S is for Sensual

Hello, we’re at letter S. It has to be S for Sensual doesn’t it? This is, after all Sensual Touch so S for Slippery, Slide or for Stroke is not fitting. I could do many posts using S for Sexual, Swedish Massage, Spa, Salon….but we must move on, we can’t keep letter R waiting in our journey from the Z to A of sensual massage. So it’s S for Sensual and that’s all.

In this blog post I’m answering the question I often get asked by clients, What is a sensual massage? How is this type of massage different from a Swedish massage or a salon or spa massage (see what I did there?).  Well, it’s definitely a sexy massage but not necessarily sexual. It’s also very intimate, usually done with both the client and the masseur naked, and will often end in orgasm, although it doesn’t have to. Confusing? In S for Sensual I aim to de-mystify the sensual massage, and answer the question, what is sensual massage?

The Urban Dictionary defines sensual as ‘Arousing but not entirely sexual, relating to sexual feelings without actually having intercourse’. It also says that ‘anything (doesn’t have to be sexual) that makes you feel good is sensual’. That seems to me to be a very good start of a description of a sensual massage. Maybe we need a bit more though, because a Swedish style salon massage (like one you might get in a spa or hotel) can feel good, and it isn’t sexual, so whilst it fits the definition, I’d say it isn’t a sensual massage. So what are the essential features of a sensual massage? What things should you look for in a massage offering to be sure that it’s the sensual variety? Think of this as a checklist for a proper sensual massage… if these things are on the menu, then you’re going to be served a sensual massage.

In physiology sensory stimuli such as smell, sound etc. are converted through sensory transduction in the nervous system to trigger reactions. This isn’t a scientific blog (nor am I a scientist) so I’ll just say that this means certain smells, sounds tastes and touches etc make you feel certain things, be they feelings of sexual arousal, well being, security or relaxation. Use the right stimuli and you usually get the desired result. I’m talking about the senses, all of which are present in a sensual massage…obviously…or it wouldn’t be called sensual!

Touch is obvious, we’ll dig deeper on that one later. Sight is less obvious in a sensual massage situation but it is relevant. Most of the time all you’d see while on the table is the floor through the head hole as you lay prone on the table. Turn over however and the visual aspect becomes more relevant. What you imagined whilst prone you can now see. Many of my male clients are quite visual. Much more so than my female clients. It’s definitely a male trait to be more turned on by visuals than females for whom an emotional connection is more relevant. Whether it’s in the opportunity to see themselves, and me in the mirror (always have some mirrors placed around the table), or sometimes even to watch a video of their massage, guys do like visual stimulation. I’m not talking videos of the whole massage (that’s a separate blog….M for Movies), but maybe just 30 seconds or so of a key part of the massage so to speak. If my client wants it I’m ok to film us on their phone so that they control the material. I remember one time I was filming holding the guys phone carefully so as not to cover the camera lens in oil. As things got close to the er….let’s call it ahem …’the money shot’ the phone slipped from my hand and I dropped it somewhere delicate, which sort of interrupted the moment. We played it back to see if it caught any particularly artistic shots as it fell but unfortunately not. Never mind, he got the main bit he wanted so that worked out ok…..something to watch later on back at home. On the whole I’m not keen to film the massage whilst holding a phone though because it’s almost impossible to do. I like to concentrate on the massage.

What about sounds I hear you ask?  The right music can definitely set the mood and get things going. I favour instrumentals, and classical music. One client likes to be massaged while Brahms plays which is rather lovely. I like to synchronise my movements on the table to the pace and mood of the music, for which Brahms is ideal. If you know the piece you can make each passage fit the massage rather like a film director uses music to enhance the film. It does take some practice, and doesn’t always work…especially if you select the wrong piece. I played Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture by mistake on one occasion. It’s not an ideal piece for a sensual massage. I think I had the wrong play list selected on Spotify. Once it had started I didn’t want to interrupt things to change it so I just persevered with this rousing piece becoming more and more distracting in the background. I should have just switched it but I thought I’d try and make my guys ejaculation synchronise with the canons near the end of the symphony, so I let it play on. It would have been awesome if he’d cum just as each canon boomed, what a climax. Unfortunately it didn’t work out like that and he came to soon. Not a case of premature ejaculation (he’d been on the table almost 90 minutes) but more the fault of the conductor I think. I should have been more delicate, or played a different tune.

Smell is an important sensation in a sensual massage. Some masseurs light a joss stick which fills the room with fragrance. I’m not keen on those because I don’t like the smoke. I prefer to use scented massage oil. Grapeseed oil is good oil to use in a massage because it has no smell of its own but you can add scents to it depending on your preference. Lavender is good for creating a sense of calm. I do always offer clients to use unscented oil too. Some clients I see are discreet about having a sensual massage and it’s important for them that there are no scents on their skin or hair.

Of all the senses touch is probably the most important in a sensual massage. So much emotion can be conveyed through touch. I covered some of Touch in my last blog post, T for Touch (I hope you liked it). There’s plenty more to say though because touch is like a whole language of communication. Think of different touches as different words used to convey messages. A light finger tip stroke down your inner thigh says one thing, a slap of a palm on a buttock says something else. Both are touch. Both are legitimate in a sensual massage. And it’s not just hands and fingers doing the touch. I like to use my whole body during the massage, at times just the lightest touch with my breath, at other times using my whole body weight. Sometimes my elbow, sometimes my cock. Even the anticipation of touch is enough as you trace your fingers down the person’s spine slowly and inexorably towards their bum the tension builds. I often do this standing at the head end, at the start of the massage, to signal that this is a sensual massage and I’ll go to the intimate places. Quick tip, only do it if you can be sure to reach all the way so to speak. I saw a very tall guy one time, admittedly the table was quite high but standing at the head and slowly tracing down his spine I realised about two thirds of the way down I wasn’t tall enough to reach all the way. Rather inelegantly I climbed onto the table, knees astride his head as I finished the move. Not ideal at that point in the massage (it works nicely later on for rimming).

We didn’t cover taste did we? It’s not especially relevant to sensual massage, unless you’re into some kind of unusual kink? Chocolate massage oil? There’s a thought….. it might make licking things taste less of oil.

So we covered the senses, what else is there that is an essential ingredient of a sensual massage? Does it need to be sexual? Does it include intercourse? It’s a question I’m often asked. I say it can be intimate, it can include climax and penetration but it certainly doesn’t have to. Go back to that Urban Dictionary definition… “Arousing but not entirely sexual, relating to sexual feelings without actually having intercourse”. The essence of sensual massage is that you feel entirely comfortable and relaxed in the moment, and in the presence of you masseur. Many times I find that people are looking for intimacy and connection in a massage which they may not get from sex, it being so focused on performance and reaching climax. With a sensual massage you can let go and simply enjoy the sensations of the massage without being concerned about where it may go or what may happen because there’s no pressure to perform. Each event in the massage is a natural progression, and is signalled by the masseur reading your body and guiding you on the journey of exploration. It’s the journey and not the destination that matters. And on the subject of journeys, the next letter is R. Any requests for R? Let me know….