax and penetration but it certainly doesn’t have to. Go back to that Urban Dictionary definition… “Arousing but not entirely sexual, relating to sexual feelings without actually having intercourse”. The essence of sensual massage is that you feel entirely comfortable and relaxed in the moment, and in the presence of you masseur. Many times I find that people are looking for intimacy and connection in a massage which they may not get from sex, it being so focused on performance and reaching climax. With a sensual massage you can let go and simply enjoy the sensations of the massage without being concerned about where it may go or what may happen because there’s no pressure to perform. Each event in the massage is a natural progression, and is signalled by the masseur reading your body and guiding you on the journey of exploration. It’s the journey and not the destination that matters. And on the subject of journeys, the next letter is R. Any requests for R? Let me know….

I visited the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican last summer. It was a Roman holiday, the weather was hot and so were the people. There’s a curious mix of insouciance and style that Romans seem to pull off, even while queueing for hours to get into the Vatican’s treasures. I people watched as we queued and the time passed quickly. Once inside there’s more crowds and queues. Visiting the Sistine Chapel is an experience that you’re obliged to share with a few hundred others crowded into the surprisingly small space. You shuffle in through a narrow door, in a sort of conga-style line, getting as close to the person in front as possible without having to introduce yourself. Denied the opportunity to stand still by the need to get as many visitors in as possible everyone moves steadily through the chapel…whilst looking up to the ceiling at the wonderful frescoes by Michelangelo. The centrepiece of which is the scene from Genesis of the Creation of Adam showing the hands God and Adam reaching out to touch each other. The first touch. Yes, this post is T for Touch and we’re going right back to the beginning, to where it all started.

Of course I did marvel at the brilliance of the art, but I couldn’t avoid thinking that whilst Adam looks very hot it is a shame that Michelangelo didn’t give him larger genitalia. Compared to Adam’s body his cock and balls appear tiny. It’s like Michelangelo made a mistake, but that can’t be true. I wonder why they’re like they are? I Imagine the scene went a bit like this: Michelangelo has finished painting Adam. He’s pleased with the work and is eager to show the Pope the reclining figure of Adam with his large cock and balls lying resplendent across his thigh, as he reaches out to touch his Creator.

Michelangelo "Finally, the Creation of Adam is complete!  What do you think of it Holy Father?"  
Holy Father "Hmmm, it is bellissimo... but er, does the big guy have to be so naked? This is the Vatican, could he be a bit more decent?".  
Michelangelo "It's the Book of Genesis Holy Father, I don't think we're at the clothes part yet?" 
Holy Father "Really? Well, the old testament was never my favourite bit. Could you perhaps cover up his, er....his groin area? Maybe have the hand that isn't reaching out to God sort of covering the offending parts? "
Michelangelo "You're proposing that as his left hand touches the hand of God..... his right hand is...."
Holy Father "oh, I see, no perhaps that's not so good a suggestion. Could he maybe face the other way, so we don't see the equipment?"
Michelangelo "well...that rather messes up the composition. Plus I'm not sure it's entirely appropriate to turn your back on your Creator..... not at this point anyway. 
Holy Father "aarrgghh this is so difficult, I wish we'd just stuck with the Artex textured paint in magnolia".
Michelangelo "what if I make it smaller?"
Holy Father "make what smaller?"
Michelangelo "Adam's cock and balls. I can make it so small you won't see it from down here".
Holy Father " brilliant! Make it small and hopefully no-one will notice. You're a genius.
Michelangelo "No, I'm a sculptor"
Holy Father "Oh... and maybe once you've fixed him would you re-create the full size one in my private chambers for me? 

That’s how I think it ended up so small. Poor Eve looks very disappointed. God and a naked under-endowed Adam reach out to touch, and…according to the Catholic Church anyway, it all starts from there, a touch. Touch is the most important of sensations, and the one we feel first. Think of the new born baby that stops crying when picked up by its mother. We need touch for our well-being. It starts that way and it never stops being like that. It’s a way of communicating so much more intuitive and intimate than communication by speech or in writing.

When I’m massaging I notice how people respond to my touch in different ways depending on how and where I touch them. There are many different kinds of touch and all of them can come into play during a massage. There’s variation in pressure, as in how firm it is. Everyone has different preferences with pressure. A scale of 1 to 10 is good to assess the pressure someone prefers, with 1 being far too soft and 10 being just right. If they say it’s an 8 then I need to be a little bit firmer. Not all parts of the body need firm pressure. Light touch is best for some intimate areas, at least initially. Then there’s different strokes, mix in some long slow flowing strokes (Effleurage) with the palm of the hand, with the kneading and squeezing type of stroke (Petrissage) done more with fingers. It’s important to use a variety of touch in a sensual massage. Sometimes however clients have a definite preference for a specific type of touch.

I saw a client one time who had a very strong preference for a specific type of touch, to the exclusion of almost anything else. Let’s say he needed to be restrained on the massage table to receive this touch in the most effective way. It’s not usually necessary to tie someone to the table for a sensual massage…but this guy requested it. I’m all for client satisfaction so why not? He supplied the restraints, I supplied the rest of the experience. Things started off fairly normally with massage (except of course he’s tied down, laying in his front). Quite soon though he wanted a different kind of touch to that which I usually do in massage. No… it didn’t involve inflicting pain if that’s what you were thinking. That’s not my thing atall (although I don’t mind being on the receiving end sometimes but that’s a different story). This touch was tickle. My client wanted to be tickled as part of the massage and being tied down meant he had no choice but to submit to my tickles, adding to the excitement.

I tickled the guy for 45 minutes without stopping. I tickled his armpits, tickled his stomach, tickled his neck, his sides, his thighs, his bum, even his feet. I found tickly bits I never knew existed. The more I tickled the more he wanted, and the louder he laughed. Usually the sound coming out of the massage studio is just the music playing…maybe some loud groans and an “I’m gonna cum!” exclamation near the end. It’s often nothing too loud or distracting to any massage happening in the adjacent room. This guy was laughing so loud anyone outside must have wondered what was going on in there.

He’d turned over about half way through and having reapplied the restraints he was now laying on his back as I continued the tickling on his stomach and thighs. Our time was coming to an end so I started to play with his cock, which wasn’t yet hard. Briefly I tried to tickle with my left hand and caress his cock with my right but it didn’t work. The tickle was half hearted and the caressing wasn’t sexy. Have you ever tried to pat your head and rub your tummy simultaneously? Difficult isn’t it? The tickle / caress move is like that. I guess I could master it with practice but it wasn’t doing much for him at this point. “It’s ok he said, I’m not needing to cum. It’s been fantastic to be tickled like that….thank you so much”. I untied him and he gave me a big hug of thanks. “I just love being tickled while I’m tied down and unable to resist, you did a great job.”

My tickle client clearly got something he needed out of the session. Often these things go back to when we are small, at the beginning of our lives when our nature is formed. For him it was the touch of someone tickling him and him being unable to prevent it, like a baby being tickled by an adult. The touch took him back to that time and the feelings of security and love. Yes touch is an incredibly powerful force. Look up at the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel and see it writ large…although clearly not Adam’s cock sadly.

It’s amazing how many words we use today that were invented by Shakespeare. Undress is one of them. It was first used in The Taming Of The Shrew in around 1590. Unfortunately the context wasn’t for a massage but it’s a great word to invent. I like the word a lot, it carries so much anticipation. Let’s undress….

Normal spa style massage starts when you’re undressed (or as far as you’re allowed to go these days, you keep your underwear on throughout usually). However you don’t need to be undressed to enjoy the sight, smell, sound and taste of a sensual massage. All your senses are involved as you are slowly undressed by your masseur. Perhaps you will hear the breathing of your masseur, or their whispers in your ear. Their scent may tease your nose or you might taste their lips, fingers or ahem…other body parts. The act of undressing can be an integral part of the massage. If you have time it’s great to start with mutual undressing before you move to the table naked. I’m imagining Shakespeare writing about massaging his lover, starting with undressing. How might he have described the experience? Maybe with a Sonnet….

That he may feel my touch should be undressed?
His garb throws up for me some kind of bar.
Where cloth does but conceal his gentle breast,
Deft hands may not see through; my touch may jar.
 
And where his frame retains the full attire
No naked skin shall tap an artful palm.
How will I fill his eyes with warm desire?
With touch that swells his loins from state of calm.
 
Will softly whisper in his gentle ear 
And part his lips so sweet to taste my soul
Undress him with my words and wipe a tear
With hands that heal his hurt and make him whole
 
With every sense, he’ll feel my passion swell
While in my hands his heart forever dwell

I usually start with my massage client naked on the table, under a nice warm fluffy towel. Often I’m naked at the start too, most people seem to like that. Otherwise it can be good to start in shorts, speedos, pants or, it has been known… a wrestling singlet. Starting the massage partially clothed can add to the sense of anticipation and excitement. You may feel the touch of fabric against your hand as I massage you. Then, without you being aware I’d removed the clothing you may later feel my naked flesh brush your hand. There’s something raw and egalitarian about us both being naked. Once the oil is applied it really is best to be naked; massage oil can be a devil to get out of your clothes.

Sometimes the massage starts, as Shakespeare’s sonnet describes, with my client fully clothed. How does this work? In my experience can work really well if the undressing is done expertly. It does takes a bit of practice. I remember one guy I saw wanted to start like this, with both of us fully clothed. I blindfolded him. Here’s a tip – always have a blindfold ready, they’re great to heighten the other senses once sight is disabled. I use those free blindfolds you get if you travel up front on an airplane. I’m assuming you only travel in the premium cabin so you know what I mean, or if you happen to end up in economy due to some awful booking error, that you make friends with the crew and get a free goody bag (and their phone number). Once he had the blindfold on I started gently touching his face and head, lightly running my hands over his clothed body and whispering in his ear about what would happen in the massage. A nice erotic atmosphere was building. Some clothing can be removed relatively easily, with elegance and panache, but there are some where it’s almost impossible to get them off in a sexy way. This guy had them all….fiddly shirt buttons, too many layers, jeans so tight that I had to pull desperately to get them over his calves (delicious calves by the way). That was once I’d worked out how to undo his belt…Another tip, do the belt and trouser buttons from behind, it’s familiar to do, and you can press your groin close from behind. Everything else was off, only his socks remained, and the atmosphere was still sexy. I tried to lift his leg, to remove the first sock. It’s surprising how long it takes to get a sock off, and evidently my guy’s balance on one leg (admittedly he was still blindfolded) wasn’t long enough unfortunately. He toppled over and luckily the massage table was there to break his fall. All the erotic tension disappeared in giggles as he lifted off the blindfold bent naked over the table with one sock on and one off. All I could say was “Ok mate, hop on and we’ll begin”.

Another time, having perfected all the clothing removal techniques I’d got my guy naked, aroused and ready to lay on the table. The socks were safely off and his clothes lay on the floor around his naked body. I slowly lifted the blindfold to guide him to the table. As I did this he looked down at his clothes strewn all over the floor and said “oh, I’ll just tidy these up” and for the next few minutes he neatly folded his clothes and put them on the chair while I stood there fiddling with the blindfold. Some people can’t stand a mess, even if there’s a massage waiting for them. He was happy once his clothes were neatly folded away but it did kind of interrupt the flow. Another tip…..if he’s obsessive about order don’t remove the blindfold until he’s prone on the table. Back to the Bard….

As well as all the lovely words Shakespeare has given us, like Undress, he’s also given us wonderful sonnets, many of which he addressed to a young man, so I chose to do the same with my attempt. There’s structure, rhythm and pattern to a sonnet that rather than confining you actually gives give you freedom to be creative with the words and the sentiment within the structure. In writing it I noticed that delivering a sensual massage can be similar. There’s a structure, rhythm and pattern to a massage (including undressing at the start) that enables the masseur to be creative in the delivery and sensuality of it. That’s my take on it anyway. Is that metaphor too much? Ok, hop on and we’ll begin.

You’ve probably done those quizzes on-line which put you into two camps, you know the ones; toilet seat up or down?, pineapple on pizza OK or not OK?, spit or swallow (come on… this is a naughty blog isn’t it?). Now I have a new one for you. In my experience there are two types of people on a massage table….the quiet ones and the not quiet ones. Maybe that’s a bit extreme, there’s a few averagely noisy people in the middle I guess. However mostly from what I’ve seen…and heard… it’s very binary, you’re either vocal or you’re not. Which one are you? Don’t worry, there’s no ‘right and wrong’ answer. In this blog for letter V I’ll share some of my experiences and thoughts on being vocal on the table. So…please tell me, what side did you pick?

Yay! Good choice. You picked what makes you relaxed and happy didn’t you? That’s the best choice for your sensual massage. If you’re comfortable then you’ll probably have a better time. Feel happier talking? Go ahead and chat, make noises, groan and moan. Prefer silence? That’s cool, stay quiet and focus on your breath, enjoy the music. Oh listen…I can hear the music starting…….

His naked body lays prone on my table, music fills the room like heat spreading from an open fire as I drape a warm towel from his shoulders to his calves. Standing at his side I lean over the table, pressing my forearms firmly on his back. Slowly, I separate my arms, the left following the curve of his lower back to the top of his butt, the right pushing up towards his uncovered neck. The towel pulls tight between my arms as I bring my chest down into the gap, leaning on him, our bodies close, our breathing deep.  My right hand gently traces across the back of his neck, caressing his hairline with my finger nails. At the same time my left hand brushes across his towel covered glutes, briefly lingering and pressing between his cheeks. He squirms with pleasure, his legs parting slightly. The sensual massage spell is being created. The air latent with erotic intent. The senses heightened in anticipation. As I lift my body to begin massaging his head I hear someone say “have you been busy today?”. It’s so unexpected I couldn’t work out for a moment where the voice had come from, was it the music?. Then I realise it’s my client talking. I didn’t expect he wanted to chat….it threw me for a few seconds…what part of the body was I doing next? ….“No it’s been quiet, you’re the only person today” I reply, adding quickly “how’s the pressure?”. 

I carried on with the massage and we chatted about stuff, the weather, work, food (it’s amazing how hungry you can get while being massaged). We were at the start of the massage and so things hadn’t yet got so… y’know erotic. I learned that my guy hadn’t had a sensual massage from a male masseur before (or done much with guys at all) and he was very nervous indeed. The chat was a way of reducing his anxiety and making the situation feel more ‘normal’ just like two guys chatting over a drink in a pub. He wanted to explore his sexuality in a safe and unthreatening way so a massage, which had the potential to become more sexy or just stay as a massage depending on how he felt, was the best way to do that. We took things very slowly and he was able to relax into the massage and enjoy the intimacy with a guy without the pressure to do anything in return so to speak. As he became more relaxed he was able to talk more openly about what he wanted, and what he liked so we explored further. In those situations it’s good to talk throughout the massage and of course as things develop the discussion may naturally become more open and pertinent. In many ways it’s preferable to have such discussions before the massage but with time pressures and understandable reticence to talk so openly this isn’t always possible.

It’s not always anxiety that prompts clients to talk. Let’s say you do a job that doesn’t have much opportunity to talk to people. Maybe you just don’t get many conversations in your usual day. You enjoy a sensual massage to relax, you want some physical contact but it’s also important to you to talk with someone. Chatting to your masseur in those situations is an essential part of the experience for you. On the other hand you may have a very social job taking to people all day. The massage is then a chance to switch off from all that talk. To not articulate anything but simply soak in silence.

Overall I think that most guys I see are quiet and it is generally a male thing to not be especially vocal during massage or on reaching orgasm. A few groans and mmmmm’s perhaps but it’s rare to have someone make loud noises. With female clients I notice it’s very different. They are much more vocal especially when highly aroused and at the point of climax. Occasionally to the point where they are really quite loud and anyone in an adjacent room would be concerned at what’s going on. I recall seeing a female client in her hotel and she became very vocal and loud during the massage. I’m sure people passing in the corridor were tempted to press their ear to the door. When we talked afterwards she had little idea of what she’d said and how loud she was.

There is a biological reason for this difference between the sexes which I won’t go into here because of space but it’s good to be aware of the different motivations and reactions. Most of the communication in a sensual massage is done via touch (which is often lacking in our society) and visually, but it’s important also not to overlook the role that verbal communication plays in a massage, especially for females. Even if it’s just to ask “how’s the pressure?”.

Not Wank. Noooooo!….. that’s way too obvious and unimaginative. W is for Where, as in where do sensual massages take place? I’m talking location location location. A platform to perform on, a space to get sensual, a scene for seduction. The famous Martini ad ‘Anytime any place, any where…’ suggested you could have the drink wherever. Does it apply with sensual massage? Well, there’s good places and not so good places.

The usual location for a massage is in a dedicated studio on a massage table. I’ve done hundreds of those and it usually works sublimely. Make it a warm quiet room. Use soft lighting and set up a strong comfortable table. Definitely a strong table. I mount the table because it’s good for full body to body contact. The table needs to be able to take the weight and the rhythmic motion of two bodies sliding over each other and some …er…vigorous thrusting movements. You get the idea…

A few years ago I was helping out a friend at a massage workshop he was running. Think of a large lounge in a private apartment with 12 massage tables laid out. On each table is a towel covered naked guy ready to be massaged. Beside each table are two semi naked ladies ready to learn the art of sensual massage. The room is heavy with latent sensual energy, nervous anticipation and…y’know… some unspoken concerns amongst the guys about whether they’ll be able to perform. There’s a fair bit of competition in these situations and no-one wants to be the guy who didn’t shoot, or even the one who didn’t last the whole workshop.

Anyway, thats the scene and it’s an interesting location for a sensual massage, or 12 sensual massages to be precise. I was one of the demo bodies, lying naked under my towel. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it. You lay there while 2 Masseuses practice on you. They rotate between different guys every so often so you get to enjoy a variety of different styles. During breaks you give feedback. If the massage is good the feedback also comes in a rather more obvious way. Fortunately my trainees were good, I didn’t need to say much…they could tell.

The evening had started fairly normally (if this situation could ever be described as normal I guess). Our expert teacher had been demonstrating some opening moves at one of the tables. As as he did some energetic work on a guys back, while standing beside the table, it suddenly lurched forward and down as one of the legs collapsed. If someone had been hurt it wouldn’t have been funny but as soon as we realised there were no injuries the table failure added to the sense of fun in the room. The broken table was replaced and we all carried on. All the other tables remained firm and solid fortunately.

As the evening progressed, the lights dimmed and the massages became more erotic, there were other firm and solid things for the trainee masseuses to work on. One by one each table reached its’ climax. I remember trying to hold off as long as possible which isn’t easy when 4 hands have been working on you for the last hour and a half.

The massage workshop story shows that you don’t need a quiet uncrowded room to enjoy a good massage. As long as you’re not too shy it’s just as good in a room full of people, and especially so if you like an audience. If you’re in the zone either as giver or receiver it really doesn’t much matter what’s going on around you or where you are, you’re oblivious to it. All that matters in that moment is the connection between you and your massage partner(s).

In a private studio setting or the more public setting of a workshop or party there’s usually a proper (strong) massage table available. But what if you have no table? Does that mean no massage? No, it just means a different type of massage. If you’ve a futon or maybe a yoga mat you can still give a good sensual massage on the floor. There’s no concerns about anything collapsing is there? Carpet burns perhaps but nothing worse. Floor massage can be even more intimate. With much closer body contact it’s easier to use your whole body to massage. It can however be a bit less comfortable for the receiver because the floor is hard and it’s not easy to lie with your head down facing front. You can’t have everything.

Sometimes I do out calls to clients in their hotel. I have no concerns about waking into a hotel with my portable table but it isn’t especially easy to lug around. I’ve taken it to some exclusive London hotels without any problems. Sometimes in a hotel room there isn’t space to set up a table, although that obviously isn’t a problem in large suites. Some of my outcall clients are happy to just use the bed. That’s fine by me, although I do always offer to use the table because I think it’s a better massage than the bed.

Working on a bed is more challenging than the floor. Beds are much too soft for massage and it’s difficult to move around elegantly. I’ve accidentally knocked things off bedside tables and dislodged the headboard while trying to move around in a bed massage in the past. It’s not ideal, although is very intimate. The dynamic is different too because of the bed setting the massage might be interpreted as more of a sex session, which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s not the intention or aim of a sensual massage. It’s much better to enjoy the sensual massage on a table. If the massage develops naturally and mutually in a different direction then move to the bed.

Where’s best then? The answer to the question of ‘where?’ is less of a physical location – it could be in a crowded room, a hotel, your bedroom or a studio, on a table, on the floor or on a bed. They’re all possible. The answer to the question is where is your head? If you’re mentally ready and your comfortable with the company of your massage partner then almost regardless of the location you’re ready to enjoy a sensual massage. ‘Anytime, any place, anywhere…if you embrace it’ is the answer. Although it’s probably best to avoid anywhere you’d normally be expected to stay clothed. Being arrested wouldn’t be a happy ending.

“It’s all about you, it’s all about you, baby” sang McFly in 2005. A great song by an iconic band although it’s not something I’d play during a massage. Decent massage music is the subject of a different letter of the alphabet on a different day. I’ve had a few disasters with that but it’s for another time. Today is Y and Y is for You. All about You.

Ever had someone ask you ‘how was your week’ and then, as you reply you realise they’re not listening? Sure, they’re looking at you, nodding and smiling. “Yeah…really, wow…yeah cool…” – all the signs of listening are there… but somehow you sense they don’t much care. They’re not really engaged in your answer. You could say anything… “yes it was lovely thanks, I had dinner with your wife then we danced naked around your front garden while the neighbours cheered” …and they wouldn’t hear a word you said. It’s just a ruse they have to get you to ask the same question back so they can talk about themselves. Am I being unfair? Maybe, but we’ve all been there I’m sure. For some people it’s always all about them.

What’s this got to do with sensual massage? Fair question, here goes…. You’d like a massage? Good, you’re in the right place coming to see me. This isn’t the take away joint downstairs (my studio is above a takeaway, maybe come and get a massage and work up an appetite for a Chinese?). But what’s your motivation for it? What’s driving you to visit today? There’s lots of reasons why you’d book a massage; curiosity about being with a guy, to try a new experience, to relax, to explore, to learn, to chat about sexy stuff, for physical contact….all sorts of things are working and they’re all good reasons, I love them all. I try to understand why you’re here, even if it is just because it’s close to the takeaway, that’s cool. Understanding helps me make sure I can help you have a great massage. Sometimes you tell me in detail – “I like 12 long strokes down each leg, left one first, and the index finger of your right hand massaging my prostate for 37 seconds” which is good although it’s difficult to choreograph a sensual massage to that level…it’s best to evolve rather than be quite so planned. But I do know that with requests like that that my client is anxious and likes to know the plan. I hope that often I can work it out without too many questions, it’s good to simply feel where to go and what to do…it’s a sensual massage after all. However sometimes I just ask “so John, what are you looking for today?” “I’m here to shoot my load Jamie”. OK so I get a few smart arse clients …

Whatever you are looking for, the one thing I try to do is make sure you feel is that it’s all about you, and not in any way about me. It’s your massage and by understanding why you’re here and what you like I hope that as you lay on the table and wherever else the massage takes us…floor, shower, bed, Chinese takeaway..it is always your massage and your pleasure I’m focused on.

Unfortunately there are some masseurs who do make it about themselves. If you want a great sensual massage avoid those masseurs. It is possible to recognise the type. They’ll watch themselves in the mirror a lot. They may have a long list of things they won’t do. They might publicise the type of clients they’d prefer not to book by using implied or direct language on their website. There’s also those who make you feel like they’re doing you a favour by booking with them. I do get massages myself (it’s good for market research) and I’ve experienced some of those masseurs. I wouldn’t go back to them.

If you arrange a sensual massage it’s definitely about You. It’s your bit of ‘me’ time which everyone needs now and again. In that precious time you want someone who is totally focused on your enjoyment of the moment. In a sensual massage it’s obvious to you if your masseur is not fully engaged and focused on your needs. They should be totally absorbed in your massage, focused intently on your body and your mind, noticing your breath, your heart rate, your energy, what makes your cock twitch. They’d notice how your fingers flex when they run their nails across your shoulder, how your breathing slows when they massage your head, how your legs part as they draw their palms up your inner thighs. If they’re just going through the motions then I’m sure you’ll know. In the same way it’s very clear that your mate isn’t listening in those ‘how was your week’ conversations it is also clear in a sensual massage that your sensual masseur isn’t sensing. If that’s the case then it isn’t about you, it’s probably about them. You may get a decent massage but it won’t be a sensual massage.

Tom Fletcher wrote the McFly song as an apology to his then girlfriend because he apparently forgot Valentines Day. I guess it worked because they subsequently married. A happy ending to that story! I’m not looking for marriage (unless you’re a millionaire of course…message me with details, I’ll start the wedding arrangements) but I will do my best to make sure your massage is all about you…with a happy ending. We all like happy endings.

This post was sent to me by a follower. He’ll remain anonymous but let’s call him Tom. Tom, you know who you are. I’d like to thank you here for your fantastic contribution to my Z to A of Massage. For Tom G is for Golden.

Older guys matter

Being an older gay or bisexual man, even in today’s liberated pc world, can limit your opportunities for physical affection, touch and relief. Not only can you have body image problems and may not be able to shoot as you once did, but as your world narrows the need for intimacy is just as great. Unfortunately, true or not, its easy to get the impression that it’s inappropriate to want, let alone have, even mild sex except very privately with a long-term partner. Even then, if anyone gets to hear about it, there’s likely to be a smutty chortle.

I’ve been in a committed partnership for many years and our knowledge of and love for each other grows deeper as each year passes. But health and other issues long since made us opt for separate rooms – although we often share a double bed when in a hotel – and even though sex has slipped off the agenda, we still hug and kiss a lot, if only out of habit. Yet, there’s still the need for something EXTRA.

Now in my seventies, my lively libido shows no signs of diminishing and I know I’m not alone. It’s not hard-core stuff I need, it’s being helped to still feel alive, coming away from the experience relaxed and exhilarated. A day out. An escape. Also, as a writer, it’s great getting to know other people and how they tick and can be a socially rewarding experience too.   

Friendly sensual masseurs are a real gift 

Escorts (though they often double as erotic masseurs) aren’t the ideal way of achieving release. Not only is one conscious of the extra health risk involved but, lovely though some of them are, I get the impression many are programmed to deliver an edgier kind of service. A friendly masseur, however, is a real gift. Because I don’t want to get too emotionally reliant on any one of them, I visit, in turn several masseurs in their ‘forties’ who make me feel, even if it’s only an illusion, that they enjoy seeing me. It’s just as well that my budget only allows one massage every few weeks!  

Extra inches make the connection

I’ve tried younger ones, and they’re often charming but, understandably perhaps, unwilling to go those extra… erm …inches and make me imagine, for sixty or ninety minutes that I’m special. At the end of the day it’s a transaction. I’m not kidding myself it’s anything more – but it’s still nice if you’re able to connect.

I can tell when a masseur is put off by my years. However well-mannered, it comes across in their body language. The deciding factor is the nature of the hug and maybe kiss I get when I leave that makes me know I’d be welcome to return. ‘See you again soon’ means a lot. 

I remember when I was younger, I avoided ‘dirty old men’ in saunas and on the Heath. A pity, because, even though we no longer have trim physiques, some of us are more than just a sad old body and worth getting to know.  

Masseurs with the golden touch have helped keep me feeling young. I’m so grateful to them!

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Thank you Tom for sharing that beautiful insight. I see clients in their twenties and all ages up to those in their seventies. There’s no upper age limit for a massage, just some health requirements. G stands for Golden and I would say it also stands for Go For It. Don’t let age stop you from doing the things you like. Go for it!

X got me thinking about the days when adult movies had an X rating awarded by the film classification authorities. What a great job that would be, watching all the movies to decide if they’re naughty enough for an X. I wonder where the line is between X and ‘not X’? A downward hanging semi is ok but if he goes beyond horizontal it’s an X? Tough job. The X rating has long gone now. Different classifications are used these days and generally I think that things have become much less restrictive. However it seems that the ‘X’ prefix is still used to signify there’s going to be hot action on view. I’m thinking of things like the Xtube.com site which hosts professional and amateur porn.

When I browse through Xtube there’s all sorts of different themes for almost every taste. Whatever porn you like is available; into Latino cross dressers fucking in public? No problem it’s there for you. Someone somewhere is creating it and someone somewhere is watching it. We’re all voyeurs or exhibitionists now, and some are both depending on their mood. The exhibitionists are making porn and posting it, the voyeurs are consuming it and the tube sites and similar have given everyone the ability to reach an audience. That’s fantastic.

An even better job than the deciding the X rating on films is the job of being in or making pornos. I’ve not done any porn professionally but have done loads of amateur shoots that are available online. In case you hadn’t already worked that out …I love performing on camera, or for an audience. Most of the sexy movies I’ve done are massage themed porn. Some of it is on Xtube but most of what I’ve been in is on a great site called sensualmassagemovies.com. I can’t now remember how I found out about the sensual massage movies site and the possibility of performing but somehow I’ve ended up doing dozens of them. No idea how that happened…However I can remember going along first time to the filming location (a cool riverside apartment) and feeling scared but horny. I’d applied on line and sent in some pictures and stats, expecting to hear nothing back because I’d convinced myself I wouldn’t be suitable. Then, after an exchange of texts with the guy from the site I found myself standing outside the apartment with a semi in my pants nervously hesitating to ring the bell…

I pressed the bell and …around two hours later I’d had a great massage and shot a cum everywhere as I knelt on the table while the fit masseur expertly worked my cock to orgasm. The whole session was filmed by the cameraman which really turned me on, especially because he was hot too. I’d been fretting about whether I’d be able to get hard on cue and to make the ‘money shot’ as it’s supposedly called once the camera was running. No chance, even before the camera was on I was hard. It was quite difficult to lay face down on the massage table. And when the camera guy said go for the money shot I managed to hit the cue. It must be an exhibitionist thing because I’ve done dozens of movies now and never had trouble getting hard or shooting at the right time.

Making the massage movie is how I got into being a masseur but that’s a different story for a different letter. Now when I’m making X rated massage movies I’m usually the the masseur rather than the recipient. Although as the movie progresses the roles of masseur and massaged tend to blur because they become very interactive. In my work as a masseur I never make any movies with clients who book a massage. Client bookings are totally private and discreet. I can’t be thinking about camera angles and lighting etc while concentrating on a client’s massage. However I do film with volunteers who are keen to be in a movie (with or without showing their face). These movies are shot at a different location to my client massage studio because we can set up studio lights and different camera positions at the filming location. It keeps things separate.

I think X rated massage movies are definitely a sought after genre of porn. Everyone who’s been for a massage in a spa or hotel has fantasied about the masseur going a bit further than usual haven’t they? A decent X massage movie starts out like a spa massage and builds up to X rated action just like you fantasied about at your last spa massage. Maybe if you’ve enjoyed watching a massage movie you might also want to volunteer to be in one yourself? If the thought of that just caused a stirring down there then I think that might be your answer. Ask me for the details. It can be arranged. Jamie X

Ok so Zoo has no obvious connection with massage, nor does Zodiac or Zebra. So allow me a little leeway in going for Zzzzzz, the universally recognised onomatopoeia for sleep (and snoring).

‘Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care…’ as Macbeth said on returning after murdering King Duncan. Macbeth may well have benefited from having a sensual massage after the murder, to calm his nerves and help him sleep, or maybe just to get away from Lady Macbeth for a while (she seems the sort you might like to avoid at times). However, I don’t advocate that you visit me for a massage after committing regicide. Perhaps give it a few days to let the dust settle?

What I do recommend is if you’re finding your sleep is poor or shallow then sometimes a relaxing session of sensual massage may help you get a good nights rest and take your mind off any late Scottish Kings or hectoring partners that are troubling you.

It is well established that massage promotes relaxation and sleep in those who are stressed. Massage stimulates the release of hormones such as dopamine and serotonin which increase relaxation and reduce pain. Massage also reduces stress by decreasing heart rate and levels of cortisol hormone. That’s very briefly the science. Does it accord with what I’ve seen and heard from my clients?

Yes i think it does! I’m regularly told by clients that they slept well after a massage or indeed some even sleep during the massage, albeit briefly near the beginning of the session when things are gentler and slower. Sensual massage is intended to relax you of course but also to arouse and build to a climax. Sleep may feature at the start but quite quickly you’ll be aware of a stirring ‘down there’ as things become more erotic. As the massage develops in intensity the last thing on your mind will be sleep.

My massage usually starts with some deep breathing to slow down my client’s breath and help calm the mind. After some establishing touch on their body and legs I begin with a head massage. Most people are happy to have their head massaged and it certainly seems to bring about deep relaxation. Sometimes the release of tension in the body, especially in the shoulders is visible as I work the head and neck. So begins the process of deeper connection between masseur and client.

I do recall a client who after about 15 minutes into the massage began snoring (those Zzzz again) quite loudly. He was very clearly asleep and it momentarily went through my mind ‘what do I do if he sleeps all way through?’

He’d booked 90 minutes and, during the booking chat had been quite specific about what he wanted, and it wasn’t a 90 minute afternoon nap. How was I going to get my cock in his mouth as requested if he’s deep in the land of morpheus? Is it appropriate to change the music from background massage tunes to heavy metal? Do I even have that on my playlist?

Fortunately he seemed to wake as I started to move into a more vigorous section of the massage. I need not have worried about meeting his requests because after a while he was enjoying testing out his lack of gag reflex…which I was quite impressed with. After we’d finished he did say that he was fully asleep at the start, after having been a while in that wonderful twilight between awake and asleep where you slip to the edge of consciousness like a snowflake melting on a window. He’d said he’d had a busy day and the massage was so calming at the start that he had just dropped off in a most welcome way. So in the end all was well and he left very happy, and to a good nights sleep.

Spoiler Alert! Macbeth doesn’t have a happy ending (I’m sure you know that but just in case…..). I think he should have availed himself of a sensual massage before embarking on his bloody bid for the throne. It might have chilled him out. Lady Macbeth too…I do couples massages, they’d both have been most welcome. They’d have got a happy ending, and a good nights sleep Zzzzzzzzz. Duncan would have slept well too I guess. But the play would have been very boring indeed.