Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

E is for Edging

E is for Edging

Hello, do you remember that scene in the original The Italian Job movie where the coach full of gold hangs over the edge of the cliff? One slight wrong move and over it goes, spilling the gold all over the valley floor. That iconic scene was a literal cliff hanger finale to the movie…That’s the ending spoiled for you isn’t it. I normally provide happy endings rather than spoiled endings. Sorry about that.

 

Ok, so why do I mention that scene? Well, I watched the movie again recently and it reminded me about a time a couple of years ago when I visited a guy in London who shoots a certain type of porn film for his fans site. We planned to film together. Think: OnlyFans, nudity, cocks and cum, it’s that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the session didn’t go too well. It was quite an awkward encounter which happens occasionally when filming if the chemistry isn’t there. I sensed it as soon as the guy opened the door. Let’s call the guy Sam because that’s not his name.

 

You know when you first meet someone and there’s something in their eyes and their reactions that says they’re a bit disappointed in what they see? Have you ever had that? Like when your food turns up at a restaurant and it’s not what you expected. You can’t hide your disappointment but you kind of hope it will taste ok, so you go along with it…in an ‘OK, perhaps dessert will make up for the main course let down’ kind of way. It was that sort of situation with me and Sam.

 

The meeting was in that dead time between Christmas and New Year.  I’d been talking to Sam on-line about meeting up for a session and I guess we both had nothing much else to do in the interregnum, so we set up the filming date. I turned up at Sam’s place and as he opened the door I saw that look of ‘oh, you’re not what I expected’ flicker across his eyes. Of course his mouth said “Hello James come in, how are you?”. And I said “Hi Sam I’m great, it’s good to meet you” while thinking ‘Whoops, he doesn’t like me’. In this way uneasy encounters begin.

 

Inside his apartment the awkwardness continued and we made small talk by discussing the weather. This is what English people do when there’s a lot of other more important things to talk about but no-one has the ability or inclination to raise them. There was no particular weather that day. It was one of those bland ‘non-weather’ December days but we talked about it anyway because it was easier than discussing our mutual disappointment. And in this surfeit of politeness we went ahead with our plans. And the plan was to film Sam edging me to climax for him to post on his OnlyFans website. How lovely.

 

You might have guessed by now but this instalment, for letter ‘E’ in my Z to A of Sensual Massage is about Edging. As in masturbating yourself (or, as in this case someone else) almost to the point of climax and keeping at that point as long as you can before you ejaculate. Or even not ejaculating atall which is perhaps surprisingly even more fun.

And as I sat in Sam’s edging chair, blindfolded, with my arms tied behind my back (to prevent any impromptu self-pleasuring…) with my cock being caressed, I couldn’t stop thinking of that coach full of gold on the edge of the cliff….almost but not falling, as I hovered on the edge of climax, almost but not cuming.

 

The plan of course was for this to go on, and on, and on until I assume Sam got bored or I couldn’t hold off any longer. In my blindfolded state, for all I knew he could have been reading a book while playing with my cock with his spare hand. We could have filmed for hours. He was good at it, sensing when I got close and backing off before building up the intensity again. I guess he’d done a lot of edging given that this was his work. Interesting job isn’t it?

 

I think edging is a skill on the part of the edger, but also on the part of the edgee (if that’s a word? My spellcheck seems to think it isn’t but I want to stick with it. I like inventing words). The edger gives the edging and the edgee receives it. As the edgee I felt a responsibility to try and hold off as long as I could, at least initially.

 

Let’s leave me there with my cock lubed up in Sam’s expert hands while we talk Sensual Massage for a minute. Don’t worry, we’ll get back to the filming scene soon enough. I’d just like to make the connection to sensual massage for that’s the point of the Z to A isn’t it. When I’m doing a sensual massage, I like to think of it in part as an exercise in edging, and in these instances of course I’m the edger and my client is the edgee.

 

Some clients are highly aroused even before we start the massage, and almost any touch on a sensitive part of their body might be that trigger that tips the coach full of gold off the cliff so to speak. If you’re that excited at the start of the massage it’s quite difficult to delay things to later in the massage. There’s a risk of climaxing before you want to.  

 

I have a couple of solutions to this. The first involves accepting the situation and simply  enjoying a happy start to the massage. Having climaxed at the start (with my help of course) my client can then relax, enjoy the massage and depending on how things go, they may also enjoy a happy ending. It’s like a James Bond movie (while we’re on the theme of movies); a big set piece start and a big set piece ending, with lots of interesting diversions in the middle. I should call it a James Bond session shouldn’t I?

 

The other solution is to start the massage very slowly. Head (or scalp) massage is a great relaxer and works for this slow start style. I’d cover my client in a towel, keep my shorts on, and start with some relaxing massage on their scalp and neck. It takes the heat out of the situation a bit before we start to build it up again later in the massage. The movie metaphor for this style is Jaws. Everything’s calm at the start, but the end is explosive as the big shark gets blown to bits. You know what I mean? That session style can be called the Jaws session.

 

Oh and I use a rating system. Let me tell you about that before we go back to Sam and me. Usually I can tell if someone is close to climax but should I miss the signs I sometimes ask my client to say “7” if they’re close but not beyond, the point of no return. It’s easier to say “7” than “I’m close!”.

 

I tell them it’s like a scale of how turned on they are. 1 is not turned on atall (like your least sexy situation), 2 is a little bit turned on, 3 is starting to get aroused etc. and crucially 7 is the point just before climax where it’s still possible to go back to a 6 rating (or less). 7 is that point where the coach on the edge could still tip back to the road. By the time you’re at 8 on the scale it’s too late, the coach is going over and it can’t be stopped. At 9 it’s gone over and is falling and 10 is when it hits the ground.

 

So should my massage client say “7” during the session then I know I can stop whatever I’m doing and pull them back to a nice 6 or 5….If they leave it too late and are at 8 then it’s best for me to keep going and make it a great 10 if you know what I mean. Explode that shark. This is edging….keeping someone at 7 for ages. It’s a skill.

 

OK, let’s go back to my session with Sam. We’d been going a short while and I felt somehow that he was going through the motions. It was nice, I’m not denying that, but I’ve had better. Maybe he’d had a bad day or more likely just wasn’t into me. I was still irritated by his reaction when I had arrived so I wasn’t in the best frame of mind to be edged for another half hour or so either.

Naughtily I thought ‘OK, if I’ve disappointed him by coming today then I’ll just have to disappoint him again by cuming’. So I stopped resisting the urge to shoot and just let it go. I went from 6 to 8, or shall we say my coach full of gold went over the cliff. We hadn’t been filming for long…and as I let it go he said “oh… you came” in a surprised but not convincingly disappointed tone (maybe he was glad?). “You’re too good” I lied as my cock softened.

 

I had my release… but the film we shot never got its’ release. I guess he canned it because it ended too soon and you can’t really put out a highlights of an edging movie can you? It kind of misses the point. I guess we should have done an Italian Job ending and left me on the edge.

 

The next instalment in the Z to A of Sensual Massage is D. I’ve a few ideas….but yours are always welcome, please send me your thoughts. Thanks for reading.

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

F is for Feet

Hello, I want you to walk on my naked body with your bare feet. I want to feel the exquisite press of your feet on my back as I lay before you. I want to feel your feet rubbing against my thighs, and to bear the hard roundness of your heels when they press into my butt cheeks.

I ask you to walk, so very slowly inch your way up to the top of my back. And when you eventually reach my shoulders, you’ll pause to allow me to take your full weight through one foot at a time. Shifting your weight from leg to leg I want you to squeeze your big toe over my shoulder blade each side.

Then I want you to stand either side of my head where I will turn my face and lick your toes and kiss your ankles. As you stand at my head I’ll see, smell and taste you. When I turn over onto my back I want you to rub my cock with your oiled up soles, and then by grinding and squeezing my erect hard cock between your feet you will bring me close to the edge of climax.

I must worship your feet throughout the massage…. and one important thing, please don’t wash your feet before we start. I want them fresh out of your socks, the long red socks. I have dreamt of this for ages, I’m desperate to make it real. Is this possible for me please, and what’s the price?

Welcome to instalment F of the Z to A of Sensual Massage. I assume you have guessed from the message above that F is for Feet (or I suppose it could also be for Fetish). Feet or Fetish, you choose.

That long message that I received does make a change from “hi, fuck me now” which is the kind of message I sometimes get at 3am on a Saturday morning from prospective clients. Those messages get ignored.

This message however wasn’t ignored. How could I ignore such a detailed and, I have to say quite unusual wish list, or as it’s probably more accurately described an order of service. I don’t often get such detailed requests for a massage, let alone a rather niche massage such as that which my guy had requested.

This request appeared to be from a new client. I read it again to make sure it was definitely for me. Yes, it was completed using the contact form from my website, it’s definitely for me.

I sat back to consider the request. First….is this possible?Anything is possibleI told myself. It’s a maxim I like to espouse when in doubt. Yes, anything is possible, but is it practical? Could I walk up someone’s back inch by inch without breaking their ribs? Would I slip off given that massage is oily? Can I stand with my weight on one leg and wiggle my big toe? Yes I can as it turns out, I can do that….(you just stood on one leg and wiggled your toe didn’t you?). Is it actually possible to make someone reach orgasm by wanking them with your feet? So many questions…

I’ve used many parts of my body on cocks, with very successful outcomes most of the time but never yet used my feet to ‘finish him off’. Probably the best way is to sit between his legs, facing him and use the soles of my feet to wank his cock. I’d need to use oil or lube. I started to wonder whether he was cut or not, and how big it was since these would influence my technique. I was slowly building the choreography of this specialist massage to enable me to answer his “is this possible” question with a ‘yes’.

The question for me though, even if it is possible, is “do I really want to do this”? Can I get into having a guy worship my feet during the massage? Feet never do it for me, they’re not a turn on. I’m not against them, they have their place in the list of sexy bits of the body…but that place for me is quite low down, appropriately I guess.

I do like massaging feet because I know it feels nice having your feet massaged but my cock isn’t swelling at the thought of a nice pair of size 11’s with strong arches….do you know what I mean?

There’s some things I just can’t ‘get’; modern art, jazz music and people who get turned on by feet. Call me a philistine (that’s F for Philistine OK?) but I don’t get most of the modern art. You know the sort of thing I mean….a pile of random stuff with the title “a study of consumerism” or some paint splashes that seem to be done by kid in nursery school. I don’t get that stuff and I don’t get turned on by feet. That’s just the way it is…

Some people find feet really sexy. They suck the toes, they kiss the ankle, they fetishize the foot. And that’s what it is really, it’s a fetish. In the same way any sort of fetish develops, it’s an association that was formed in childhood usually, and it made such an impression that it has stuck. So it’s not the foot that’s sexy as such, it’s the association of the foot with the intense situation from the past that triggers the sexual desire. In that sense I totally understand his request, and so the question for me is can I help this guy with his dream?

I do know that I don’t like my own feet. If I’m doing a massage filming session then I’m self- conscious about only one thing, my feet. It’s why I try to wear socks if I’m doing a movie. I just feel more comfortable with my feet covered up. The rest of me being naked is fine….just don’t show the feet! They’re size 11 by the way, in case you were wondering. Perhaps that suggestion that feet size and cock size are correlated may be true?

But now I’m being asked to use my feet as an integral part of the massage. It’s definitely a challenge for me and I need to go back to the client with an answer, but I don’t know what to say.

I needed advice, so I talked to a friend who does similar work to me. He’s more of an escort I guess but it’s not a lot different to doing sensual massage. He’s usually got good advice. Our conversation went something like this:

Me “I got a request for a foot massage….(and I show him the e-mail…which he reads impassively).

Escort Friend (EF) “take it, what’s the problem?”

Me “not sure I can do it. I’m not into feet”

EF “does that matter? Quote £500, see what goes”

Me “is that what you’d charge?”

EF “yes, fuck included”

Me “I don’t think he wants that, just a foot massage with a foot wank ending”

EF “still £500” (My friend is fairly laconic).

Me “you’re not helping! I need advice, I can’t charge £500 especially if it becomes a poor foot massage because I can’t get into it”

EF “you always get into it” 

 

I should add here that I’ve done sessions with my escort friend for clients who wanted two guys and he knows me well, I do always get into it but this one seemed different. Maybe it was the intensity of the request, maybe the detail, maybe my dislike of my feet. But this one was making me doubt I could do it.

Our conversation continued:

EF “you got into the piss massage didn’t you” [see the Post K is for Kinky]

Me “it was hot”

EF “piss is always hot”

Me “well warm actually…”

EF “smart arse….give him to me, I’ll do it”

Me “no he specifically wants me, plus you’re a bottom”

EF “so he wants fucking?”

Me “no he didn’t ask for anything like that, but if he does you can’t do that can you?”

EF “I can if the price is right”

Me “OK I decided, I’ll do it but I’ll tell him it’s not my usual area of expertise so it might be a bit experimental”

EF “that’s lame, just say yes and tell him the rate”

Me “OK, yes I guess so, thanks”

 

Sometimes it’s good to get a bit of perspective, even if your mate is a bit blasé about the situation. He put it into perspective for me; I’m just making my client’s wish come real and if I can do that in other situations then why not this one? 

I guess you’d like to hear how it went wouldn’t you? Did I slip off him as I walked slowly up his body and end up with a sprained ankle? Did he really want a foot wank and what were the positions that enabled that? Did he lick my feet as I stood at his head? Did I even manage to take my socks off? Maybe I bottled it and passed him onto my friend to fulfil the role?

Well, I did go back to the client, with: “Hello, yes I’d love to do all that for you, no problem at all. [Edit. – that’s not true is it?] An hour will be £140, 90 minutes £190 at my studio, outcall rates may be higher depending on your location. Let me know where and when you’re looking for and I’ll confirm the booking”.

Then… nothing came back….I had no response. He just disappeared. All that debate and over-thinking for nothing! He didn’t even reply and say it’s too expensive or that he’d changed his mind. There was simply no response. And do you know what?….I was rather disappointed.

Next letter in the Z to A of Sensual Massage is E. I’m thinking it will possibly be E for Etiquette. Including how to book, what to do before and at your appointment and, if my foot massage client is reading, how to let your masseur know that you didn’t want to proceed.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

H is for Hair

Esau was a hairy man and his brother Jacob was smooth. They had a falling out over something or other and it all went wrong…with some serious repercussions apparently. That’s how big an issue body hair is eh?

You might know the story of Isaac and his sons Esau and Jacob from your schooldays religous education classes. If you don’t, it’s in the Bible in the book of Genesis somewhere. Don’t worry, this isn’t a sermon blog….I won’t be making deep and meaningful insights using biblical references in a piece about sensual massage. However, regular readers may now realise that I like to mix in an eclectic range of references to my stories… so why not some biblical stuff on this occasion?

I don’t remember much of the story details because I didn’t pay attention in those classes. My religious education teacher was a bigot who I disliked intensely (it was mutual). I therefore paid little attention to him. However, one thing I do remember vividly from his lessons was when he said Esau was a hairy man and Jacob was a smooth man.

After these salacious details about the brothers were revealed all I could think about was hairy men and smooth men. My mind generated so many questions; How hairy was Esau? Was his bum hairy? His back? What colour was the hair (it was red apparently). And Jacob’s smoothness, was it all over? Did he shave it or go for a wax? Did the waxing guy do a crack sack and back job for him? What was such a procedure called in those times? A Judean? 

All of these very legitimate questions were left unanswered by the bible, which is quite disappointing. Theologists might say that all the answers are in there if you look for them…. so if you can find me a reference to Jacob’s back, sack and crack waxing, and in particular what it was called, I’d love to hear from you.

I daydreamed of the brothers for the rest of the day. Imagining them naked of course. How else are you supposed to consider them? I do remember drawing them naked (they were naked, not me) in the next class. This would have been fine for an Art class…. unfortunately for me it was a Physics class and my drawings were not appreciated.

The story of the brothers came back to me when I had a WhatsApp message recently from a potential massage client. His message started fairly normally…

Client “Hi”

Me “Hi” (I like to respond with the same greeting, so ‘hi’ gets ‘hi’ …and I guess ‘yo man’ would get ‘yo man’ even though it’s probably a bit too familiar if we haven’t yet met?).

Client “love your site” (referring to my website).

Me “thanks …smiley emoji” 

Client “I’m looking to book a massage” (good…he’s quickly getting to the point….I do like clients to get to the point quickly. Just ask, don’t be coy. Perhaps I should do an article on booking etiquette? What do you think….E for Etiquette?).

Me “great ok, when were you thinking of?”

OK for the sake of brevity (and because it isn’t very interesting) I’ll spare you all the back and forth messages to fix the massage details. 

Oh… and thankfully no dick pics were sent to me during the exchange. Trust me I’ve seen thousands of dicks up close and personal so to speak. Your dick may be wonderful, it may be your best friend and go everywhere with you but I don’t need to see it to book a massage. Honestly I don’t. It’s not one of those I’m not a Robot tests that proves you’re human….’tick all the squares that contain cock’…. Sorry, that’s more about booking etiquette isn’t it? Hmmm that’s definitely a theme I could work up. 

Let me share something pertinent with you at this point….doing sensual massage work you do become sensitised to clients who are anxious about something when they book. It’s a sixth sense that kicks in whether the client books via WhatsApp or text or phones me. I can usually tell if there’s something they want to raise… but are reluctant to say it for some reason. 

Maybe a few clients are anxious about asking for things because they think the request might offend me. That’s kind, but I really don’t get offended by any request. I’d prefer you ask. If it’s something I won’t or can’t do I’ll just say so. 

With this particular client I sensed there was an issue that he wanted to raise…but hadn’t yet done so. The massage was booked and I was ready to say “see you on the xxxx etc” to close the conversation but I asked him if there was anything else he wanted to ask or request. Sometimes you have to prompt things.

Then came his concern; “I’m quite hairy, is that OK?”.  ‘Ah‘ I’m thinking….’I was correct, there was something troubling him. Glad I prompted it‘.

So I replied: “No problem, it’s fine. All I need is that you’re free of any conditions that are contra-indicators for sensual massage” (and I listed these out…). 

“I’m ok I have none of those, but I am very hairy…look..”.

Then a pic came through in the chat. Not a dick pick, thankfully, but a pick of the guy’s torso. It was, as he said, very hairy. Evidently, I had Esau coming to see me. 

I reassured him again that being hairy wasn’t a problem and he seemed ok with that. So the massage was booked. I made a note in my diary: ‘Esau, 90 minutes’.

I believe that there’s a perception that hairy guys can’t have massages. It’s like they’re not allowed by some unwritten rule. This perception may exist because a lot of pictures and videos of massage show smooth hairless bodies being massaged. A similar perception exists among big guys (it’s mostly guys, I don’t think female clients feel the same…and before you comment I’m not meaning hairy females! I mean big females….). Again this is because most pictures of massage show slim people.

I think this perception needs to be challenged. Massage is for everyone, hairy or smooth, fat or thin. Ok, maybe there is an upper limit on size, which is dictated by the massage table….you do need to fit on it. Despite the myths that those pictures and videos perpetuate, you don’t need to be smooth and slim to have a massage (nor do you need to be young for that matter). And I’m talking about sensual massage…you know, the one where we’re naked and it’s erotic, in case you weren’t sure. Everone is welcome.

Let’s get back to Esau, my hairy client. His real name wasn’t Esau unfortunately. Wouldn’t that have been awesome? But we will call him Esau because it’s apt and his real name shall remain confidential.

Esau visited me at my studio. This is going back a few years to a studio I used to use which was a very large room, with a bed, a massage table and plenty of space to move around.  It even had an en-suite bathroom. Very convenient.

When Esau arrived I did my usual welcome chat and then he stripped down to his underwear bef0re going in the shower. He wore white silky loose boxer shorts.  I could see he was indeed even more hairy than had appeared in the picture he’d sent when he booked. He had dark black hair (which can appear to be thicker than it is because of the colour). I noticed it was all over; legs, back, arms, chest…everywhere I could see. The white silky pants were not yet removed so for now the jury was out on the bum and crotch, but I guessed these would be just as hairy as the rest of him. I showed Esau to the shower and asked him to come out with a towel around his waist when he was done. 

“You sure its ok?” he asked again as he dried himself after the shower. 

“It’s all ok, don’t worry, you just lay down,relax and enjoy yourself” I replied. I really wanted him to relax. It’s important to let go in a sensual massage; if you’re worried about something or distracted then you might miss out on some of the relaxation benefits.

Let’s step away again from Esau for a few seconds. Leave him to get comfortable on the table while you and me explore all about letting go. You know what I mean…giving over to your masseur and forgettting all your daily life duties for a while.

Everyone comes to a massage with all sorts of things going on outside of the massage room. Issues around work, money, relationships, body image, general anxiety….all of these concerns we carry around in our head all day. That’s life isn’t it?. But they’re not just thoughts alone, they also manifest themselves physically, in tension in lots of places on your body. It happens without you realising it…until someone points it out. Ever notice that after a difficult day that you’re clenching your jaw? that your neck is stiff? your shoulders are tight? Is it like that now? What’s on your mind?

I know that everyone who walks in my massage room has these things going on in their head, whether or not they mentioned it like Esau did regarding his concerns over his hair. What we should try to do for the hour or so of your massage is that I help you to let all those hassles slip away. And as they retreat in your mind the tension you’re carrying around associated with those anxieties can also be released. It’s a physical and a mental massage.

Because of this it’s no good me working on the tension in your neck or shoulders straight away. It’s likely that your mind is still thinking about stuff as you lay down on my table. Your muscles will probably be too tight if your mind is still busy. So we start the massage a little differently to what you might get in a spa.

The trick to slow down your mind is all about breathing. I noticed that many of the things I learned, whether it’s from teaching swimming or doing martial arts and yoga is that the starting point to controlling your thinking about the practice is with your breathing. Manage your breathing and your mind is able to slow down and focus on what’s happening in that moment. Once your mind is focused and calm your body follows. Something so elemental and basic as breathing is fundamental to getting mind and body aligned, isn’t that cool?

So the first thing I ask you to do in the massage is focused breathing. You and me take deep long breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth. Yes I do it too, it helps me to focus on the massage. By consciously breathing like this you start to slow down everything else, your heart rate and your thoughts. Now you’re ready for a massage….

Let’s get back and see how Esau is. He’s laying on the table and I covered him with a nice warm towel. I begin the massage… with the breathing as I just mentioned, and with some head massage. But I noticed that Esau’s breathing is shallow and still too fast. I hold his hand and whisper “relax, just breath and enjoy Esau”. We do some more deep breathing and he’s starting to relax properly. 

I had prepared for this massage because with guys who are hairy you need lots of oil. So I had an extra bottle warmed up ready. Hair absorbs oil, therefore I use plenty of it on hairy guys. At this point I should say I hadn’t seen his crotch area because he’d had his back to me when he got on the table. I was still unaware of whether he was hairy down there. His bum was fairly hairy though, so it was probably similar on the ‘other side’ so to speak.

The time came for him to turn over. Most of the massage is done with my client laying prone. Only in the last quarter do I ask them to turn over turn over. As Esau turned I got a surprise. He was totally smooth down there…..there was no pubic hair atall. I’d seen his balls from behind and they did look quite smooth but I was surprised that his cock and pubic area was a smooth as….well, as smooth as his brother Jacob. His chest and stomach were hairy but there was none atall down there in the groin area. 

After the massage had ended I checked in with him to make sure he’d had a good time, although I needn’t have checked because the evidence of it was all over my hands and his chest.

“How are you Esau, was it OK?” I asked.

“Fantastic, thank you” he murmured, still in that post orgasm fug.

Once he was cleaned and sitting up on the table I was anxious to ask him about his smoothness down there….but I didn’t know how to ask. I think he sensed it. 

“I guess the hair didn’t matter” he said grinning. Then he added  “I had shaved my cock and balls and was going to trim all over but then after we spoke and you said it didn’t matter I decided not to trim anywhere else.

“Ah ok yes” I said “I just use a bit more oil and it’s fine but I hadn’t expected that you’d be smooth down there. It surprised me” 

“I had thought about getting an all over waxing but it was expensive” he said.

“If I was you I’d save my money, you don’t need a Judean and it’s extremely painful!” I said.

He looked at me confused…”A what….a Judean?”

“Oh, sorry did I say a Judean….sorry I meant a Brazilian, don’t know where that came from” I added.

Moral of the story: keep your Biblical flights of fancy to yourself Jamie…. (at least I didn’t call him Esau). And the lesson of the story…as it’s a Bilblical theme: Esau was a hairy man and hairy men can have a great sensual massage.

 

 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

Part two I for Intimacy

I For Intimacy, Part Two

OK as promised, here’s more Intimacy, or more I for Intimacy let’s say. In Part 1 here…I for Intimacy I talked about how a sensual massage can help someone re-awaken their ability to enjoy sexual intimacy. In this Part Two I want to expand on that and explain how it can improve your sex life. We like the idea of that don’t we? OK let’s talk about improving our sex life.

But first! ….….gas engineers. I had to re-start my gas boiler recently because it had gone out for some reason probably to do with it being middle of winter and damn cold. I’ll be frank with you; I was quite upset that I managed to re-start it without any help. The prospect of having to call a gas engineer to visit was appealing given how dull things are these days during lockdowns. My over fertile imagination had one of those porn film scenarios playing out once he’d arrived….”sorry I can’t fire up your boiler but if you need me to get anything else going….”. OK enough of that gas engineer diversion, sorry.

Getting back to the subject of Intimacy, and since I mentioned the idea of calling in a professional, I have some work for you to do. Please have a think about all the important areas of your life where you’ve been taught or had some training from a teacher, a professional or an expert. Here’s some help to get you started: ‘driving‘, think of things like that. Take a minute and note down the first five or six things that come to you….don’t overthink it though, be quick.

I’ll get a coffee while you’re doing that……

OK, are you done? I guess you’ve gone back to your time in school or college perhaps. Maybe you have written down; reading, writing, maths, driving (I gave you that one…), cooking (maybe?) and of course in your field of work… whatever that is…are you a gas engineer? I bet you had training for your work didn’t you.

Yes, for many important things in life, there’s some training, or if there’s not any formal training there are easily accessible guides to help you (thanks Youtube!). Usually there’s an expert to ask for help.

But wait…I wonder how many of you had sex (or sexual intimacy) on your list of important things? I bet that not many of you listed that down because there’s not much formal or expert training for sex and sexual intimacy is there? This extremely important aspect of life (indeed it is fundamental to the creation of life) seems to have no training or expert help. We are just left to learn by trial and error.

I’m fairly sure that you didn’t have any formal practical sex training at school, did you? Perhaps like me, you learned the basic mechanics of sex in school but not much else about it. I’m thinking back to the classroom with the embarrassed biology teacher explaining how animals reproduce, and adding “oh and by the way people do it in a similar way”.

There was definitely nothing on sexual intimacy, having sex for fun, or how to give good fellatio… unless you had an extremely enlightened teacher. Maybe if you’re lucky they talk a bit about relationships and respect in a wider sense, but that’s all. There’s definitely a lacuna in our education around such things as sexual intimacy and relationships, and it needs to be filled.

Maybe you watched porn when you were younger to find out about sex. I think that porn isn’t such a good way of learning about sex. I mean, you didn’t learn to drive a car by watching Formula One did you?

I’d argue that porn is not a great tool to use if you want to be better at sex, and sexual intimacy. What you see in the final edit misses out a lot of the ‘build up’ and the bits that the producer considers aren’t sexy enough to include. Often I think it focuses too much on penetration and a kind of ‘rush’ to get to the climax.  

I’ve made some semi amateur porn in the past and the whole experience is not especially sexy. The room is full of cameras and lights, you’re trying to keep your leg or arm out of the way of the close up, you’re thinking about how long you can keep up a position, and then you have to deliver the ‘money shot’ at the right time. All of this after stopping and starting a few times for various reasons including on one occasion I remember because one of the actors got cramp in his leg.

When it comes to sex (and I’m talking good intimate sex) I’d say that we are mostly left to work it out for ourselves, trial and error style, or learn from unrealistic porn. If you’re not especially assured or if you have a bad experience then ‘trial and error style’ is not such an effective way to learn. It can damage your confidence, and that may result in withdrawing from any sort of sexual relationship. That’s no good!

You might feel that your sex life with your partner (or with casual partners) is lacking something or has lost the spark it once had. Perhaps it’s all a bit routine, it doesn’t last long and quickly progresses to penetration. Maybe it’s all ok and you just want to take things up a level but you’re not sure how or what to do. Well, here’s what I suggest…..call a gas engineer. No! sorry….I meant to say call a Sensual Masseur.

In Part One of I for Intimacy I defined sexual intimacy as knowing how to ‘press the buttons’ of your partner, and tuning into their feelings. It’s about focusing your attention on them and their pleasure.

When you massage someone you become acutely aware of their reaction to your touch. You notice how they breathe, how they move, how they sound, how they smell, how they respond to your prompts.

I talked in in my blog previously about how a sensual massage is like a slow seduction, with the aim of both relaxing someone and arousing them, and not necessarily to include having penetrative sex. The aim is simply to enjoy giving and receiving the sensations of a sensual massage.

An experienced sensual masseur can teach you the techniques of giving a sensual massage and how to press those buttons. You’ll learn how to build the erotic tension. You’ll learn where and how to touch them that will make their body quiver with pleasure. You’ll learn how to work with breathing and movement to create an atmosphere filled with erotic tension.

Of course receiving a massage does give you the opportunity to become acquainted with some of the techniques by experiencing them but the best way to learn is by giving a massage with the guidance of a sensual masseur. It is in giving a sensual massage that you find your way to Intimacy.

To learn to give a sensual massage is a wonderful way to take your love making to another level. Your partner will certainly appreciate it.

If you want to learn I would suggest trying a sensual massage first (if you haven’t already) and then taking a course in how to massage your partner. There are some longer courses available for those wanting to become a professional sensual masseur, but if you are just looking to learn some techniques and tips to take home and use in your relationship then all you need is a couple of hours training with a good sensual masseur who you feel comfortable with.

Ok here’s the sales pitch….I offer training sessions for you to learn (with or without your partner) how to give a sensual massage. Talk to me if you’re interested, or see the Training page on my website.

What I can’t help you with is your heating. I suggest you call an engineer for that.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

I is for Intimacy

Intimate Massage

I for Intimacy

I’ve been walking a lot lately… no you read it right, it’s not a typo….I’ve been walking. I might have been doing other things but I’m not writing about that today, sorry! Spoiler alert – this isn’t my usual irreverent piece. It’s a serious post for letter ‘I’ on the subject of Intimacy. Don’t worry, I’ve got lots of ideas for letter ‘I’ (thank you readers!) and so I shall do a more ‘house style’ letter ‘I’ post in addition to this reflective and sober one. That’s two I’s in this alphabetical Z to A of Sensual Massage.

So, as I said, I’ve been doing lots of walking. Miles and miles of distance covered. It’s important to keep active and walking gives me time to think, which may or may not be a good thing. Sometimes these days it’s wise not to think too much isn’t it? So I try to avoid overthinking, although I don’t think I’m very good at that….

On one of my recent ‘non-thinking’ walks I became a bit lost. It was at night, walking through some woods on a route I’d done months ago in summer (and in daylight). This particular night seemed extra dark and somewhere in the depths of the woods I lost the path and couldn’t see my way back. I tried not to think about being anxious and carried on walking. As I walked I became more lost and more anxious. Then, briefly the clouds parted, the moon shone through and I was able to see where I was and a route back to the main path. 

Sorry to disappoint you if you were expecting me to stumble on lost in the gloom and come across some guys cruising in undergrowth….(it’s way too cold in winter for that isn’t it?). I did warn you… this is a serious post; no cruising. As I walked back home the incident did leave me thinking (whoops…) about something though. For some reason I started reflecting on some of my massage clients, and in particular why they come for a massage. Told you I think too much didn’t I?

Why have a Sensual Massage?

I do like to understand why someone wants to have a sensual massage. It helps me to give an even better massage if I can understand a little about what their motivation is. If it feels right I do ask, and sometimes my clients are happy to share their reasons. There’s all sorts of motivations, but one that seems to be quite common is that my clients are looking for some intimacy, and human touch that they might not be getting with their partner (or their casual partners), or indeed with anyone. It isn’t always articulated as specifically as that, but in general terms that’s usually the kind of motivation they tell me.

What is Intimacy?

It’s probably a good idea at this point for me to explain what I mean by Intimacy. This being a massage themed blog I’m talking about sexual intimacy, although I think the same broad principles apply to any other form of intimacy, such as emotional, spiritual or intellectual intimacy. 

To me sexual intimacy means being ‘tuned in’ to someone, being on their wavelength and sharing similar feelings in the momentIt’s about recognising what they like, what turns them on, and how to ‘press those buttons’ before and during the massage. That’s not easy to do if the first time you met someone is when they walked in the door 5 minutes ago of course. But I never said being a sensual masseur was easy  did I!

A Sensual Massage Client

About a year ago I saw a new client. Let’s call him Mark. Mark called me to book a massage. It’s unusual because most clients just message me or send an e-mail, but Mark phoned me. Often when guys phone me it doesn’t end up with them booking. Unfortunately you get the guys (it’s always guys doing this) who just want to wank while talking about their fantasy, they’ve no intention of booking. I’m happy to talk if you want to discuss a massage but not if it’s just to get aroused and unload. There are specialist numbers to call for that. Those type of calls I end quickly!  Mark however was fine, he just asked to book, arranged the time etc and then the call ended. 

The day came and Mark turned up at my studio. He’d booked an hour. I asked my usual questions, including what he was looking for, his expectations etc. and he just said it was his first sensual massage and he didn’t really have any ideas and would leave it to me. This is a common response from clients who’ve not had this type of massage before. I always check  that they understand what a sensual massage is (just in case they’re expecting a ‘spa’ style massage, which could be awkward when we get to the more erotic part) and he said yes, he understood. I suggested that we go with the flow and if I was doing anything that he wasn’t comfortable with I would recognise it but if for any reason I didn’t notice then he could guide me elsewhere. He was fine with this and seemed to relax on the table as we did some breathing exercise to start off.

I won’t go into detail on how the massage developed because it all went as I expected. I could see and feel Mark relax more as the massage progressed. If a client is nervous like Mark I say to them that during the massage I will hold their hand periodically to check all is ok. If it’s all fine they can give my hand a squeeze. It means that if for any reason I haven’t picked up that they’re anxious then they can tell me without speaking.

I held Mark’s hand a few times during the massage, including at certain points where the massage is very intimate. He squeezed my hand back every time. The massage came to an end and I was glad that Mark definitely seemed to enjoy it. As he left he said to me he’d book again, which is always a good sign. A week later he returned, for a longer 90 minute session this time, which went even better than the first one. 

About a month after the second massage Mark sent me a message. I won’t repeat it verbatim because some of it is really quite personal and I agreed with Mark that I could share his story but not the full message. 

What he told me was that he’d been in a relationship but it had ended badly over a year ago and he’d lost his confidence since then. He hadn’t had a physical relationship with anyone, not even casual partners,  for over a year until he came for the massage. In that time his confidence in his ability to share intimate touch had all but gone. The word he used was he felt ‘undesirable’. He’d had to summon up lots of courage to book, but he was so glad he’d come along.

He said all his anxiety and tension disappeared from the moment I held his hand near the start of the massage. No-one had held his hand in over a year. From that point on he said he felt safe and could relax and enjoy the massage. It had given him a real confidence boost. He’d felt good about himself and was now ready to date again. 

Help Finding Intimacy

It was Mark’s message that got me thinking on my walk back from the woods that moonlit evening. I didn’t know his motivation when I met him those two times. I could tell he was anxious, although I didn’t know what the true cause of that was. After his message to me it was clear; he’d lost his confidence. He needed a small reminder that he could enjoy intimacy with another person. Just as I was lost in the woods and the moonlight helped me find my way, Mark was lost and the massage helped him rebuild his confidence to find his way back to intimacy.

As I said earlier, there’s many motivations for coming for a sensual massage. Some are simple; you’re horny and it’s fun, you need tight muscles worked on. Others are more complex…as with Mark. Everyone needs intimacy, human touch and connection, but for many that human necessity is so difficult to find. A sensual massage can provide that important human contact, in a safe and reassuring environment. It can’t replicate the intimacy one might get from a long term relationship of course, but it can help to build confidence to help someone back into a relationship or just to feel desired.

As a sensual masseur I’m bound to extol the many benefits aren’t I? But why not, who else is promoting the value of this type of massage….you don’t see it advertised on TV do you? I could write lots more on how sensual massage can improve your well being, sex life and relationship. That’s probably a Part Two of I for Intimacy alongside the more usual irreverent piece on letter I. I guess I better do less walking and more writing. Thanks for reading. 

Share on twitter
Twitter
Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

J is for Jizz

J is for Jizz

I guess I could have used lots of different words for Jizz, such as cum or load or any number of other words for sperm, but Jizz is a good word, and to be frank, I couldn’t think of anything else for J, expect perhaps Jerk as in Jerk Off. But let’s go with J for Jizz which I think is a sort of slang for ‘jism’, which is in itself a slang word for semen. So Jizz it is.

They say retail is dying now that everyone increasingly shops on line. The events of this year (2020) have only made that worse as shops have been forcibly closed due to the pandemic restrictions. This blog tries to be positive and a welcome distraction from all the bad stuff going on so I’m not going to linger on all those miserable events….let’s get to the Jizz quick!…but in this piece I would like to suggest some ideas for retailers looking to differentiate their product from the e-commerce sites.

The sex shop

Why don’t you try it on, there’s a changing room over there” my friend said, gesturing to the corner of the shop where a small curtained off area played the role of a changing room. I held up the black leather harness to my torso. “Should fit ok” I said “but yes perhaps I’ll see what it looks like on”. Of course in my head the harness would make me look like one of those hunks often shown on the front of the weekly gay events listings magazines. That’s what harnesses do don’t they? They somehow add a few inches to your chest, remove them from your waist and increase definition all over. It’s all to do with accentuating the sexy bits and drawing attention away from the flab by clever use of straps and metal rings.

My friend was keen to see me wearing it, and had chosen a couple of other items for me too; a black leather jock strap that looked quite sleazy to me, and another harness, this time in red but with more leather straps (and a bigger price). I noticed he hadn’t chosen anything for himself yet as I went into the changing room with my stuff.

The shop was small, so the shopkeeper had overheard us talking and said “go ahead, feel free to try anything on“. He’s very helpful. Allow me to explain a little background at this point. I’d told my friend about this shop recently, and he was keen to visit. It’s a small, shall we say ‘specialist retailer’ in London, selling leather goods, other sexy clothes (pants, vests, belts, boots that sort of thing), sex toys, lube etc. An essential retailer you might say, especially if you’re planning to go to a sex club event, which of course we were, so we needed new kit didn’t we? I also had another reason to visit, and we’ll get to that soon enough…

I believe there’s a small window of opportunity in life when you look hot in a harness. It’s probably about six months sometime between age 25 and 30, depending on your circumstances. After that window closes not only does a harness detract from any ‘hotness’ one might have, the cognitive ability to work out how to put it on is also lost. This is one of those immutable laws and there’s nothing that can be done about it. However one still hopes, and as I stepped into the changing room that hope came in with me.

Unfortunately the hope stepped out again as I struggled to work out how the harness fitted. Having wriggled my way into it, I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. It wasn’t a ‘front page of the mag’ look, or even an inside page to be honest. I’m not out of shape and I think my pecs are decent but this garment did nothing for me, in fact it was uncomfortable….although I may have been wearing it wrong? I had to be helped out of it. My friend, trying to hide his disappointment and boost my esteem, suggested trying on the red one with more leather because it was much sexier, but by then I’d had enough. There was no way I was putting that one on. I’d probably get stuck in it and have to buy it.

There’s another thing I have to tell you about this shop. The shopkeeper is totally relaxed about nudity in there. Maybe this is why the mirror to check yourself out in the harness or whatever it is you’re trying on is outside the changing room. Now I’m also totally relaxed about nudity (you knew that didn’t you?) so me and the shopkeeper are aligned. I was now standing naked at the back of the shop with the black harness in one hand and the red one in the other as the shopkeeper suggested I try more harnesses. Fortunately (or not, depending on your point of view) there was no-one else in the shop. The door is routinely locked and you buzz to enter. It’s probably just as well since you wouldn’t want someone thinking they’re entering a newsagent to walk in and find a naked guy with harnesses in each hand do you?

My friend, now desperate that I buy something, suggested trying on the leather jock. The difficulty was that my cock was now semi and it wouldn’t fit in the jock. What to do? This is where my idea for bringing new experiences into retail comes into play. OK so it’s not my idea but I think it has legs and should be promoted, so I’m adopting it. I’d told my friend about it previously and he was excited to experience it, hence our visit. The marketing concept the shop owner has created is really quite ingenious.

What happens is that you get naked (or at least drop your pants), get hard (not a problem in this instance) and then wank off on a pair of special pants that the shop keeper keeps under the counter for just such a purpose. You simply ask him to make a donation to the ‘jizz-pants’ as they are called, and out the pants come. They’re placed on a side table next to the counter and you wank off and shoot a load of jizz on the pants. He then replaces them in their clear plastic bag for the next customer to ‘use’. The added twist is that he films it on his phone and posts it on social media for promotional purposes. Of course it only goes on appropriate social media where such things will be appreciated rather than objected to. It’s a dream for those with exhibitionist tendencies (although you can remain anonymous and only show waist down so to speak) and it’s even more fun if there’s other customers in the shop. It also brings in the custom…..just like me and my friend.

So we both deposited a couple of large loads on the ‘jizz-pants’ and of course were almost instantly seen by millions of viewers (OK I exaggerate, but it got a decent number of likes!). The other twist is that having dumped a load of jizz you get the chance to guess how many loads the pants will receive in the current month. If you’re correct you win the pants and a new pair becomes the next ‘jizz pants’.

Is that something worth winning? It might be a pyrrhic victory…I’ll leave you to make your own mind up on that. This was near the end of the month and the pants looked well used. Despite them being a nice Aussie Bum pair which in other circumstances I would have worn, I guessed 4 loads which was clearly wrong. There was no way I wanted to ‘win’ them.

I bought the leather jock without trying it on because it seemed only polite to do so having just wanked over the owners counter top. That’s the brilliance of the marketing; you feel obliged to spend some money. My friend bought some lube and a cock ring. The concept is definitely a new twist on retail and something the big high street names should consider. I think if they introduced some sort of jizz pants concept and live video streaming of people trying on clothes it’s something the e-commerce retailers couldn’t match. If any big retailer is looking for a consultant to assist them with the re-imagining of their shopping experience along these lines I’m available. Contact my agent.

Anyway, what did we wear to the sex club night? Certainly not the leather jock. I’ve never worn it. It’s not me. My friend didn’t like it either. So we just wore some scent and a big smile, it’s so much simpler isn’t it? I’ll leave the leather harnesses to those that can pull off that look. But the shopping trip was fun and I hope whoever won the jizz pants that month ‘enjoyed’ them.

I haven’t mentioned massage yet have I? So here’s my new massage concept inspired by the jizz pants. What do you think about the idea of a Jizz Pants Massage? I’m thinking you come along for a massage, enjoy the happy ending etc. but instead of shooting somewhere random, you shoot on a pair of my AussieBums, I add a load and then you can take them home as a souvenir? I’d have to make a small additional charge of course since AussieBums aren’t cheap but I have plenty of old ones that need re-homing. I’ll call it the Jizz Pants Special Massage. Feedback on the concept is most welcome.

Next letter is I. Suggestions (or even a full article) are welcome. Plus I love feedback. Do get in touch if you like my posts. If you don’t like them….how did you get this far?

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

K is for Kinky

 

How are you doing? Tough year isn’t it. I really hope my blog is a welcome diversion and distraction from any bad stuff going on in your world. We’re now at K in my Z to A of sensual massage so K will be for Kinky. Come on, let’s absent ourselves from all the weird goings on for a short time and slip away for a delve into the realms of kinky activities in massage.

A few weeks ago I was queueing (in line) along the street waiting to enter a building, which seems to happen frequently these days. Many of life’s routines that used to be normal everyday things are now special privileges that we appreciate more having lost them. Whilst in the queue I wore my mask covering my mouth and nose which, on this occasion I was quite glad to do because it provided some degree of anonymity because I was queueing to go into the sexual health clinic for a routine check up.

In normal times you can just go in and wait for your appointment inside but these days they want as few people hanging around inside as possible….so now you hang around outside. One of the  benefits of being classified as a sex worker by the clinic is that they issue you with a special VIP card. The card allows me (pre Covid) to avoid having to book, along with other VIP benefits such as things like use of the executive toilets, a glass of champagne on arrival, and a conspicuous absence of disapproval from the nurse when I tell them how many different sexual partners I’ve had in the past month. It’s quite a good perk.

I’ve plenty of membership and loyalty cards in my wallet but the Clinic card is, I must admit, one of the more unusual ones. I’ve about a dozen different coffee shop loyalty cards which means  that every 23rd coffee I have is free. Perhaps I should do a loyalty scheme for my massages; book 4 massages and get your 5th massage free? Hmmm, keep your eyes on my website for the Sensualtouchco loyalty scheme launch. You won’t get a card, I’ll just stamp your bum with my logo.

To be fair, I’m not entirely sure that being a VIP member of the clinic is something to be shouting about but there you go…I have no filter. Being a responsible boy I do get tested very regularly so that’s a good thing isn’t it? If I’m a regular there I might aswell get the VIP membership and make the most of the benefits it brings. There is however one aspect of the testing process that I always struggle with, and no VIP membership can make it any easier.

The bit that’s a struggle is doing a piss on demand. When you go for a test they give you the swabs for throat and bum, and a little plastic bottle to fill up. Having checked in (and drunk your VIP  Champagne…) you go to a little room to do the swabbing and pissing bit.  Now, every time I attend I know I shall have to piss at the clinic and I know exactly what time I shall have to piss at the clinic. These are known facts, it’s all predictable and you would have thought it would therefore be easy. I sometimes go to the coffee shop before the clinic (to have my free 23rd coffee)  and I’m of course desperate to piss there, which is good. However I hold off going because I know I’ll need to fill up that damn bottle later.

10 minutes later, at the clinic, I’m standing in the VIP Executive bathroom over the toilet, with the bottle in one hand and my cock in the other I try to piss, but nothing happens. Every time it’s the same…desperate to go when at the coffee shop; totally dry when faced with the bottle. Maybe a drip comes out, but the bottle remains desperately empty. I think watery thoughts, flush the toilet, turn on the tap at the sink, all in attempt to trigger a piss to fill the bottle… but nothing happens.

One time I stood there so long with the sink tap running I hadn’t realised the sink was blocked and overflowing. Only when I saw the water around my shoes did I notice it. Yet despite standing in a puddle of water I still couldn’t piss….It’s so annoying. Often I’ve had to do the swabs and then go and wait in the waiting area while drinking loads of water so that I could eventually go back to the toilet and piss in that damn bottle.

Anyway, what’s all this clinic stuff got to do with K for Kink? Allow me to explain….I guess I could write a more serious piece about how we develop our kinks or fetishes or I could write about my experience of massage kink. Given that someone else does the deep insight so much better than me I decided to recount my massage experiences.

If you want deeper insight (and an interesting listen) have a look at the talk by the sex and relationship engineer Colin Richards on intimacy matters.co.uk. Colin’s talk titled Psychology of Kink and Fetish is really informative about where our kinks come from and why. I highly recommend Colin, having frequently worked with him doing massage and at various workshops. Advert over….back to my kink massage…..

I get a call from a friend (let’s call him John). John is a fellow  masseur who I occasionally do 4 hands with. We work well together.

John “Hi Jamie it’s John, how’s things? I have a client who wants a 4 hands from us.”

Me “Hi John, great, when is he looking for?”

John “well it’s a bit different…he wants a special massage..”

Me “sure, I do special!”

John “this one is different special…he wants a piss massage.”

Me “…………”

John “are you there Jamie?, he wants us to piss on him throughout the massage.”

Me (quickly recovering my wits) “sure, it’ll be £XXX” (price redacted for commercial reasons).

And so this is how I ended up doing a kink piss massage. Me, the guy who can’t piss on demand has agreed to do a massage requiring regular and consistent pissing on the client over the period of a 90 minute massage. What could go wrong? I’d never done a piss massage before (in fact I didn’t know there was such a thing) but why not? I’ll try almost anything once. So we agreed the price, the date and time and I put it in my diary.

The day comes and I arrive early at John’s place so that we can plan our routine and set up the studio. John has prepared the room, the table is up and towels are on the floor to absorb any excess fluid so to speak. We’re not using oil because the client wants us to use piss as a lubricant (which actually isn’t as unsuitable as it sounds). We work out a routine and I drink a pint of water to be ready…then I drink another pint just to be sure.

The client arrives and he wants John to undress him outside the room and to blindfold him before he walks in naked and we begin. He won’t see me until after the massage. The instructions are clear; piss on him regularly through the massage, do a full massage with all the normal routines, he wants to drink some of the piss, and he wants to cum at the end. I find that with kink massages the client is often very specific and detailed about what they want, and it’s important to keep to that plan. It’s the details that matter.

With the client on the table, the music chosen (I had suggested Handel’s Water Music but the client preferred some bland pan pipe stuff….some people have no class), and our bladders full we began the massage. It was a standard beginning with some grounding moves and relaxing head massage. Then John indicated it was time to piss on the client and he lifted his cock and sprayed a long warm stream over the client’s back. I could see the guy relax as the warmth of the piss flowed down his sides and between his bum cheeks.

It’s my turn to piss now. But I can’t do it. I hold my cock (still soft fortunately, I definitely can’t piss when hard) and wave it about a bit in the hope that this will precipitate piss, but nothing happens. Glancing at John I pull a face that says ‘no can do’ and he grins and nods in the direction of the water bottle. Good idea, I just need a bit more water and then it will flow. John does another spurt to make up for my failure. The client is none the wiser that only one of his masseurs is ‘performing’.

The massage continues, and the client’s body is wet all over. Of course I’m giving a great massage but as yet only a small dribble has come out of my cock despite having drunk litres and litres of water. Where is it all going in my system? John is still pissing for both of us so we have plenty of lubrication (it dries quickly) but he can’t go on forever and the client is due to be turned over soon. He’ll want to drink it and I’m sure he’ll be able to tell if only John is able to perform. I indicate to John that I’m going to nip out next door to the toilet to start the piss there, which may help. Then I’ll rush back into the room holding the stream and release it when I’m back on the table. It’s a good plan.

Discreetly I exit the room and stand over the toilet in the bathroom next door. A minute goes by and no piss. I turn on the taps at the sink. I think watery thoughts. At last a stream comes out and hits the water. Squeezing my external urethral sphincter muscle to hold the piss mid stream I rush back into the room, stand next to the client and release the tension. The flow is so weak the piss barely reaches his side, it stops after a few seconds. Damn…try again. Back to the toilet, this time with more water to drink. Poor John has shouldered all the work so far.

This time I’m more successful and on returning to the table I’m able, with extreme concentration, to piss out a steady stream. I glance at John who is grinning back at me, probably as relieved as I am. The client turns over onto his back. We both give him a taste. I’m now at last managing to provide a reasonable flow having drunk what must be about 7 litres of water. The client seems to like the taste.  My piss is so diluted it must be like drinking Evian, but he’s happy. We conclude the massage in the traditional way and the client leaves very satisfied.

Even disregarding the stress of wanting to piss and being unable to, I can’t say that I enjoyed doing the piss massage. It’s not my thing but I wouldn’t be critical of the client for his liking of it. He definitely found it fun and sexy and that’s what’s important. As long as your kink isn’t cruel or illegal then I think it’s important for your well-being to be able to express it and fulfil that desire.

The difficult days we are living through are a reminder that the routine everyday things that we take for granted may not always be there for us. When they are there for us we must make sure that we take every opportunity to appreciate them. Similarly it’s important to take the opportunity to explore and appreciate our kinks because we may not get the chance again. Just like I found with needing to piss; it’s one of those routine things that when you really need it, and it’s gone, you definitely miss it. Don’t miss your opportunity…..get exploring your kinks. Although if your kink is piss massage perhaps you’d better find someone more adept at it than me.

 

 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

L is for Lubricate

When I was young and naive I used to wonder how many babies it took to make one bottle of Baby Oil?  You know the stuff, it’s that clear oil made by the company beginning with J.  Now that I’m slightly less young, but still rather naive, I realise of course that they don’t make it out of babies. It’s used on babies… and it has other uses, one of which is as a lubricant in massage. So because we’re now on L in the Z to A of Sensual Massage the word for this post is Lubricate. L for Lubricate.

I don’t recommend Baby Oil is used as massage oil though. It can be used as massage oil if it’s all you’ve got but I find it too thick and greasy to be good for use in massage. I prefer to use different oils for massage….which we’ll cover later in this post because I’d like to talk about where Baby Oil is used as a lubricant. What I’m referring to is the use of Baby Oil in naked oil wrestling…. Did you know that naked oil wrestling was a thing?

I like combat sports. I like watching MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) and boxing and I love punching and kicking a punchbag and sparring with a partner. It’s excellent for fitness, keeping your mind sharp and is a great stress reliever. Obviously I don’t go out looking for fights, that’s not a good idea. I’ve studied martial arts which teaches you to avoid situations where it may be necessary to use your self defence techniques. If avoiding the situation doesn’t work then you learn techniques to ensure that no fighting takes place, or you only resort to fighting if it’s in self defence where there is no alternative. All sensible stuff.

I like sex. I like watching sex and eroticism, and I love having sex with a partner (or partners….why not?). It’s excellent for fitness, keeping your mind sharp and is a great stress reliever. Obviously I don’t go out looking for sex (actually it sometimes comes looking for me). I’ve studied sex ……you get the picture where I am going?

Yes…combat sports and sex… These are a few of my favourite things (with apologies to Julie Andrews). Let’s do some algebra: combat sports + sex = naked oil wrestling. Now that’s something that definitely gets my interest!

I first watched naked oil wrestling at a gay nightclub in London. It was one of those clubs, you probably know them…where you dance, drink, and get to know people (some of them intimately) in a naked environment. In reality for most of the evening people stand around watching other people standing around watching people.

It’s a people watching overload session where there’s always the hope that the hottest guy is yet to arrive. And then about half hour before the club is due to close and everyone realises the hottest guy isn’t coming there’s a rush to find some action with anyone who is as desperate as you are.

Anyway, during part of this evening, which to be honest is what attracted me to attend, there was billed a session of naked oil wrestling. Enthusiastic, and presumably exhibitionist, volunteers were sought to mess around doing naked oil wrestling for half an hour or so for the entertainment of the crowd.

The volunteers were covered in baby oil and paired up to wrestle each other in a large children’s paddling pool while the crowd encourages them with what could be described as instructions. It’s the way of these things that the volunteers aren’t necessarily those who ought to be doing a naked oil wrestling show, but there you go, you can’t have everything. A couple of the wrestlers were reasonably sexy once covered in oil and spurred on by the crowd.

I was quite tempted to volunteer to wrestle, but that voice of doubt that you get in your head when anything exciting but naughty is on offer started to talk to me.  The voice said that I’d inevitably dislocate my shoulder and end up being taken to hospital naked and covered in Baby Oil and how the hell would I explain that?

So I just watched as the guys wrestled each other. The sexiest couple (relatively speaking remember) progressed to sucking each other whilst the others, presumably not wanting to go that far, stepped out to let the couple take centre stage. As the couple slid various well lubricated parts of themselves into each other I remember being quite concerned about the baby oil going places it probably shouldn’t, but they didn’t seem worried by that.

Of course I guess the wrestling show was designed to get the crowd going, should they be in need of any encouragement. It worked very well because there was now much less people watching going on and much more close physical interaction. The friends I had gone with had disappeared and it was getting late so I found a hot guy who wanted his tonsils given a cum wash and gave him what he was looking for. Then I left for home, with the naked oil wrestling firmly imprinted in my imagination.

You know when an idea gets into your mind and over time it becomes an obsession. You start to see connections almost everywhere. You notice references to it that you’d never seen previously.  Call it fate perhaps, but you end up finding it, or it finds you. Either way it’s your destiny. It’s almost as if it was pre-determined that naked oil wrestling found me again, this time in a different location and in a different way.

Through a friend I heard about a private wrestling club that held regular wrestling sessions, including the occasional oil session.  The subtext was obviously erotic because guys at the regular sessions were encouraged to wrestle in speedos or leotards, and these could be removed to wrestle naked if they wished. The oil sessions were always naked and obviously were a little more challenging to put on than the ‘normal’ sessions because of the need to set up plastic sheeting to contain the oil. It all sounded ideal.

I knew the organiser so I signed up to a session. I’ve done proper combat wrestling, during martial arts competition, so I know how to get someone in some basic holds to submission. It’s a totally different prospect though when you’re covered in oil and naked. You have nothing to get hold of (insert your own jokes here…) so it’s almost impossible to get anyone into a hold and keep them there. It’s great fun though!  I’d recommend it if you’re thinking of taking part. Ignore that voice of doubt. I didn’t end up in hospital….yet.

So… what about using Baby Oil for massage? I don’t use it in my massage sessions. It’s too greasy and thick. For my massage clients I use Grapeseed oil, usually unscented. Grapeseed oil contains linoleum acid which tightens and nourishes the skin and it’s easily absorbed, so it’s great for massage. If you like scented oil you can also add your favourite scent to it. There’s one drawback; don’t buy white towels or massage bed coverings because Grapeseed oil leaves bad stains. You live and learn….

How much oil should you use in a massage? Well…the answer is ‘it depends’. If you are massaging a very hairy person then you’ll need plenty of oil. I’ve massaged some very hairy guys (no hairy women thankfully but there’s still time….) and if you don’t use enough oil it can be painful for the guy because their body hair gets pulled by your strokes. Use lots of oil to ensure your hands glide; he will be grateful. If it’s a hairy woman then my advice is that the oil is the least of your concerns…

Other oils I sometimes use for massage are coconut oil or almond oil. Both glide well and absorb but there is the risk that someone with a nut allergy may have an adverse reaction. I’ve used solid coconut oil a few times. It’s good because it’s less slippery than liquid oil and is useful if you want to work small areas with deep pressure. Make sure the room is warm enough though. I once massaged a guy who liked the room quite cold (who knows why?). The cold meant that the solid coconut oil I was using wouldn’t easily melt in my hands, which made the massage more challenging. Ensure the room is warm!

On the subject of temperature, I always like to warm the oil before the massage because it feels great to have warm oil against your skin. And that brings us back to babies… the ideal oil warmer is a baby’s feeding bottle warmer, it keeps the oil at just the right temperature all through the massage. If you don’t have a bottle warmer, simply boil some water and place your massage oil bottle in a cup of the hot water to warm it up.

And what oil should you use for naked oil wrestling? Who cares! As long as it’s slippery it’ll work. Just make sure that if a body part should end up inside you (by accident of course) that whatever oil you’re using will taste nice, so possibly use olive oil? Oh and if you end up in hospital you can always say it was a cooking accident…

The next letter in our sequence is K. Suggestions are welcome.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

M is for Masturbate

How far would you travel for a good masturbation session? 100 miles? Each way? Is that too far or is it a reasonable distance in the circumstances. I guess the answer is it depends on the quality of the session and how horny you are. All sensible thinking disappears when you feel really horny doesn’t it?

Well… I’ll admit I once drove 100 miles each way for a guy to masturbate me. Oh, and before you say I was being paid for it, I wasn’t. It was a free service, for a friend.

Normally there is a charge…just in case anyone is thinking of making a booking for my services. I’m available for weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs etc. Please see my agent to book. Actually…I don’t have an agent so if anyone is available to manage my diary (and do other odd jobs such as towel washing and carrying my massage table) please do get in touch!

I have to let you know that this masturbation event wasn’t just a normal bit of fun with my friend. There was an extra interest for making this journey. Oh… and before we continue with my story there’s something I must do. I just need to substitute ‘Masturbation’ for ‘Wank’ in this post from now on, is that OK?. I hope you don’t mind me ‘cheating’ with the Z to A. I really don’t like the Masturbation word but it’s ideal for letter ‘M’ so I’m using it as the title of the post. However I’m using wank in the writing. We already had W (see W for Where) so I’m using M for wank which is a bit of a cheat but I hope you’ll let it go.

I’m not sure why I don’t like the M word, but I do know that I much prefer to use wank, it’s so much more fun. My prudish spellcheck apparently doesn’t like it so if you see bank, want or sank used incongruously in this piece hereafter then the spellcheck will have censored me… and I didn’t see it…..apologies.

OK the rant about the M word is over…let’s get back to my odyssey for a good wank. As I said already, this was no normal wank (what is a normal wank anyway?). On this occasion I was travelling to a session where I was to be the demonstration model at a cock massage event my friend was running.

The idea of the event is that an audience watches a demonstration of a range of different wank methods on a model as part of a sensual massage. Then the audience all get to put their learning into practice on each other while the model and masseur go around helping them with the practical. It’s a good concept, and one which I was keen to support, obviously.

Now my 100 mile journey starts to make more sense doesn’t it? My friend had told me about his plans for the ‘Masturbation Techniques Workshop’ (as it was titled) and suggested that I might like to be the demonstration model. He knows me well. I remember the conversation went something like;

My Friend: “I’m running a cock massage demonstration workshop for 20 guys next week. Do you fancy being the demonstration body? You just have to lay naked on the massage table while I use 20 different techniques to wank you

Me: “Ok“.

Doesn’t take much thinking about does it?

The day of the workshop arrived. I trimmed and prepared down there at home and then set off on the drive. The trouble with a 100 mile journey is that you have a lot of time to think about the session.

At the start of the journey I was imagining it all going well….I arrive, there’s a large audience of very attractive guys. I get instantly hard and then my mate demonstrates the 20 or so moves on me for half hour or so. At the finale I shoot a big cum fountain all over the place to loud applause from the enthusiastic audience. They demand an encore, which of course I manage after a brief refreshment break. My friend is delighted. The event is a big success.

However as the journey continues and the reality of the situation comes closer the scenario in my head begins to change. By the time I’m nearly at the destination the whole thing is going to be a disaster…I arrive, there’s 3 people in the audience. None of them are hot. I struggle to get hard and my friend has to substitute in a dildo for part of the demo (oh the shame of it….). He then desperately tries to bring me to ejaculation, becoming ever more frenzied in his technique as my soft cock refuses to respond. One guy in the audience falls asleep, the other two demand a refund.

This battle in my head between my horn and my self doubt persisted right up to the door of the location. I almost turned around at the entrance as the doubting voice in my head became stronger. Obviously my desire and intrigue was just slightly stronger than the voices of doubt in my head, and I walked into the room. In this situation my dick was doing most of the thinking……so what’s new?

How did it go? Dream scenario or nightmare? Well, as is normal with these things it was neither one nor the other.  The audience was appreciative (and with a smattering of hotties too), the demonstration went very well (my mate really is an expert masseur) and I rose to the occasion, stayed hard for the whole demonstration and managed to hold off shooting until the right moment. However there was no encore….I’m not 19 anymore. It was fun helping the audience to practice on each other and the whole workshop was successful.

We covered 20 or so different techniques in the workshop. There are of course many many more techniques than just the 20 we used and I saw the guys at the workshop use some of their own techniques as well as those they’d learned. I also see it in my work as a sensual masseur where I must have wanked hundreds of different guys, and quite a lot of females too. I say ‘wanked’ females… but going back to the wank / masturbate debate I think it feels more correct to use masturbate when it comes to females. You wank guys and you masturbate females…(if that’s your thing of course).

Some of the wank techniques work better on cut guys, and some are more suited to uncut guys. The common theme with guys is that the majority will get hard (unless there is an underlying medical condition that prevents it) after almost any type of stimulation on their cock or other erogenous areas. It’s impossible to do it wrong, only better.

In many instances arousal will happen quite quickly. Watching their response to the different techniques helps me to see which work best. If it’s not clear, sometimes I say to the guy “I love to see you wank” and then watch their technique so I know what gets them going. I can then copy this technique on them later in the massage and be sure that I’ll get a result… if you know what I mean.

In many instances with guys it’s important to slow down so that the arousal takes place over the duration of the massage. Many guys have become accustomed to rushing wanking and almost racing to climax. Sometimes this has been learned because of the stigma that has been unfortunately attached to masturbation and the fear of being caught, or just a simple lack of time. They get into the habit of “knocking one out quickly” which can be immediately satisfying but it’s often not as intense or pleasurable as an extended session done in a relaxed and comfortable environment.

With females it’s a very different situation. Almost all the female clients I have seen will generally take a longer time to reach climax than a guy. With guys it’s mostly just a physical reaction, caress their cock and there will be a result. With females it’s a lot more complicated. It’s important that they feel desired, safe and relaxed to reach climax. The arousal takes longer and is usually more a series of increases in intensity with plateaus or steps as they build to climax.

I mostly avoid any masturbation or direct touch of her clitoris until much later in the massage than I would with touching a guys cock. Once all the right conditions are in place, and she is ready then it’s possible to bring her to climax with clitoral stimulation although many times she will just enjoy the intimacy of a sensual massage without feeling the need to reach orgasm.

Common to both sexes however is that sensual massage is an opportunity to enjoy your body and immerse yourself in a seduction of erotic intimacy, which may build to a climax. An experienced and skilled sensual masseur will be able to discuss with you what you’d like to experience in the massage and will use a range of techniques and timing to help you reach your goal from the massage, whether that is an explosive climax or simply to help you explore your body and learn what it can do for you.

And of course if you book a sensual masseur to visit you in your home or hotel then you don’t need to drive 100 miles.

 

 

 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

N is for Naked

“I’ll just leave you to undress to your underwear and get on the table” he said. “You can leave your clothes on the hook there and cover yourself with this towel. I’ll be back in a few minutes and then we can begin your massage”. With those words my masseur handed me the towel, turned and left the room to allow me to undress down to my pants.  

I had that moment when you’re in a new place, suddenly alone, with some time to check out the surroundings. You know the feeling…the temptation to open a few cupboards and nose around is strong…at least it is with me. I hope I’m not alone in that! It was a standard spa massage room; sage green walls, low discreet lighting, piles of fluffy white towels (…so unpractical…my tip? – buy dark towels they don’t show the stains),  pots of potions and creams available for purchase. Nondescript spa music played from some hidden speaker. A scent of lavender filled the room. A large teddy bear sat incongruously on a wicker chair in the corner of the room watching me, and…I’m sure it was silently judging me for being a bit out of condition. Aside from judgemental teddy bear it was all as expected. This was a ‘spa massage’.

Here’s the context…I was on a work trip abroad. It was for my regular job – not a masseur job work trip. That would be fun.. to do massage work trips: Any clients in hot and sunny places are welcome to book me to visit. On this occasion I was staying at some dull airport hotel and had some time to kill. So I thought why not try the hotel spa massage service? It’s better than staying in my room wanking to the porn channel (I wonder if any of my porn ends up on hotel TV?) and eating all the snacks in the minibar. Also it’s always good to do a bit of market research, and I could probably claim it on expenses. I’ve seen others claim worse stuff on expenses (vintage whisky at a strip club…hmmm). This wasn’t a sensual massage. I had no desire, or expectation, of anything intimate developing. I just wanted to relax for an hour or so and recover from the flight. 

Alone in the massage room I took off my shirt and glanced at the teddy bear. His eyes said ‘you’ve let yourself go’. He was probably right, so I turned him to face the back of the chair…that’ll teach him to body shame me. I debated with myself whether or not to take off my pants too?…maybe the masseur wouldn’t mind. I could pretend I didn’t hear him, or even that I didn’t understand English when he’d question why my bum cheeks appeared from beneath the towel… On second thoughts maybe that’s not such a good idea. I decided to leave them on as requested and be a good boy today. Wearing just my usual pair of Aussiebum Classics (the black ones I think…always classy) I jumped on the table and tried my best to lay on my front and cover myself properly with a towel….which is impossible. Why do they ask you to do that? What are you supposed to do? Lay down and fling the towel back over your head? Lay it on the table and sneak up underneath it from the bottom? I just chucked it messily behind me in the hope it would cover me, and lay there waiting…

My masseur came back in. I didn’t tell you his name yet did I? He’d introduced himself as Alex. I think he was Russian, probably Alexei, but he said to call him Alex. OK Alex. Alex adjusted the towel so it covered me properly …. which was a shame. He could have said “oh lets not bother with this towel” but Alex was being proper. 

He started to work on me, pressing down through the towel and getting me ready for more vigorous strokes. Then the towel was folded down, revealing my shoulders and back. Alex worked there. Then it was folded up, revealing my thighs and calves. Alex worked there too. Each time the towel was folded back to re-cover the part just worked. It was a good massage, I was relaxed, but the towel work was annoying. Then Alex worked my lower back and buttocks. However the towel remained in place, even though it was over my pants. Alex worked through the fabric of towel and pants which didn’t feel great. I wondered if he’d forgotten to remove it….”Alex, the towel’s still there, it’s safe to remove it… I left my pants on…and they’re clean”….but I just thought it to myself and kept quiet while acting annoyed (which is of course very English….). Only an English person would have the ability to act annoyed whilst laying face down on a massage table. Alex, not being English didn’t notice my annoyance obviously. When he’d finished my back and I turned over the towel covering my middle stayed in place. It was there all through the massage. It was a good massage, Alex was expert, but it definitely didn’t feel right remaining partially clothed. How do you get a proper massage through a layer of towel and pants? Even Alex struggled to achieve that.

For both sensual massage and for non intimate massages I do think you need to be naked. OK, I accept that spa massages can’t become sexy; they shouldn’t cross boundaries, that’s fine and good. It’s not ethical or appropriate to do that. No-one expects it (unless they have porn film fantasies), but I believe that being naked shouldn’t be associated with anything sexual. It’s only nudity, it’s not an invitation to get intimate with the client simply because they have nothing on. Just because my pants are off and my cock is out there’s no need to caress it gently to arouse it to its full 8 inch length and swallow down the shaft bringing me to a juddering orgasm…..Sorry…I got carried away there. Ignore the big cock sliding down the masseurs throat. Ignore it….I shouldn’t have mentioned it. Can’t get that thought out of your head now can you? It’s ok at this point to watch my demo movie on my website if you need an…er… break….

OK? Back with me? Good. There’s a film by Director Mike Leigh, from 1993, called Naked. It’s one of my favourites. Don’t watch it for much nakedness, of the physical sort, or if you’re looking for a bit of light entertainment. It’s raw and bleak.  The characters are exposed as if they were naked, with nothing to hide behind. It’s not easy to watch, but I think it’s an intense and stimulating film. 

Just like in the film, whether you’re having a sensual massage or a spa massage it’s best to be naked and not hiding behind clothes. The masseur can better manipulate and sense your body, without any cloth barrier to get in the way. Being naked means there’s nothing to hide behind. It does require a level of trust with your masseur, which is good for building a rapport with them. I often find that the better the understanding and trust between masseur and client then the better the massage. Nakedness helps to build that degree of trust.

So at your next spa massage, let your masseur know that if they’re ok with you being naked then you are too. I’m sure that you’ll get a better massage. Just make sure there are no judgemental teddy bears watching…

Next letter is M. It won’t be for Massage.


Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

O is for Orgasm

I’ve only done it once. I had sworn I’d never do it of course. You know…I told myself ‘I’m better than that, I don’t need to demean myself’ …but I went ahead and did it anyway. I had to, there was no choice. What could I do? Please don’t think bad of me. Sometimes in life you’re faced with a situation that forces you to make an unpalatable decision. So you rationalise it and make all sorts of excuses; ‘it’ll just be once, I’ll say it’s for the experience, I’ll not let it define me’. Then you take a deep breath and go ahead with it, hoping for the best… 

…Yes reader, I booked Ryanair. I wanted BA of course but they didn’t fly the route. Only Ryanair flew it, so I had no choice really. For the first and er…currently only time in my life, I flew with Ryanair. I have to admit it was ok. I took my own food and drink on board, I didn’t buy the scratch card thing they offer and I avoided putting a bag in the hold so as to minimise all extra fees. Fortunately I didn’t need to take many clothes because I was off to a nude holiday. You don’t expect me to go somewhere that requires being dressed do you? 

As a means of getting from some place to some place else it was, I have to admit, very decent and efficient. They took me to the right airport, on time and without hassle. Your standards drop a bit when faced with tough choices don’t they? I never thought I’d fly with a budget airline… but I did. I mean I’ll happily admit that I get my cock out for paying clients (and of course all my clients are high quality discerning clients), but to admit to having flown Ryanair is something I’d rather not do…. so let’s keep it just between us ok?

What I will agree is that I wanted to get somewhere at a certain time on a certain day and Ryanair did exactly what I needed. They got me there (and back) safely and on time. That’s good enough isn’t it? Nothing extra promised and nothing extra expected, just faultless execution of the main job. They fulfilled their purpose. This isn’t an advert for them (however if they’re reading – please send me free stuff) but it does get me thinking about what’s the purpose of a naked sensual massage. What’s the promise? What’s expected? Does it fulfil it’s purpose?

The title is a clue I guess: Naked Sensual Massage. You’ll be naked and so will the masseur (at least by the end they will). Nudity is clearly part of the deal. Sensual is also part of the deal….I covered sensual stuff elsewhere in this blog but briefly, it’s about engaging all the senses, especially touch. So your senses are going to be stimulated. Finally there’s massage…and the promise that your soft tissue (muscle etc) will be manipulated by massage. 

Naked Sensual Massage is a bit like the airline’s promise to fly me safely from one airport to another at a certain time. You’re definitely going to get a naked sensual massage. However there’s more things implied by the title Naked Sensual Massage isn’t there? And that’s where matters become different from the airline’s offer. 

Ryanair don’t imply anything else is available; in fact they make a virtue of it. It’s a service stripped to the basics. They don’t say ‘we’ll fly you from A to B plus you’ll feel awesome, and hey the bar will be free all through the flight and there’s a limo for you each end…aren’t we lovely!’ They don’t even give you one of those hot towels. What are the hot towels for anyway? I never knew what to do with my hot towel. Nor did I want the glass of champagne they dump on you just as you sit down in business class on the ‘proper’ airlines. I don’t want a glass of champagne that’s going to get knocked over as I’m trying to work out where the fold out tray is, where the socket is to charge my phone and what happens if my big dildo falls out of my bag in the overhead locker during turbulence? Give me the champagne after we’ve taken off please. Then I won’t give a damn about any sex toys falling on the passenger behind me. 

Sorry, I’m going off the subject aren’t I? I took a flight of fancy (couldn’t resist….sorry). We’re talking about what’s implied in the Naked Sensual Massage offer aren’t we. And specifically the main question I’m often asked about the offer is….”will I get off?” Sometimes quickly followed by “and will you get off too?”. 

Some clients are more forthright in asking but most are a little more circumspect and hint at the question, or use the euphemism of a ‘happy ending’. We all know what that means. Yes, we’re talking about whether the massage ends in climax. Is there an O for Orgasm?….(or maybe that’s OOOOOOOOHHHHH  for Orgasm?). To which I answer….”that’s up to you, it’s your massage and it’s up to you if you want to get off, or climax, or orgasm”. Indeed a sensual massage doesn’t have to end in orgasm….it can start with one too!  

I see a few clients who like to release the tension early in the massage so they can relax, enjoy the ‘massage’ part of the massage, and then build to a climax again later on. Now this is where things can get a little misunderstood. If someone is desperately horny and just wants to get off as soon as possible then coming for a sensual massage is probably not the best option. There’s other places you can go if you want a blow job or quickie. I’m not into that kind of service although I’m not judging anyone who wants it or offers it. 

Sometimes I get calls late at night from guys (it’s always guys) asking if I’m available immediately for a half hour or even 15 minute appointment. The answer (if I bother to answer) is always ‘no’. Those guys just need a hookup not a sensual massage. Try Grindr. What I mean by the guys wanting to orgasm at the start is sometimes it’s because they experience premature ejaculation. They are concerned about climaxing during the massage. This worry can hinder their enjoyment of the intimacy of the massage. Therefore they purposely climax at the start (with my help of course…) and then we can begin the massage proper and practice building up the energy through massage as I gently and slowly use touch and edging techniques to help them practise delaying reaching climax. After a few massages they’re then able to hold off climaxing at the start and can enjoy the gradual build of energy and eroticism through the massage.

It is also possible to simply enjoy holding the sexual energy created by the massage and not climax at all. The purpose and intention of sensual massage is to create sexual energy and to enjoy the touch, intimacy and seduction of your masseur. Whether that should include a release of the energy through orgasm is one option, but it need not be the only option. 

Perhaps you struggle to reach climax, either for medical reasons or other reasons. This is certainly no barrier to enjoying a sensual massage. Sometimes I see clients who may find it difficult to surrender control and ‘allow’ themselves to reach orgasm. It is of course a very intimate and personal thing and requires a lot of trust between the client and the masseur. Climax happens as much in the brain as it does in the genitals. This can be especially so for female clients where trust and connection with the masseur is extremely important to put the client in the right frame of mind to enable her to reach orgasm. It may take a few massages to build up that connection that helps the client to be in the right place mentally to let go and allow their physical responses to build to climax. I find that generally however the environment and conditions created during a sensual massage are highly conducive to putting someone in a very relaxed yet aroused state to allow them to reach a climax if they wish to. 

As for whether I orgasm or not…..well that’s another question and you’ll have to ask me in person when you come for a massage won’t you? Oh, and in a naked sensual massage there is a use for that hot towel….especially if there’s a lot of cum to clean up. I hope you enjoyed O for Orgasm, but it wasn’t compulsory 🙂 

Next letter is N. I’ve a few ideas but suggestions are welcome, as always. Thanks for reading. 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

P for Pace

There is a P word which dare not speak it’s name in this blog. I vowed I’d never mention it, and thus far I’ve managed to keep that vow. In fact I’ve not even referenced obliquely, not spoken of it fleetingly, nor have I implied it exists in any of the posts. If this blog is about escapism and let’s admit it….more than a little hedonism and fun, then the P word of which I speak is certainly the enemy of those things. We would rather not discuss it…is that agreed? This P word certainly won’t be standing for ‘P’ in the Z to A of Sensual Massage. No, the P word, which begins with P and ends with andemic…shall not be for P. The word for letter P shall be Pace. P for Pace (and not for Pandemic….whoops.. I said it….sorry about that, it won’t happen again). Let’s move on to P is for Pace.

Last year, in a time before the Pandem….(oops, nearly said it again…that doesn’t count as a mention of it…ignore it), I was a guest at a birthday party. It wasn’t a big party, more of a select gathering, I guess around 20 people which is a cool number for such an event. I probably knew about half the people there, the others were new, which for me is an ideal mix; some familiar faces and some new to get to know. The party had all the ingredients for a good time; food, drink, music, nudity. Oh, did I not previously mention the nudity? When the birthday boy is a nudist then the party is nude….them’s the rules. I wasn’t going to complain, far from it, I do like to get my kit off at any opportunity. So at a nude party, you turn up, hand over your bottle of whatever and then you strip off…everything. You leave your clothes in the bedroom and join the crowd in the living room / kitchen (or galley?). It is important to be careful not to lean against the oven in the kitchen or stand too close to the wood burning stove in the living room but apart from that you just behave the same way as if you were wearing clothes. Depending on whether anyone is aroused there may also be places to drape a napkin or rest a canapé. The space we had was quite small so everyone was fairly up close and personal which encourages good mixing and a fair bit of body contact (hmmm…remember that?). You don’t get much space on a canal barge do you? Oh, sorry did I not mention that either? The nude birthday party was held on a canal barge. It was moored of course (because it was after dark) alongside the towpath. The boat was one of those broad beam barges, so not the more familiar narrow boat type, but wider than those, although still fairly tight. Into the cosy living room / kitchen space there was squeezed a baby grand piano, around which most people had gathered. The piano provided the music (depending on whether or not anyone was playing it at any point during the evening) whilst the fantastic spread of food and drink was arranged on an island unit in the galley around which others partygoers had gathered. I think these are the correct terms (i.e. galley etc) regarding canal going craft but I’m sure if I’ve called something by the wrong word someone in the know will correct me. Because it was winter the room was warmed by the wood burning stove and of course the heat from all the bodies in the small space. It certainly made for a cosy and intimate evening. Moored alongside the barge was a narrow boat which was available should anyone want to go and have some other kind of intimate fun. The main boat for eating drinking and music, the next door boat for sex. Oh come on…what do you expect happens at these naked parties….Twister games? Everyone is naked, it’s warm, drinks are had, some people want to get to know each other better… It was possible to see into the narrow boat (shall we call it the sex boat from here on?) moored alongside from the main boat just by peering through the windows (or portholes?) should anyone want to watch the fun next door. The host had prepared the sex boat with everything you might need. He even provided dressing gowns to cover up so as not to offend anyone on the canal bank on the necessary brief outside trip between the boats.

Anyway I guess you’re wondering what all this talk of barges, pianos, nudity and sex boats….has got to do with P for Pace? …or maybe you would rather I just describe what happened on the sex boat?  Sorry! I’m not going to do that because nothing happened on the sex boat as far as I’m aware….at least nothing happened involving me unfortunately, which makes a change I guess. I didn’t see anyone discreetly slip on a gown and jump across the gap between the boats for an assignation next door. Nor did I see anything through the window unfortunately (I did look). Everyone seemed to be too busy enjoying the chat, drink, delicious food and expert piano playing and singing to brave the trip to the sex boat. So what has all this canal boat stuff got to do with P for Pace and massages? Well… I think a canal boat trip is a neat metaphor for a sensual massage. You can’t go anywhere fast on a canal, there’s a pace to canal travel that is slow and there’s nothing much you can do about it. A canal boat trip is also as much about the journey as it is the destination. In some ways it’s all about the journey. It’s a leisurely meander towards a goal where the journey and the mode of transport is just as important as the destination. And for me, that’s very much like a sensual massage.

Think of a sensual massage as one choice of a mode of travel towards reaching a sexual release. You can take other modes of ‘transport’. Some are faster like bashing one out quickly…forgive the crudeness but you know what I mean… or a ‘let’s get straight down to it fuck and go’. They have their place of course. Or you can deliberately slow things down in pace and savour the journey, or even make the journey the sole purpose. For me, arousal by sensual massage is like the difference between a canal boat trip and a fast train journey to a destination. Both modes get you there but the canal trip / sensual massage is at a pace that enables you to really savour and enjoy the journey, which makes arriving all the sweeter. With a sensual massage the pace of arousal is drawn out, each step along the way is heightened by experiencing events in a slow and deliberate pace. The massage will involve subtle changes of pace, sometimes with fast, intense motions, and other times with slower gentler nurturing touch…yet always building in waves of intensity, each wave becoming stronger, more erotic, the pace quickening, the seduction more ardent, more carnal, inexorably moving towards the apex of pleasure. Hmmm, you’ll never think of a canal boat trip in the same way again will you?  

Next letter is O. Yes….you guessed it. 

   

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

Q is for Questions

I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who. I send them over land and sea, I send them east and west; But after they have worked for me, I give them all a rest.

Rudyard Kipling

Questions questions questions….it’s all about questions in this instalment of The Z to A of Sensual Massage.

Imagine you’re at a party or gathering, perhaps it’s a BBQ or garden party. People are getting to know each other, there’s cool drinks, canapés, music and the hubbub of chatter over music. Soon enough the talk comes around to some familiar questions, including the question that often makes my heart sink a bit….you know the one… it’s “What do you do?“……How do you answer that question?… I’m tempted to reply “I do lots of things” but I bite my tongue because it probably wouldn’t be taken very well would it? The next most tempting answer is to reply with “I’m a dolphin trainer and part time sex worker……only one of those statements is true, which one do you think it is?“. Fortunately I’ve never been irreverent enough to say it. Discretion is an important requirement with what I do so in most instances I just say “I work with people“….which is true enough isn’t it? I certainly don’t work with Dolphins because I much prefer that they live in the sea and not in a pool. Anyway…that’s enough about Dolphins….let’s get back to parties. 

At some parties (yes, usually those sort of parties….) I am secure enough to answer “I work as a sensual masseur”. And that’s when the questions start….So I thought in this blog instalment I’d ask and answer some of those ‘party’ questions for you.  Kipling’s six honest serving men are a helpful guide, so here are the six Questions (and answers) of Sensual Massage, with thanks to Rudyard Kipling. 

Let’s start with What. The most frequently asked question is What does a sensual masseur do? I remember chatting with a guy at a wedding and the conversation turned to jobs. That question came up, inevitably….”what do you do?”. “I’m a masseur, I do it part time” I replied, and left it at that. I could see he was curious and wanted to ask more but before he could say anything his wife joined us and the conversation went elsewhere. Neither he nor I wanted it to go elsewhere.. but it was as if his wife was driving and we were just passengers fated to go where the driver took us, so we both shut up and let her take the conversation wheel. 

Later on in the evening he discreetly sought me out in a quiet corner, to pick up that lost conversation. “Hi, me again, you said you’re a masseur yes?” “Yep, that’s right” I said. Lowering his voice and leaning in conspiratorially he asked “so what sort of massage do you do if you don’t mind me asking”. “Sure it’s fine” I replied, and leaning in a little closer, and even more conspiratorially I whispered “I do sensual massage…..naked sensual massage”. “Ah, er right ok er…that sort of massage is it?” he said. “What sort do you mean?” I said, teasing him knowing full well what he meant (I am a tease aren’t I?). Looking around nervously to ensure we weren’t overheard, and leaning in almost as if he was going to kiss me he said “er…the happy ending sort” adding quickly…”I hope I haven’t offended you”. “No offence taken at all” I said, “yes the happy ending sort.. although there’s more to it than that but yes the endings are very happy indeed” I replied. “Lovely, would you give me your number please, I have tight hamstrings, I may be in touch” he said as he took out his phone. “No problem mate, here you are, I look forward to hearing from you” I responded, as I shared with him my phone number. 

So that’s it, the short-hand for sensual massage, if you want a quick explanation, is the happy ending sort of massage. That is a rather incomplete description because there’s a lot more to it than happy endings but if you need a quick and easy answer to the question “what does a sensual masseur do” then the quick and easy answer is: massages of the happy ending variety

Next in Kipling’s poem is Why. I’m going to ask; “Why do you do sensual massage?” because that’s what I tend to get asked at those parties. Have you ever had a disappointing massage? Or bad service perhaps in a restaurant? Chances are your masseur or your server wasn’t enjoying their job, and it definitely shows when that’s the case. I’m sure it’s not possible to do a great sensual massage if you don’t enjoy doing the work. 

It’s quite simple really because if you don’t enjoy doing sensual massage you’re not going to get many clients. So the first and main reason why is because it’s such a lot of fun, I enjoy it. There’s other reasons of course; to meet people, to work independently and to help people explore intimacy and sensuality. But the main reason is because it’s such a fun thing to do and that’s not a bad reason is it?

The third of Kipling’s honest serving men is When. The most common question I get asked is “When are you available?”. Sometimes I’m asked this via text message at 2am in the morning. The question is usually asked by way of a picture of an erect cock, at least that’s how the exchange is opened. Now I don’t mind cock pics in my messages, especially it it’s a pretty one, but not really at 2am, not unsolicited and not from a random stranger. I wish they’d start at least with “hello, are you available?” before sending the cock pic. More often than not the answer to the question “are you available now (or within the next hour or so) is “sorry, no I’m not available”. Sometimes I am available of course but the reality is that someone wanting a  massage ‘right now’ is almost certainly not looking for a massage if you know what I mean. Especially if they sent a cock pic. 

Next is How. The question I get asked most frequently is “How do you do sensual massage for clients that you’re not attracted to?” The question rather misses the point, I don’t do massage to satisfy my desires (although that can happen), I do massage because I enjoy introducing my clients to the pleasure of massage, and helping them to explore their sensuality. 

The main attraction for me is that someone should choose me to share that experience with them. I see all sorts of different people, of all ages, shapes, ethnicities and sexualities. The only thing I need to be able to massage them is to know that they chose me to share the experience with them, and that’s the greatest attraction. Of course if I didn’t enjoy giving massage then it would be clearly evident to my client. I can’t think of any occasions when that has been the case.

Honest serving man number five is Where. I covered ‘where’ in my entry for W(here). Let’s move on to Who.

Who do you massage?” is a regularly asked question. Sometimes with the rider “anyone famous?”… and of course I’m not telling if I have massaged anyone famous, it’s a secret! I do offer to sign Non Disclosure Agreements if anyone is needing one of those, and that’s all I’d say. Of course I’m totally discreet so there’s definitely no names divulged. 

However sometimes the question is asked as in “what type of person?”. The answer is anyone and everyone. The only criteria is to be over 20 and be healthy (there is a list of contra indicators for massage which would preclude me massaging you) but other than that anyone is welcome to enjoy a sensual massage. 

I do recall one client who was moving gingerly and slowly as he started to undress. I asked him if there were any injuries or conditions that I needed to be aware of. As he lifted off his T shirt he said that he had a cracked rib which was a bit uncomfortable when he lay prone or when he coughed or sneezed….By the look of how he moved it seemed to be more than ‘a bit uncomfortable’. I suggested that maybe because he needed to lay on the table and I’d be applying quite firm pressure to his back that he should come back when he was fully recovered. He asked if I could do legs only? We cancelled the massage and he came back weeks later when he was able to properly enjoy himself. 

So aside from some health conditions and of course being able to fit on the table the answer to the question “Who do you massage” is….”you!” See you soon on my table I hope.

P.S. If you have any questions for me that I didn’t answer here…just ask me! I’ll include them in a future letter for everyone to see. 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

R is for Relax

Relax, don’t do it, when you want to go to it, Relax, don’t do it, When you want to come…

That’s what Frankie says, or that’s what they sang back in 1983 when the song was released by the band Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Relax when you want to come, hmmm I think they were onto something! The song got banned which ensured it got played much more widely than might have been had it not been banned. A clever marketing strategy which I am sure was the intention. It’s a song about shagging which the band later admitted even though almost everyone knew it right from the release.

EF7FF6F7-CE15-471B-B9D7-0D55DF6AD92A

Even if you don’t want to come, it’s important to have opportunities in your life to relax properly. Sometimes everyday life goes well and everything lines up nicely. It’s like getting three cherries on a one arm bandit fruit machine every time the barrels spin. Other times life just seems difficult and full of what sometimes are called ‘challenges’. At those times we need an outlet to release the pressure and relax properly. I like to relax by doing yoga and exercise by swimming or running. Sometimes I do martial arts and release tension by punching and kicking a punchbag, which is very cathartic. Oh.. and did I say? The yoga is naked yoga. Naked yoga is much the best type of yoga. There’s nothing like doing happy baby pose in a room full of other naked yogis all in the same position. Not sure what happy baby pose is? Look it up…(Ananda Balasana in the Sanskrit).

My other outlet to relax is massage. I’m usually giving the massage, which I find relaxing, however in this blog I want to focus on the relaxation from receiving a massage. If you’re looking for ways to chill out and have some 100% ‘me time’ then having a sensual massage is just such an opportunity.  Lay down, let go and give yourself over to the expert hands (and other bits) of your sensual masseur….bliss!

For many of my massage clients their visit to me is their first time having a naked sensual massage. For some it’s their first time spending an hour or so naked and intimate with a guy. Because it’s a new experience for them and they don’t know me (I’m nice! But they don’t know that yet do they?) many of the clients I see are quite anxious at first. I’m not surprised by that, but it’s not exactly a recipe for relaxation. I try to overcome it by making them feel welcome, safe and reassured, and then relaxed and then aroused.  There’s many techniques and ways of doing that, some of which I cover elsewhere in this blog. However in this piece I want to focus on one specific technique that I use at the start of a massage.

I mentioned earlier that I swim to relax. Unfortunately I’m not usually allowed to swim naked at my gym so Speedos have to be worn. That’s not because they look good, it’s also because swim shorts or loose trunks tend to slow you down…theres too much drag. Speedos are streamlined. I do breaststroke and crawl and usually swim around 1km a session. The most important part of swimming properly is the ability to breath in your stroke. To swim efficiently you have to get your head in the water in the right position, which then makes it easier to get your body in the right position, and thereby reducing the drag caused by poor body position in the water. If your head is under the water (where it should be) good breathing technique is essential. Get your breathing right and you find that it falls into a pattern as you swim, breathing in deeply and then blowing out while your head is under water. This rhythmic nature of swimming breathing, the deep breaths, and the blowing out of the breath under water is calming. The deep breathing increase the supply of oxygen to the brain and it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system which promotes calmness.

A similar principle applies with martial arts. Imagine a situation where you need to use the martial arts techniques you learned in the dojo. Suppose you find yourself in a fight situation….you need to use those punching, kicking and blocking techniques to defend yourself but your heart is racing and your breathing is fast and shallow which doesn’t help you to focus on protecting yourself. To fight effectively you need to be calm despite the situation. That’s why breathing techniques are taught as an integral part of the martial art training. You’ll be able to slow down your breathing, using your diaphragm to breathe deeply and get more lung capacity and oxygen to move into a composed yet relaxed state. Yoga teaches similar breathing techniques to induce a state of calm and enhance relaxation. Breathing is integral to managing your state of mind and it’s no surprise that practising breathing is an essential part of any teaching of yoga or martial arts.

Drawing on my experience of the importance of breathing in swimming, martial arts and yoga I use these techniques to reduce my clients anxiety by focusing on some breathing exercises at the start of the massage. It’s possible to quickly slow down their breathing to bring about a relaxed state….which is essential for a sensual massage. I remember meeting a new client at his apartment, let’s call him Nick. I don’t often do out calls but Nick wasn’t comfortable coming to the studio, possibly because he thought it may not be discreet (it is very discreet!), so I agreed to visit his place. Arrangements were made and at the agreed time I discreetly turned up to Nick’s 3rd floor apartment. Side note: my massage table is solid and wide, which is great, but that means it’s big and heavy which isn’t so great. There was no lift to use so I had to carry it up the 3 flights of narrow stairs. By the time I made it to his door I seriously thought about asking Nick if he’d give me a 10 minute recovery massage so I could have a rest on the table. It’s not easy to smuggle a portable massage table discreetly in to someone’s house or hotel room but I’d snuck in as unobtrusively as possible up all those stairs… until I rang his doorbell. The sound of Nick’s dog barking undid all the subtlety of my arrival unfortunately. Nick opened the door and ushered me in as quickly as possible. As I set up the table in the lounge Nick’s cute puppy dog said hello to this new visitor. The puppy was excited but Nick was nervous as we chatted about the massage and what he was looking for.  He kept saying he’d not done anything like this before and going over in detail what he wanted (and what he didn’t want), asking me what would happen when and how. I’m happy to talk in general about the massage and the main aspects but the massage loses spontaneity if we choreograph and plan it in too much detail. His questions also told me that he was anxious and needed reassurance. We agreed on a plan he was happy with and by the time I had prepared the table Nick had stripped down to his pants and his puppy seemed to have disappeared. Nick was more relaxed now and he turned away from me slipping down his pants as he adroitly mounted the table. I covered him in a towel straight away. The music started, the lights were dimmed and we were ready to begin.

I leant in close to Nick and whispered to him to take a deep slow breath in through his nose and hold it for a second before releasing it even more slowly through his mouth. We did this three times, with me doing the same, each time taking a slightly deeper slightly longer breath. By the third time Nick’s breathing was deep, slow and regular. I did some head massage which increased the sense of relaxation and I could see the tension in his shoulders and neck release. As I began to press down on his towel clad body I started to hear his breath become deeper and it sounded like he was almost snoring. That was quick I thought. Once we were almost 10 minutes into the massage he’d relaxed so much I was sure he was asleep, snoring quite loudly. As it was a 90 minute massage, I had plenty of time to relax him further and then start to become more erotic, focusing on what he’d said he was looking for. I carried on, working around his body, removing the towel, applying oil, working in some quite firm strokes on areas of tension. Usually by now someone who has fallen asleep at the start would have woken but it still seemed like Nick was asleep, certainly the snoring was as loud as ever. Time to start touching more sensitive areas….that usually brings a response. It did… he raised his bottom slightly, and his legs opened a little, but the snoring continued, which seemed strange….. “Don’t mind my puppy Jamie” Nick said over the snoring, “he’s new and this is where he sleeps, but he’s a terrible snorer”. I looked around and in the corner curled up in a basket was the sleeping puppy. “That’s OK Nick, shall I turn up the music?”.

Nick’s massage ended happily (you know what I mean…he relaxed and did what Frankie said to do) and he got out of it all that he wanted. His puppy slept and snored all through so I guess the atmosphere created was helpful to him too. I was kind of glad, I like an audience but being watched by a puppy isn’t on my bucket list.

 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

S is for Sensual

Hello, we’re at letter S. It has to be S for Sensual doesn’t it? This is, after all Sensual Touch so S for Slippery, Slide or for Stroke is not fitting. I could do many posts using S for Sexual, Swedish Massage, Spa, Salon….but we must move on, we can’t keep letter R waiting in our journey from the Z to A of sensual massage. So it’s S for Sensual and that’s all.

In this blog post I’m answering the question I often get asked by clients, What is a sensual massage? How is this type of massage different from a Swedish massage or a salon or spa massage (see what I did there?).  Well, it’s definitely a sexy massage but not necessarily sexual. It’s also very intimate, usually done with both the client and the masseur naked, and will often end in orgasm, although it doesn’t have to. Confusing? In S for Sensual I aim to de-mystify the sensual massage, and answer the question, what is sensual massage?

img_0407The Urban Dictionary defines sensual as ‘Arousing but not entirely sexual, relating to sexual feelings without actually having intercourse’. It also says that ‘anything (doesn’t have to be sexual) that makes you feel good is sensual’. That seems to me to be a very good start of a description of a sensual massage. Maybe we need a bit more though, because a Swedish style salon massage (like one you might get in a spa or hotel) can feel good, and it isn’t sexual, so whilst it fits the definition, I’d say it isn’t a sensual massage. So what are the essential features of a sensual massage? What things should you look for in a massage offering to be sure that it’s the sensual variety? Think of this as a checklist for a proper sensual massage… if these things are on the menu, then you’re going to be served a sensual massage.

In physiology sensory stimuli such as smell, sound etc. are converted through sensory transduction in the nervous system to trigger reactions. This isn’t a scientific blog (nor am I a scientist) so I’ll just say that this means certain smells, sounds tastes and touches etc make you feel certain things, be they feelings of sexual arousal, well being, security or relaxation. Use the right stimuli and you usually get the desired result. I’m talking about the senses, all of which are present in a sensual massage…obviously…or it wouldn’t be called sensual!

Touch is obvious, we’ll dig deeper on that one later. Sight is less obvious in a sensual massage situation but it is relevant. Most of the time all you’d see while on the table is the floor through the head hole as you lay prone on the table. Turn over however and the visual aspect becomes more relevant. What you imagined whilst prone you can now see. Many of my male clients are quite visual. Much more so than my female clients. It’s definitely a male trait to be more turned on by visuals than females for whom an emotional connection is more relevant. Whether it’s in the opportunity to see themselves, and me in the mirror (always have some mirrors placed around the table), or sometimes even to watch a video of their massage, guys do like visual stimulation. I’m not talking videos of the whole massage (that’s a separate blog….M for Movies), but maybe just 30 seconds or so of a key part of the massage so to speak. If my client wants it I’m ok to film us on their phone so that they control the material. I remember one time I was filming holding the guys phone carefully so as not to cover the camera lens in oil. As things got close to the er….let’s call it ahem …’the money shot’ the phone slipped from my hand and I dropped it somewhere delicate, which sort of interrupted the moment. We played it back to see if it caught any particularly artistic shots as it fell but unfortunately not. Never mind, he got the main bit he wanted so that worked out ok…..something to watch later on back at home. On the whole I’m not keen to film the massage whilst holding a phone though because it’s almost impossible to do. I like to concentrate on the massage.

What about sounds I hear you ask?  The right music can definitely set the mood and get things going. I favour instrumentals, and classical music. One client likes to be massaged while Brahms plays which is rather lovely. I like to synchronise my movements on the table to the pace and mood of the music, for which Brahms is ideal. If you know the piece you can make each passage fit the massage rather like a film director uses music to enhance the film. It does take some practice, and doesn’t always work…especially if you select the wrong piece. I played Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture by mistake on one occasion. It’s not an ideal piece for a sensual massage. I think I had the wrong play list selected on Spotify. Once it had started I didn’t want to interrupt things to change it so I just persevered with this rousing piece becoming more and more distracting in the background. I should have just switched it but I thought I’d try and make my guys ejaculation synchronise with the canons near the end of the symphony, so I let it play on. It would have been awesome if he’d cum just as each canon boomed, what a climax. Unfortunately it didn’t work out like that and he came to soon. Not a case of premature ejaculation (he’d been on the table almost 90 minutes) but more the fault of the conductor I think. I should have been more delicate, or played a different tune.

Smell is an important sensation in a sensual massage. Some masseurs light a joss stick which fills the room with fragrance. I’m not keen on those because I don’t like the smoke. I prefer to use scented massage oil. Grapeseed oil is good oil to use in a massage because it has no smell of its own but you can add scents to it depending on your preference. Lavender is good for creating a sense of calm. I do always offer clients to use unscented oil too. Some clients I see are discreet about having a sensual massage and it’s important for them that there are no scents on their skin or hair.

Of all the senses touch is probably the most important in a sensual massage. So much emotion can be conveyed through touch. I covered some of Touch in my last blog post, T for Touch (I hope you liked it). There’s plenty more to say though because touch is like a whole language of communication. Think of different touches as different words used to convey messages. A light finger tip stroke down your inner thigh says one thing, a slap of a palm on a buttock says something else. Both are touch. Both are legitimate in a sensual massage. And it’s not just hands and fingers doing the touch. I like to use my whole body during the massage, at times just the lightest touch with my breath, at other times using my whole body weight. Sometimes my elbow, sometimes my cock. Even the anticipation of touch is enough as you trace your fingers down the person’s spine slowly and inexorably towards their bum the tension builds. I often do this standing at the head end, at the start of the massage, to signal that this is a sensual massage and I’ll go to the intimate places. Quick tip, only do it if you can be sure to reach all the way so to speak. I saw a very tall guy one time, admittedly the table was quite high but standing at the head and slowly tracing down his spine I realised about two thirds of the way down I wasn’t tall enough to reach all the way. Rather inelegantly I climbed onto the table, knees astride his head as I finished the move. Not ideal at that point in the massage (it works nicely later on for rimming).

We didn’t cover taste did we? It’s not especially relevant to sensual massage, unless you’re into some kind of unusual kink? Chocolate massage oil? There’s a thought….. it might make licking things taste less of oil.

So we covered the senses, what else is there that is an essential ingredient of a sensual massage? Does it need to be sexual? Does it include intercourse? It’s a question I’m often asked. I say it can be intimate, it can include climax and penetration but it certainly doesn’t have to. Go back to that Urban Dictionary definition… “Arousing but not entirely sexual, relating to sexual feelings without actually having intercourse”. The essence of sensual massage is that you feel entirely comfortable and relaxed in the moment, and in the presence of you masseur. Many times I find that people are looking for intimacy and connection in a massage which they may not get from sex, it being so focused on performance and reaching climax. With a sensual massage you can let go and simply enjoy the sensations of the massage without being concerned about where it may go or what may happen because there’s no pressure to perform. Each event in the massage is a natural progression, and is signalled by the masseur reading your body and guiding you on the journey of exploration. It’s the journey and not the destination that matters. And on the subject of journeys, the next letter is R. Any requests for R? Let me know….

 

 

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

T is for Touch

I visited the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican last summer. It was a Roman holiday, the weather was hot and so were the people. There’s a curious mix of insouciance and style that Romans seem to pull off, even while queueing for hours to get into the Vatican’s treasures. I people watched as we queued and the time passed quickly. Once inside there’s more crowds and queues. Visiting the Sistine Chapel is an experience that you’re obliged to share with a few hundred others crowded into the surprisingly small space. You shuffle in through a narrow door, in a sort of conga-style line, getting as close to the person in front as possible without having to introduce yourself. Denied the opportunity to stand still by the need to get as many visitors in as possible everyone moves steadily through the chapel…whilst looking up to the ceiling at the wonderful frescoes by Michelangelo. The centrepiece of which is the scene from Genesis of the Creation of Adam showing the hands God and Adam reaching out to touch each other. The first touch. Yes, this post is T for Touch and we’re going right back to the beginning, to where it all started.

T is for Touch

Of course I did marvel at the brilliance of the art, but I couldn’t avoid thinking that whilst Adam looks very hot it is a shame that Michelangelo didn’t give him larger genitalia. Compared to Adam’s body his cock and balls appear tiny. It’s like Michelangelo made a mistake, but that can’t be true. I wonder why they’re like they are? I Imagine the scene went a bit like this: Michelangelo has finished painting Adam. He’s pleased with the work and is eager to show the Pope the reclining figure of Adam with his large cock and balls lying resplendent across his thigh, as he reaches out to touch his Creator.

Michelangelo "Finally, the Creation of Adam is complete!  What do you think of it Holy Father?"  
Holy Father "Hmmm, it is bellissimo... but er, does the big guy have to be so naked? This is the Vatican, could he be a bit more decent?".  
Michelangelo "It's the Book of Genesis Holy Father, I don't think we're at the clothes part yet?" 
Holy Father "Really? Well, the old testament was never my favourite bit. Could you perhaps cover up his, er....his groin area? Maybe have the hand that isn't reaching out to God sort of covering the offending parts? "
Michelangelo "You're proposing that as his left hand touches the hand of God..... his right hand is...."
Holy Father "oh, I see, no perhaps that's not so good a suggestion. Could he maybe face the other way, so we don't see the equipment?"
Michelangelo "well...that rather messes up the composition. Plus I'm not sure it's entirely appropriate to turn your back on your Creator..... not at this point anyway. 
Holy Father "aarrgghh this is so difficult, I wish we'd just stuck with the Artex textured paint in magnolia".
Michelangelo "what if I make it smaller?"
Holy Father "make what smaller?"
Michelangelo "Adam's cock and balls. I can make it so small you won't see it from down here".
Holy Father " brilliant! Make it small and hopefully no-one will notice. You're a genius.
Michelangelo "No, I'm a sculptor"
Holy Father "Oh... and maybe once you've fixed him would you re-create the full size one in my private chambers for me? 

That’s how I think it ended up so small. Poor Eve looks very disappointed. God and a naked under-endowed Adam reach out to touch, and…according to the Catholic Church anyway, it all starts from there, a touch. Touch is the most important of sensations, and the one we feel first. Think of the new born baby that stops crying when picked up by its mother. We need touch for our well-being. It starts that way and it never stops being like that. It’s a way of communicating so much more intuitive and intimate than communication by speech or in writing.

When I’m massaging I notice how people respond to my touch in different ways depending on how and where I touch them. There are many different kinds of touch and all of them can come into play during a massage. There’s variation in pressure, as in how firm it is. Everyone has different preferences with pressure. A scale of 1 to 10 is good to assess the pressure someone prefers, with 1 being far too soft and 10 being just right. If they say it’s an 8 then I need to be a little bit firmer. Not all parts of the body need firm pressure. Light touch is best for some intimate areas, at least initially. Then there’s different strokes, mix in some long slow flowing strokes (Effleurage) with the palm of the hand, with the kneading and squeezing type of stroke (Petrissage) done more with fingers. It’s important to use a variety of touch in a sensual massage. Sometimes however clients have a definite preference for a specific type of touch.

I saw a client one time who had a very strong preference for a specific type of touch, to the exclusion of almost anything else. Let’s say he needed to be restrained on the massage table to receive this touch in the most effective way. It’s not usually necessary to tie someone to the table for a sensual massage…but this guy requested it. I’m all for client satisfaction so why not? He supplied the restraints, I supplied the rest of the experience. Things started off fairly normally with massage (except of course he’s tied down, laying in his front). Quite soon though he wanted a different kind of touch to that which I usually do in massage. No… it didn’t involve inflicting pain if that’s what you were thinking. That’s not my thing atall (although I don’t mind being on the receiving end sometimes but that’s a different story). This touch was tickle. My client wanted to be tickled as part of the massage and being tied down meant he had no choice but to submit to my tickles, adding to the excitement.

I tickled the guy for 45 minutes without stopping. I tickled his armpits, tickled his stomach, tickled his neck, his sides, his thighs, his bum, even his feet. I found tickly bits I never knew existed. The more I tickled the more he wanted, and the louder he laughed. Usually the sound coming out of the massage studio is just the music playing…maybe some loud groans and an “I’m gonna cum!” exclamation near the end. It’s often nothing too loud or distracting to any massage happening in the adjacent room. This guy was laughing so loud anyone outside must have wondered what was going on in there.

He’d turned over about half way through and having reapplied the restraints he was now laying on his back as I continued the tickling on his stomach and thighs. Our time was coming to an end so I started to play with his cock, which wasn’t yet hard. Briefly I tried to tickle with my left hand and caress his cock with my right but it didn’t work. The tickle was half hearted and the caressing wasn’t sexy. Have you ever tried to pat your head and rub your tummy simultaneously? Difficult isn’t it? The tickle / caress move is like that. I guess I could master it with practice but it wasn’t doing much for him at this point. “It’s ok he said, I’m not needing to cum. It’s been fantastic to be tickled like that….thank you so much”. I untied him and he gave me a big hug of thanks. “I just love being tickled while I’m tied down and unable to resist, you did a great job.”

My tickle client clearly got something he needed out of the session. Often these things go back to when we are small, at the beginning of our lives when our nature is formed. For him it was the touch of someone tickling him and him being unable to prevent it, like a baby being tickled by an adult. The touch took him back to that time and the feelings of security and love. Yes touch is an incredibly powerful force. Look up at the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel and see it writ large…although clearly not Adam’s cock sadly.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

U is for Undress

It’s amazing how many words we use today that were invented by Shakespeare. Undress is one of them. It was first used in The Taming Of The Shrew in around 1590. Unfortunately the context wasn’t for a massage but it’s a great word to invent. I like the word a lot, it carries so much anticipation. Let’s undress….

Keeping some clothes on for now…

Normal spa style massage starts when you’re undressed (or as far as you’re allowed to go these days, you keep your underwear on throughout usually). However you don’t need to be undressed to enjoy the sight, smell, sound and taste of a sensual massage. All your senses are involved as you are slowly undressed by your masseur. Perhaps you will hear the breathing of your masseur, or their whispers in your ear. Their scent may tease your nose or you might taste their lips, fingers or ahem…other body parts. The act of undressing can be an integral part of the massage. If you have time it’s great to start with mutual undressing before you move to the table naked. I’m imagining Shakespeare writing about massaging his lover, starting with undressing. How might he have described the experience? Maybe with a Sonnet….

That he may feel my touch should be undressed?
His garb throws up for me some kind of bar.
Where cloth does but conceal his gentle breast,
Deft hands may not see through; my touch may jar.
 
And where his frame retains the full attire
No naked skin shall tap an artful palm.
How will I fill his eyes with warm desire?
With touch that swells his loins from state of calm.
 
Will softly whisper in his gentle ear 
And part his lips so sweet to taste my soul
Undress him with my words and wipe a tear
With hands that heal his hurt and make him whole
 
With every sense, he’ll feel my passion swell
While in my hands his heart forever dwell

I usually start with my massage client naked on the table, under a nice warm fluffy towel. Often I’m naked at the start too, most people seem to like that. Otherwise it can be good to start in shorts, speedos, pants or, it has been known… a wrestling singlet. Starting the massage partially clothed can add to the sense of anticipation and excitement. You may feel the touch of fabric against your hand as I massage you. Then, without you being aware I’d removed the clothing you may later feel my naked flesh brush your hand. There’s something raw and egalitarian about us both being naked. Once the oil is applied it really is best to be naked; massage oil can be a devil to get out of your clothes.

Sometimes the massage starts, as Shakespeare’s sonnet describes, with my client fully clothed. How does this work? In my experience can work really well if the undressing is done expertly. It does takes a bit of practice. I remember one guy I saw wanted to start like this, with both of us fully clothed. I blindfolded him. Here’s a tip – always have a blindfold ready, they’re great to heighten the other senses once sight is disabled. I use those free blindfolds you get if you travel up front on an airplane. I’m assuming you only travel in the premium cabin so you know what I mean, or if you happen to end up in economy due to some awful booking error, that you make friends with the crew and get a free goody bag (and their phone number). Once he had the blindfold on I started gently touching his face and head, lightly running my hands over his clothed body and whispering in his ear about what would happen in the massage. A nice erotic atmosphere was building. Some clothing can be removed relatively easily, with elegance and panache, but there are some where it’s almost impossible to get them off in a sexy way. This guy had them all….fiddly shirt buttons, too many layers, jeans so tight that I had to pull desperately to get them over his calves (delicious calves by the way). That was once I’d worked out how to undo his belt…Another tip, do the belt and trouser buttons from behind, it’s familiar to do, and you can press your groin close from behind. Everything else was off, only his socks remained, and the atmosphere was still sexy. I tried to lift his leg, to remove the first sock. It’s surprising how long it takes to get a sock off, and evidently my guy’s balance on one leg (admittedly he was still blindfolded) wasn’t long enough unfortunately. He toppled over and luckily the massage table was there to break his fall. All the erotic tension disappeared in giggles as he lifted off the blindfold bent naked over the table with one sock on and one off. All I could say was “Ok mate, hop on and we’ll begin”.

Another time, having perfected all the clothing removal techniques I’d got my guy naked, aroused and ready to lay on the table. The socks were safely off and his clothes lay on the floor around his naked body. I slowly lifted the blindfold to guide him to the table. As I did this he looked down at his clothes strewn all over the floor and said “oh, I’ll just tidy these up” and for the next few minutes he neatly folded his clothes and put them on the chair while I stood there fiddling with the blindfold. Some people can’t stand a mess, even if there’s a massage waiting for them. He was happy once his clothes were neatly folded away but it did kind of interrupt the flow. Another tip…..if he’s obsessive about order don’t remove the blindfold until he’s prone on the table. Back to the Bard….

As well as all the lovely words Shakespeare has given us, like Undress, he’s also given us wonderful sonnets, many of which he addressed to a young man, so I chose to do the same with my attempt. There’s structure, rhythm and pattern to a sonnet that rather than confining you actually gives give you freedom to be creative with the words and the sentiment within the structure. In writing it I noticed that delivering a sensual massage can be similar. There’s a structure, rhythm and pattern to a massage (including undressing at the start) that enables the masseur to be creative in the delivery and sensuality of it. That’s my take on it anyway. Is that metaphor too much? Ok, hop on and we’ll begin.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

V is for Vocal

You’ve probably done those quizzes on-line which put you into two camps, you know the ones; toilet seat up or down?, pineapple on pizza OK or not OK?, spit or swallow (come on… this is a naughty blog isn’t it?). Now I have a new one for you. In my experience there are two types of people on a massage table….the quiet ones and the not quiet ones. Maybe that’s a bit extreme, there’s a few averagely noisy people in the middle I guess. However mostly from what I’ve seen…and heard… it’s very binary, you’re either vocal or you’re not. Which one are you? Don’t worry, there’s no ‘right and wrong’ answer. In this blog for letter V I’ll share some of my experiences and thoughts on being vocal on the table. So…please tell me, what side did you pick?

Steamy Talk

Yay! Good choice. You picked what makes you relaxed and happy didn’t you? That’s the best choice for your sensual massage. If you’re comfortable then you’ll probably have a better time. Feel happier talking? Go ahead and chat, make noises, groan and moan. Prefer silence? That’s cool, stay quiet and focus on your breath, enjoy the music. Oh listen…I can hear the music starting…….

His naked body lays prone on my table, music fills the room like heat spreading from an open fire as I drape a warm towel from his shoulders to his calves. Standing at his side I lean over the table, pressing my forearms firmly on his back. Slowly, I separate my arms, the left following the curve of his lower back to the top of his butt, the right pushing up towards his uncovered neck. The towel pulls tight between my arms as I bring my chest down into the gap, leaning on him, our bodies close, our breathing deep.  My right hand gently traces across the back of his neck, caressing his hairline with my finger nails. At the same time my left hand brushes across his towel covered glutes, briefly lingering and pressing between his cheeks. He squirms with pleasure, his legs parting slightly. The sensual massage spell is being created. The air latent with erotic intent. The senses heightened in anticipation. As I lift my body to begin massaging his head I hear someone say “have you been busy today?”. It’s so unexpected I couldn’t work out for a moment where the voice had come from, was it the music?. Then I realise it’s my client talking. I didn’t expect he wanted to chat….it threw me for a few seconds…what part of the body was I doing next? ….“No it’s been quiet, you’re the only person today” I reply, adding quickly “how’s the pressure?”. 

I carried on with the massage and we chatted about stuff, the weather, work, food (it’s amazing how hungry you can get while being massaged). We were at the start of the massage and so things hadn’t yet got so… y’know erotic. I learned that my guy hadn’t had a sensual massage from a male masseur before (or done much with guys at all) and he was very nervous indeed. The chat was a way of reducing his anxiety and making the situation feel more ‘normal’ just like two guys chatting over a drink in a pub. He wanted to explore his sexuality in a safe and unthreatening way so a massage, which had the potential to become more sexy or just stay as a massage depending on how he felt, was the best way to do that. We took things very slowly and he was able to relax into the massage and enjoy the intimacy with a guy without the pressure to do anything in return so to speak. As he became more relaxed he was able to talk more openly about what he wanted, and what he liked so we explored further. In those situations it’s good to talk throughout the massage and of course as things develop the discussion may naturally become more open and pertinent. In many ways it’s preferable to have such discussions before the massage but with time pressures and understandable reticence to talk so openly this isn’t always possible.

It’s not always anxiety that prompts clients to talk. Let’s say you do a job that doesn’t have much opportunity to talk to people. Maybe you just don’t get many conversations in your usual day. You enjoy a sensual massage to relax, you want some physical contact but it’s also important to you to talk with someone. Chatting to your masseur in those situations is an essential part of the experience for you. On the other hand you may have a very social job taking to people all day. The massage is then a chance to switch off from all that talk. To not articulate anything but simply soak in silence.

Overall I think that most guys I see are quiet and it is generally a male thing to not be especially vocal during massage or on reaching orgasm. A few groans and mmmmm’s perhaps but it’s rare to have someone make loud noises. With female clients I notice it’s very different. They are much more vocal especially when highly aroused and at the point of climax. Occasionally to the point where they are really quite loud and anyone in an adjacent room would be concerned at what’s going on. I recall seeing a female client in her hotel and she became very vocal and loud during the massage. I’m sure people passing in the corridor were tempted to press their ear to the door. When we talked afterwards she had little idea of what she’d said and how loud she was.

There is a biological reason for this difference between the sexes which I won’t go into here because of space but it’s good to be aware of the different motivations and reactions. Most of the communication in a sensual massage is done via touch (which is often lacking in our society) and visually, but it’s important also not to overlook the role that verbal communication plays in a massage, especially for females. Even if it’s just to ask “how’s the pressure?”.

 

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

W is for Where

Not Wank. Noooooo!….. that’s way too obvious and unimaginative. W is for Where, as in where do sensual massages take place? I’m talking location location location. A platform to perform on, a space to get sensual, a scene for seduction. The famous Martini ad ‘Anytime any place, any where…’ suggested you could have the drink wherever. Does it apply with sensual massage? Well, there’s good places and not so good places.

The floor makes for a very close massage

The usual location for a massage is in a dedicated studio on a massage table. I’ve done hundreds of those and it usually works sublimely. Make it a warm quiet room. Use soft lighting and set up a strong comfortable table. Definitely a strong table. I mount the table because it’s good for full body to body contact. The table needs to be able to take the weight and the rhythmic motion of two bodies sliding over each other and some …er…vigorous thrusting movements. You get the idea…

A few years ago I was helping out a friend at a massage workshop he was running. Think of a large lounge in a private apartment with 12 massage tables laid out. On each table is a towel covered naked guy ready to be massaged. Beside each table are two semi naked ladies ready to learn the art of sensual massage. The room is heavy with latent sensual energy, nervous anticipation and…y’know… some unspoken concerns amongst the guys about whether they’ll be able to perform. There’s a fair bit of competition in these situations and no-one wants to be the guy who didn’t shoot, or even the one who didn’t last the whole workshop.

Anyway, thats the scene and it’s an interesting location for a sensual massage, or 12 sensual massages to be precise. I was one of the demo bodies, lying naked under my towel. It’s a tough job but someone has to do it. You lay there while 2 Masseuses practice on you. They rotate between different guys every so often so you get to enjoy a variety of different styles. During breaks you give feedback. If the massage is good the feedback also comes in a rather more obvious way. Fortunately my trainees were good, I didn’t need to say much…they could tell.

The evening had started fairly normally (if this situation could ever be described as normal I guess). Our expert teacher had been demonstrating some opening moves at one of the tables. As as he did some energetic work on a guys back, while standing beside the table, it suddenly lurched forward and down as one of the legs collapsed. If someone had been hurt it wouldn’t have been funny but as soon as we realised there were no injuries the table failure added to the sense of fun in the room. The broken table was replaced and we all carried on. All the other tables remained firm and solid fortunately.

As the evening progressed, the lights dimmed and the massages became more erotic, there were other firm and solid things for the trainee masseuses to work on. One by one each table reached its’ climax. I remember trying to hold off as long as possible which isn’t easy when 4 hands have been working on you for the last hour and a half.

The massage workshop story shows that you don’t need a quiet uncrowded room to enjoy a good massage. As long as you’re not too shy it’s just as good in a room full of people, and especially so if you like an audience. If you’re in the zone either as giver or receiver it really doesn’t much matter what’s going on around you or where you are, you’re oblivious to it. All that matters in that moment is the connection between you and your massage partner(s).

In a private studio setting or the more public setting of a workshop or party there’s usually a proper (strong) massage table available. But what if you have no table? Does that mean no massage? No, it just means a different type of massage. If you’ve a futon or maybe a yoga mat you can still give a good sensual massage on the floor. There’s no concerns about anything collapsing is there? Carpet burns perhaps but nothing worse. Floor massage can be even more intimate. With much closer body contact it’s easier to use your whole body to massage. It can however be a bit less comfortable for the receiver because the floor is hard and it’s not easy to lie with your head down facing front. You can’t have everything.

Sometimes I do out calls to clients in their hotel. I have no concerns about waking into a hotel with my portable table but it isn’t especially easy to lug around. I’ve taken it to some exclusive London hotels without any problems. Sometimes in a hotel room there isn’t space to set up a table, although that obviously isn’t a problem in large suites. Some of my outcall clients are happy to just use the bed. That’s fine by me, although I do always offer to use the table because I think it’s a better massage than the bed.

Working on a bed is more challenging than the floor. Beds are much too soft for massage and it’s difficult to move around elegantly. I’ve accidentally knocked things off bedside tables and dislodged the headboard while trying to move around in a bed massage in the past. It’s not ideal, although is very intimate. The dynamic is different too because of the bed setting the massage might be interpreted as more of a sex session, which isn’t a bad thing, but it’s not the intention or aim of a sensual massage. It’s much better to enjoy the sensual massage on a table. If the massage develops naturally and mutually in a different direction then move to the bed.

Where’s best then? The answer to the question of ‘where?’ is less of a physical location – it could be in a crowded room, a hotel, your bedroom or a studio, on a table, on the floor or on a bed. They’re all possible. The answer to the question is where is your head? If you’re mentally ready and your comfortable with the company of your massage partner then almost regardless of the location you’re ready to enjoy a sensual massage. ‘Anytime, any place, anywhere…if you embrace it’ is the answer. Although it’s probably best to avoid anywhere you’d normally be expected to stay clothed. Being arrested wouldn’t be a happy ending.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

Y is for You

“It’s all about you, it’s all about you, baby” sang McFly in 2005. A great song by an iconic band although it’s not something I’d play during a massage. Decent massage music is the subject of a different letter of the alphabet on a different day. I’ve had a few disasters with that but it’s for another time. Today is Y and Y is for You. All about You.

Ever had someone ask you ‘how was your week’ and then, as you reply you realise they’re not listening? Sure, they’re looking at you, nodding and smiling. “Yeah…really, wow…yeah cool…” – all the signs of listening are there… but somehow you sense they don’t much care. They’re not really engaged in your answer. You could say anything… “yes it was lovely thanks, I had dinner with your wife then we danced naked around your front garden while the neighbours cheered” …and they wouldn’t hear a word you said. It’s just a ruse they have to get you to ask the same question back so they can talk about themselves. Am I being unfair? Maybe, but we’ve all been there I’m sure. For some people it’s always all about them.

What’s this got to do with sensual massage? Fair question, here goes…. You’d like a massage? Good, you’re in the right place coming to see me. This isn’t the take away joint downstairs (my studio is above a takeaway, maybe come and get a massage and work up an appetite for a Chinese?). But what’s your motivation for it? What’s driving you to visit today? There’s lots of reasons why you’d book a massage; curiosity about being with a guy, to try a new experience, to relax, to explore, to learn, to chat about sexy stuff, for physical contact….all sorts of things are working and they’re all good reasons, I love them all. I try to understand why you’re here, even if it is just because it’s close to the takeaway, that’s cool. Understanding helps me make sure I can help you have a great massage. Sometimes you tell me in detail – “I like 12 long strokes down each leg, left one first, and the index finger of your right hand massaging my prostate for 37 seconds” which is good although it’s difficult to choreograph a sensual massage to that level…it’s best to evolve rather than be quite so planned. But I do know that with requests like that that my client is anxious and likes to know the plan. I hope that often I can work it out without too many questions, it’s good to simply feel where to go and what to do…it’s a sensual massage after all. However sometimes I just ask “so John, what are you looking for today?” “I’m here to shoot my load Jamie”. OK so I get a few smart arse clients …

Whatever you are looking for, the one thing I try to do is make sure you feel is that it’s all about you, and not in any way about me. It’s your massage and by understanding why you’re here and what you like I hope that as you lay on the table and wherever else the massage takes us…floor, shower, bed, Chinese takeaway..it is always your massage and your pleasure I’m focused on.

Unfortunately there are some masseurs who do make it about themselves. If you want a great sensual massage avoid those masseurs. It is possible to recognise the type. They’ll watch themselves in the mirror a lot. They may have a long list of things they won’t do. They might publicise the type of clients they’d prefer not to book by using implied or direct language on their website. There’s also those who make you feel like they’re doing you a favour by booking with them. I do get massages myself (it’s good for market research) and I’ve experienced some of those masseurs. I wouldn’t go back to them.

If you arrange a sensual massage it’s definitely about You. It’s your bit of ‘me’ time which everyone needs now and again. In that precious time you want someone who is totally focused on your enjoyment of the moment. In a sensual massage it’s obvious to you if your masseur is not fully engaged and focused on your needs. They should be totally absorbed in your massage, focused intently on your body and your mind, noticing your breath, your heart rate, your energy, what makes your cock twitch. They’d notice how your fingers flex when they run their nails across your shoulder, how your breathing slows when they massage your head, how your legs part as they draw their palms up your inner thighs. If they’re just going through the motions then I’m sure you’ll know. In the same way it’s very clear that your mate isn’t listening in those ‘how was your week’ conversations it is also clear in a sensual massage that your sensual masseur isn’t sensing. If that’s the case then it isn’t about you, it’s probably about them. You may get a decent massage but it won’t be a sensual massage.

Tom Fletcher wrote the McFly song as an apology to his then girlfriend because he apparently forgot Valentines Day. I guess it worked because they subsequently married. A happy ending to that story! I’m not looking for marriage (unless you’re a millionaire of course…message me with details, I’ll start the wedding arrangements) but I will do my best to make sure your massage is all about you…with a happy ending. We all like happy endings.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

G is for Golden

This post was sent to me by a follower. He’ll remain anonymous but let’s call him Tom. Tom, you know who you are. I’d like to thank you here for your fantastic contribution to my Z to A of Massage. For Tom G is for Golden.

Older guys matter

Being an older gay or bisexual man, even in today’s liberated pc world, can limit your opportunities for physical affection, touch and relief. Not only can you have body image problems and may not be able to shoot as you once did, but as your world narrows the need for intimacy is just as great. Unfortunately, true or not, its easy to get the impression that it’s inappropriate to want, let alone have, even mild sex except very privately with a long-term partner. Even then, if anyone gets to hear about it, there’s likely to be a smutty chortle.

I’ve been in a committed partnership for many years and our knowledge of and love for each other grows deeper as each year passes. But health and other issues long since made us opt for separate rooms – although we often share a double bed when in a hotel – and even though sex has slipped off the agenda, we still hug and kiss a lot, if only out of habit. Yet, there’s still the need for something EXTRA.

Now in my seventies, my lively libido shows no signs of diminishing and I know I’m not alone. It’s not hard-core stuff I need, it’s being helped to still feel alive, coming away from the experience relaxed and exhilarated. A day out. An escape. Also, as a writer, it’s great getting to know other people and how they tick and can be a socially rewarding experience too.   

Friendly sensual masseurs are a real gift 

Escorts (though they often double as erotic masseurs) aren’t the ideal way of achieving release. Not only is one conscious of the extra health risk involved but, lovely though some of them are, I get the impression many are programmed to deliver an edgier kind of service. A friendly masseur, however, is a real gift. Because I don’t want to get too emotionally reliant on any one of them, I visit, in turn several masseurs in their ‘forties’ who make me feel, even if it’s only an illusion, that they enjoy seeing me. It’s just as well that my budget only allows one massage every few weeks!  

Extra inches make the connection

I’ve tried younger ones, and they’re often charming but, understandably perhaps, unwilling to go those extra… erm …inches and make me imagine, for sixty or ninety minutes that I’m special. At the end of the day it’s a transaction. I’m not kidding myself it’s anything more – but it’s still nice if you’re able to connect.

I can tell when a masseur is put off by my years. However well-mannered, it comes across in their body language. The deciding factor is the nature of the hug and maybe kiss I get when I leave that makes me know I’d be welcome to return. ‘See you again soon’ means a lot. 

I remember when I was younger, I avoided ‘dirty old men’ in saunas and on the Heath. A pity, because, even though we no longer have trim physiques, some of us are more than just a sad old body and worth getting to know.  

Masseurs with the golden touch have helped keep me feeling young. I’m so grateful to them!

———————————————

Thank you Tom for sharing that beautiful insight. I see clients in their twenties and all ages up to those in their seventies. There’s no upper age limit for a massage, just some health requirements. G stands for Golden and I would say it also stands for Go For It. Don’t let age stop you from doing the things you like. Go for it!

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

X is for X Rated

X got me thinking about the days when adult movies had an X rating awarded by the film classification authorities. What a great job that would be, watching all the movies to decide if they’re naughty enough for an X. I wonder where the line is between X and ‘not X’? A downward hanging semi is ok but if he goes beyond horizontal it’s an X? Tough job. The X rating has long gone now. Different classifications are used these days and generally I think that things have become much less restrictive. However it seems that the ‘X’ prefix is still used to signify there’s going to be hot action on view. I’m thinking of things like the Xtube.com site which hosts professional and amateur porn.

Thats X rated

When I browse through Xtube there’s all sorts of different themes for almost every taste. Whatever porn you like is available; into Latino cross dressers fucking in public? No problem it’s there for you. Someone somewhere is creating it and someone somewhere is watching it. We’re all voyeurs or exhibitionists now, and some are both depending on their mood. The exhibitionists are making porn and posting it, the voyeurs are consuming it and the tube sites and similar have given everyone the ability to reach an audience. That’s fantastic.

An even better job than the deciding the X rating on films is the job of being in or making pornos. I’ve not done any porn professionally but have done loads of amateur shoots that are available online. In case you hadn’t already worked that out …I love performing on camera, or for an audience. Most of the sexy movies I’ve done are massage themed porn. Some of it is on Xtube but most of what I’ve been in is on a great site called sensualmassagemovies.com. I can’t now remember how I found out about the sensual massage movies site and the possibility of performing but somehow I’ve ended up doing dozens of them. No idea how that happened…However I can remember going along first time to the filming location (a cool riverside apartment) and feeling scared but horny. I’d applied on line and sent in some pictures and stats, expecting to hear nothing back because I’d convinced myself I wouldn’t be suitable. Then, after an exchange of texts with the guy from the site I found myself standing outside the apartment with a semi in my pants nervously hesitating to ring the bell…

I pressed the bell and …around two hours later I’d had a great massage and shot a cum everywhere as I knelt on the table while the fit masseur expertly worked my cock to orgasm. The whole session was filmed by the cameraman which really turned me on, especially because he was hot too. I’d been fretting about whether I’d be able to get hard on cue and to make the ‘money shot’ as it’s supposedly called once the camera was running. No chance, even before the camera was on I was hard. It was quite difficult to lay face down on the massage table. And when the camera guy said go for the money shot I managed to hit the cue. It must be an exhibitionist thing because I’ve done dozens of movies now and never had trouble getting hard or shooting at the right time.

Making the massage movie is how I got into being a masseur but that’s a different story for a different letter. Now when I’m making X rated massage movies I’m usually the the masseur rather than the recipient. Although as the movie progresses the roles of masseur and massaged tend to blur because they become very interactive. In my work as a masseur I never make any movies with clients who book a massage. Client bookings are totally private and discreet. I can’t be thinking about camera angles and lighting etc while concentrating on a client’s massage. However I do film with volunteers who are keen to be in a movie (with or without showing their face). These movies are shot at a different location to my client massage studio because we can set up studio lights and different camera positions at the filming location. It keeps things separate.

I think X rated massage movies are definitely a sought after genre of porn. Everyone who’s been for a massage in a spa or hotel has fantasied about the masseur going a bit further than usual haven’t they? A decent X massage movie starts out like a spa massage and builds up to X rated action just like you fantasied about at your last spa massage. Maybe if you’ve enjoyed watching a massage movie you might also want to volunteer to be in one yourself? If the thought of that just caused a stirring down there then I think that might be your answer. Ask me for the details. It can be arranged. Jamie X

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

Z is for Zzzzzzzz 😴

Ok so Zoo has no obvious connection with massage, nor does Zodiac or Zebra. So allow me a little leeway in going for Zzzzzz, the universally recognised onomatopoeia for sleep (and snoring).

💤
Sleepy Head

‘Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care…’ as Macbeth said on returning after murdering King Duncan. Macbeth may well have benefited from having a sensual massage after the murder, to calm his nerves and help him sleep, or maybe just to get away from Lady Macbeth for a while (she seems the sort you might like to avoid at times). However, I don’t advocate that you visit me for a massage after committing regicide. Perhaps give it a few days to let the dust settle?

What I do recommend is if you’re finding your sleep is poor or shallow then sometimes a relaxing session of sensual massage may help you get a good nights rest and take your mind off any late Scottish Kings or hectoring partners that are troubling you.

It is well established that massage promotes relaxation and sleep in those who are stressed. Massage stimulates the release of hormones such as dopamine and serotonin which increase relaxation and reduce pain. Massage also reduces stress by decreasing heart rate and levels of cortisol hormone. That’s very briefly the science. Does it accord with what I’ve seen and heard from my clients?

Yes i think it does! I’m regularly told by clients that they slept well after a massage or indeed some even sleep during the massage, albeit briefly near the beginning of the session when things are gentler and slower. Sensual massage is intended to relax you of course but also to arouse and build to a climax. Sleep may feature at the start but quite quickly you’ll be aware of a stirring ‘down there’ as things become more erotic. As the massage develops in intensity the last thing on your mind will be sleep.

My massage usually starts with some deep breathing to slow down my client’s breath and help calm the mind. After some establishing touch on their body and legs I begin with a head massage. Most people are happy to have their head massaged and it certainly seems to bring about deep relaxation. Sometimes the release of tension in the body, especially in the shoulders is visible as I work the head and neck. So begins the process of deeper connection between masseur and client.

I do recall a client who after about 15 minutes into the massage began snoring (those Zzzz again) quite loudly. He was very clearly asleep and it momentarily went through my mind ‘what do I do if he sleeps all way through?’

He’d booked 90 minutes and, during the booking chat had been quite specific about what he wanted, and it wasn’t a 90 minute afternoon nap. How was I going to get my cock in his mouth as requested if he’s deep in the land of morpheus? Is it appropriate to change the music from background massage tunes to heavy metal? Do I even have that on my playlist?

Fortunately he seemed to wake as I started to move into a more vigorous section of the massage. I need not have worried about meeting his requests because after a while he was enjoying testing out his lack of gag reflex…which I was quite impressed with. After we’d finished he did say that he was fully asleep at the start, after having been a while in that wonderful twilight between awake and asleep where you slip to the edge of consciousness like a snowflake melting on a window. He’d said he’d had a busy day and the massage was so calming at the start that he had just dropped off in a most welcome way. So in the end all was well and he left very happy, and to a good nights sleep.

Spoiler Alert! Macbeth doesn’t have a happy ending (I’m sure you know that but just in case…..). I think he should have availed himself of a sensual massage before embarking on his bloody bid for the throne. It might have chilled him out. Lady Macbeth too…I do couples massages, they’d both have been most welcome. They’d have got a happy ending, and a good nights sleep Zzzzzzzzz. Duncan would have slept well too I guess. But the play would have been very boring indeed.

Categories
Z to A of Sensual Massage

The Z to A of Sensual Massage

À la recherche du temps perdu seems to be an apt phrase for these difficult times as I look back with some longing for days when enforced social distancing and fear of an invisible virus were things unknown to us.

‘F’ is for Feather

The title of the Proust novel can be translated as a remembrance of things past. Remembering the time before this crisis when we took human contact almost for granted is something I’d like to explore and celebrate in this blog series. I write not only for my own amusement (why not? there’s only so much porn one can watch…), but also to amuse and enthuse my readers about the pleasure of a sensual massage. Who knows maybe some of you will come along and try one out after the dark clouds lift?

I plan to write a Z to A of sensual massage. Drawing on my experience of giving sensual massages to hundreds of clients over the past few years and what I’ve learned from some fantastic massage colleagues and teachers, I hope to take you on an alphabetical journey from Z to A. Beginning at the end should help to make it feel like a countdown to the end of the restrictions (we hope)…perhaps in a similar way to the slow build of excitement and eroticism of a sensual massage.

Feel free to send me (via the Contact Me page on my website) your thoughts and suggestions for future letters, all feedback is good. Let’s be imaginative though, C won’t be for Cock, or Cum…that’s too easy! Look out for Z shortly, and stay safe. Jamie X